To compete with zoombie's stories, I've decided to write and post a few of my own....
So, without further ado, presenting:
In the Line of Duty
Part I: Hold the line
├óÔé¼┼ôHold the line, damnit!├óÔé¼┬Ø came the yell, above the sounds of the battle. Dust and smoke swirled in the air as bullets screamed past, and the soldiers raised their weapons to fire again.
├óÔé¼┼ôFIRE!├óÔé¼┬Ø yelled a man with sergeant├óÔé¼Ôäós stripes, he himself raising a shotgun and firing.
From the other side, out of the smoke, more soldiers, in a different uniform, more ragtag and indiscriminate, charged forwards. As they ran, they fired at the soldiers in the trenches, and the zip and whine of bullets increased.
├óÔé¼┼ô30 seconds till drop ship!├óÔé¼┬Ø yelled the captain, ducking behind the low wall around the trench to avoid being hit.
One of the soldiers was hit, and fell to the floor, his chest bleeding.
├óÔé¼┼ôMedic!├óÔé¼┬Ø yelled the sergeant, jumping to where the man had fallen. The medic lowered his SMG and ran over to the stricken soldier, and began to treat the wounds. Pouring a small amount of a greenish goo onto the wound, he then took a bottle of water and emptied it onto the wound, which immediately began to heal. The soldier slowly stood up and, staying low enough to remain behind the wall, picked up his rifle.
├óÔé¼┼ôJosephs, are you okay?├óÔé¼┬Ø the sergeant asked.
├óÔé¼┼ôYes sarge.├óÔé¼┬Ø Came the reply, as Josephs raised his rifle to his shoulder, and standing up fully, took aim at an approaching enemy. Firing a 3 round burst into the man├óÔé¼Ôäós chest, he ducked again as a machinegun opened fire on him.
From the far end of the trench, someone yelled ├óÔé¼┼ôRPG! EVERYONE DUCK!├óÔé¼┬Ø as an enemy soldier raised the launcher tube to his shoulder and took aim. At that moment, 2 machineguns roared into life from a drop ship approaching the battlefield. The hostile soldiers turned and ran for it as the one with the RPG was shredded. I lowered my rifle, and, with the rest of my platoon, boarded the drop ship. Looking behind me as I went through the door, I could see, through the smoke, the ruins of the city burning.
My name is Private Harry Baker, of the 1st Angelus battleforce of the United Nations Special Corps military, European Commonwealth area. We were the first ones to stand up to the NAR successfully, and my particular platoon, under Captain Davis, was amongst the ones who retook Manchester from the scum.
Angelus├óÔé¼┬ª angels. That├óÔé¼Ôäós what the citizens called us, angels on wings of fire. I suppose it was correct, in a sense. We came down in drop pods, abandoning the Reliant as she crashed. Even knowing the reasons, I├óÔé¼Ôäóm still amazed that we managed to win that first battle. It was like a catalyst, however. The moment news got around of our landing and our victory, all of Europe, Canada and Australia was up in arms, fighting their invaders.
According to command, there are 2 forces opposing us. The New Age Revolution, the scum of the Earth. They are the remains of the old terrorist groups and the governments who sponsored them, and are bent on bringing the world to their will, and under their control. And the Global Corporate Collective. This is a corporate army, who basically seek to maintain a materialistic lifestyle, and their soldiers live in luxury when not in combat... would be a good deal, apart from the fact that to maintain this luxury, they need armies of slaves.
And then there├óÔé¼Ôäós us, the UNSC. We├óÔé¼Ôäóre the last stand of democracy, I suppose. In the 15 years that we├óÔé¼Ôäóve been fighting, the Angelus have never really faced defeat. We├óÔé¼Ôäóve had to retreat, or been beaten back temporarily. But never actually defeated. Until today├óÔé¼┬ª
In the Line of Duty
Moderator: Moderators
I always finde the stories in this forum entertaining to read although I hardly comment.
Of course this is just part 1 of the story but the ending is such a cliffhanger that it leaves with a "uhm..yea" feeling.
The battle in the beginning was good to read(its a battle afterall) but some words were repeated and it seemed a bit strange:
In the beginning I didnt expect a first-person narrator,but maybe thats just because private Baker is too "cool" to feel emotions for the war around him..
Anyway, decent start, go on
Of course this is just part 1 of the story but the ending is such a cliffhanger that it leaves with a "uhm..yea" feeling.
The battle in the beginning was good to read(its a battle afterall) but some words were repeated and it seemed a bit strange:
...raising a shotgun and firing.
From the other side, out of the smoke, more soldiers, in a different uniform, more ragtag and indiscriminate, charged forwards. As they ran, they fired at the soldiers
ducking behind the low wall around the trench to avoid being hit.
One of the soldiers was hit
I hope you get the idea.and fell to the floor, his chest bleeding.
├óÔé¼┼ôMedic!├óÔé¼┬Ø yelled the sergeant, jumping to where the man had fallen
In the beginning I didnt expect a first-person narrator,but maybe thats just because private Baker is too "cool" to feel emotions for the war around him..
Anyway, decent start, go on
Ah yes, excellent, more competition. Actually its less competition more "I want to read your story's, you want to read mine...ext".
The faction the main character is fighting for is too goody two shoes, like Starfleet. Make them more evil. Or if not evil, muddy. Muddy is always fun. Not too good, not too bad. You know the drill. Unless that is the point.
Of course you should probably ignore my advice, as I'm me, and not you. Your you.
I should hope at least. If it seems like I'm high, its just cause its three in the mourning and I have had nothing to eat but Goldfish crackers and IBC rootbeer.
The faction the main character is fighting for is too goody two shoes, like Starfleet. Make them more evil. Or if not evil, muddy. Muddy is always fun. Not too good, not too bad. You know the drill. Unless that is the point.
Of course you should probably ignore my advice, as I'm me, and not you. Your you.
I should hope at least. If it seems like I'm high, its just cause its three in the mourning and I have had nothing to eat but Goldfish crackers and IBC rootbeer.
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BlackLiger
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: 05 Oct 2004, 21:58
Not totally. I can give you a brief foreword on the factions. Don't forget, this POV in the story IS the POV of a soldier OF 1 of the factions...
The UNSC are the 'good guys', but they aren't perfect or goody goody. They are an army, and so are a military junta at the moment. While they fight for democracy (and the civilian nations under their protection have democracy) they have been known to use very powerful super weapons like their orbital rail guns to pound out of existence entire cities because there were hostiles within the city. They do try to avoid this, however, or at least to evacuate the civilians first....
They're opposed to religion in an organized sense, and so all religious organizations, while they can still exist, are limited to an extreme. The Catholic Church, for example, can no longer employ the Swiss guard to protect the Vatican....
They are probably comparable to most western cultures, with good and bad sides. Crime still exists, and pollution. Nanotechnology hasn't really changed that much, although medicines, computing and production industries are now more advanced. Mining for the raw materials for the nanites is dangerous, if profitable, but all mine sites are under military control, as are most resources, including fresh water supplies...
While democratically elected governments exist in each nation (Of which there are 4, the European Commonwealth, the Finnish Alliance, the Australian Freedom Force and New Canada), these are subordinate to the central council, a semi recreation of the UN security council, with 1 civilian and 1 military representative from each of the nations, plus the head of the military.
Having said this, away from the front lines, quality of living is good, and generally very safe, due to low tolerance for crime. At the same time, individual rights are subordinate to the requirements of the armed forces, and anyone in the military above the rank of captain may requisition any civilian equipment they may require for no cost.
(Yes, Like the Federation in Starship Troopers, and for a similar reason) The right to vote is only provided to those who have either done military service, or some service of great value to the state (doctors, teachers, researchers).
Soldiers are very much informed that, should it come to it, their lives are secondary to any civilians in the area, and so may be abandoned if there isn't room on the evacuation craft.
The NAR are somewhat the bad guys, but entirely dependant on your point of view. Their society is modeled around religiously controlled government. They represent the view of those who want their government to obey religious teachings, and for the law to follow what God has set down.
They can and will use nuclear, biological and chemical weapons without regard for civilians. They regard all life as secondary to their faith, and so have and will conduct extreme war crimes in the name of ├óÔé¼╦£the cause├óÔé¼Ôäó. However, they are also the first to begin reconstruction of people├óÔé¼Ôäós homes when a battle is complete. They control much of the third world, and are a communist style organization, who feels that wealth and power should be shared equally amongst all the nations and peoples. They are highly opposed to atheism, and to space travel, claiming that it was when we left our planet that we strayed from the true path, and so God sent his wrath down upon us.
If they were to win the war, it is highly possible that another war, caused by the differences between the many religions that make up the NAR, would occur.
Due to this system, they do not have a democracy of sorts, but instead subscribe to the belief that anyone who objects to the government can organized a force to voice their objection, and if this force is capable, it may replace the government.
The GCC are the private armies of the corporations. These corporations have formed the central houses of a modified feudal system, the Nei-san, the Tohyohtah, the Wahl-Mert and the Eh-ex-on forming the central 4. Despite this, the standard of living for a normal citizen of this faction is remarkably higher than any of the others, although crime is rife in the corporate sense, anyone caught in criminality is also very harshly punished. Everything is corporately owned, including the military, and so GCC equipment is of the highest quality, because it is produced by competing companies, who want to keep their contracts.
They also tend to avoid civilian casualties if possible, and are high opposed to the use of nuclear weapons. They also use ├óÔé¼╦£air cruisers├óÔé¼Ôäó, flying fortresses which are armed well enough to take on a ground base. Their central headquarters is in Tokyo, Japan, and is a VERY tall (reaching above cloud level) tower, at the top of which is the launch bay for these air cruisers.
The tower is segmented into access levels, and the higher your access level, the higher your social status. Only members of the big 4 may go to the top of the tower, apart from the military, who have access everywhere via their own private elevator├óÔé¼┬ª
The UNSC are the 'good guys', but they aren't perfect or goody goody. They are an army, and so are a military junta at the moment. While they fight for democracy (and the civilian nations under their protection have democracy) they have been known to use very powerful super weapons like their orbital rail guns to pound out of existence entire cities because there were hostiles within the city. They do try to avoid this, however, or at least to evacuate the civilians first....
They're opposed to religion in an organized sense, and so all religious organizations, while they can still exist, are limited to an extreme. The Catholic Church, for example, can no longer employ the Swiss guard to protect the Vatican....
They are probably comparable to most western cultures, with good and bad sides. Crime still exists, and pollution. Nanotechnology hasn't really changed that much, although medicines, computing and production industries are now more advanced. Mining for the raw materials for the nanites is dangerous, if profitable, but all mine sites are under military control, as are most resources, including fresh water supplies...
While democratically elected governments exist in each nation (Of which there are 4, the European Commonwealth, the Finnish Alliance, the Australian Freedom Force and New Canada), these are subordinate to the central council, a semi recreation of the UN security council, with 1 civilian and 1 military representative from each of the nations, plus the head of the military.
Having said this, away from the front lines, quality of living is good, and generally very safe, due to low tolerance for crime. At the same time, individual rights are subordinate to the requirements of the armed forces, and anyone in the military above the rank of captain may requisition any civilian equipment they may require for no cost.
(Yes, Like the Federation in Starship Troopers, and for a similar reason) The right to vote is only provided to those who have either done military service, or some service of great value to the state (doctors, teachers, researchers).
Soldiers are very much informed that, should it come to it, their lives are secondary to any civilians in the area, and so may be abandoned if there isn't room on the evacuation craft.
The NAR are somewhat the bad guys, but entirely dependant on your point of view. Their society is modeled around religiously controlled government. They represent the view of those who want their government to obey religious teachings, and for the law to follow what God has set down.
They can and will use nuclear, biological and chemical weapons without regard for civilians. They regard all life as secondary to their faith, and so have and will conduct extreme war crimes in the name of ├óÔé¼╦£the cause├óÔé¼Ôäó. However, they are also the first to begin reconstruction of people├óÔé¼Ôäós homes when a battle is complete. They control much of the third world, and are a communist style organization, who feels that wealth and power should be shared equally amongst all the nations and peoples. They are highly opposed to atheism, and to space travel, claiming that it was when we left our planet that we strayed from the true path, and so God sent his wrath down upon us.
If they were to win the war, it is highly possible that another war, caused by the differences between the many religions that make up the NAR, would occur.
Due to this system, they do not have a democracy of sorts, but instead subscribe to the belief that anyone who objects to the government can organized a force to voice their objection, and if this force is capable, it may replace the government.
The GCC are the private armies of the corporations. These corporations have formed the central houses of a modified feudal system, the Nei-san, the Tohyohtah, the Wahl-Mert and the Eh-ex-on forming the central 4. Despite this, the standard of living for a normal citizen of this faction is remarkably higher than any of the others, although crime is rife in the corporate sense, anyone caught in criminality is also very harshly punished. Everything is corporately owned, including the military, and so GCC equipment is of the highest quality, because it is produced by competing companies, who want to keep their contracts.
They also tend to avoid civilian casualties if possible, and are high opposed to the use of nuclear weapons. They also use ├óÔé¼╦£air cruisers├óÔé¼Ôäó, flying fortresses which are armed well enough to take on a ground base. Their central headquarters is in Tokyo, Japan, and is a VERY tall (reaching above cloud level) tower, at the top of which is the launch bay for these air cruisers.
The tower is segmented into access levels, and the higher your access level, the higher your social status. Only members of the big 4 may go to the top of the tower, apart from the military, who have access everywhere via their own private elevator├óÔé¼┬ª
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BlackLiger
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: 05 Oct 2004, 21:58
-
BlackLiger
- Posts: 1371
- Joined: 05 Oct 2004, 21:58
CHAPTER 1 ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ Insertion :
We├óÔé¼Ôäód been deployed to an area just inside the former nation of Sudan. Supposedly, a fragment of the station the Reliant had been fighting had crashed into this area, and we were to locate it. As we came in, I looked out of the window and saw the remains of a city, smashed up badly by weapons fire. Khartoum, the former Sudanese capital, now a massive wasteland, with wrecked buildings poking up. We├óÔé¼Ôäód be heading in there first to establish a field base. From there, we├óÔé¼Ôäód go by the standard search and rescue mission profile├óÔé¼┬ª
We began by attacking the edge of the city, trying to locate a weak point in the defences. The enemy was spread out, but we eventually located an area they had failed to defend properly, and, with full force, smashed through the wall and into the city itself.
I saw Recon 1, the other force that had deployed with our platoon, take off across the landscape. As their orders were to locate an open landing zone for the rest of the force, and to disable to the air defences, it wasn├óÔé¼Ôäót a surprise, just another expected point in the battle. Raising my rifle, I shot an enemy in the face as he ran at me, and he went down. Another hit my rifle with an axe, and threw me backwards. As he prepared to swing his blade at me again, to cleave me in 2, he was hit by a burst of fire, and I rolled over to see Appleton, our heavy weapons specialist, grinning at me with his SAW M129 on his shoulder. He reached down and pulled me back up, and handed me a rifle he├óÔé¼Ôäód taken from one of the enemy soldiers he├óÔé¼Ôäód killed.
I wasn├óÔé¼Ôäót sure what was happening when we got further into town. I could hear the sounds of combat, but no matter how quickly we advanced, we never seemed to find the enemy. Dead bodies, plenty, but it was as if the enemy had melted away. We found Recon 1 in the park, waiting for a drop ship. They were as confused as we were, and we agreed that no man should go out alone and radio contact should be maintained at all times. I ended up pairing up with Appleton again, and the 2 of us were told to try and scout our way to the large tower to the east. I suspected it was a surviving minaret, and the sergeant had given me a sniper rifle, so if we got up the top, I├óÔé¼Ôäód be able to see whatever was going on for quite a long way around├óÔé¼┬ª
├óÔé¼┼ôHey, Harry?├óÔé¼┬Ø Appleton asked me, as we clambered the stairs.
├óÔé¼┼ôYeah?├óÔé¼┬Ø I replied, a little out of breath.
├óÔé¼┼ôWouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót the enemy think the same thing we did, and come up here?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ô├óÔé¼┬ª Yeah. You better get that machinegun ready, just in case.├óÔé¼┬Ø I ordered, checking the sniper rifle was loaded.
We reached the tower top, and Appleton had been right, the enemy had thought the same way├óÔé¼┬ª however, this guy wouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót do any more thinking├óÔé¼┬ª the scars crisscrossing his body told us that much├óÔé¼┬ª
We├óÔé¼Ôäód been deployed to an area just inside the former nation of Sudan. Supposedly, a fragment of the station the Reliant had been fighting had crashed into this area, and we were to locate it. As we came in, I looked out of the window and saw the remains of a city, smashed up badly by weapons fire. Khartoum, the former Sudanese capital, now a massive wasteland, with wrecked buildings poking up. We├óÔé¼Ôäód be heading in there first to establish a field base. From there, we├óÔé¼Ôäód go by the standard search and rescue mission profile├óÔé¼┬ª
We began by attacking the edge of the city, trying to locate a weak point in the defences. The enemy was spread out, but we eventually located an area they had failed to defend properly, and, with full force, smashed through the wall and into the city itself.
I saw Recon 1, the other force that had deployed with our platoon, take off across the landscape. As their orders were to locate an open landing zone for the rest of the force, and to disable to the air defences, it wasn├óÔé¼Ôäót a surprise, just another expected point in the battle. Raising my rifle, I shot an enemy in the face as he ran at me, and he went down. Another hit my rifle with an axe, and threw me backwards. As he prepared to swing his blade at me again, to cleave me in 2, he was hit by a burst of fire, and I rolled over to see Appleton, our heavy weapons specialist, grinning at me with his SAW M129 on his shoulder. He reached down and pulled me back up, and handed me a rifle he├óÔé¼Ôäód taken from one of the enemy soldiers he├óÔé¼Ôäód killed.
I wasn├óÔé¼Ôäót sure what was happening when we got further into town. I could hear the sounds of combat, but no matter how quickly we advanced, we never seemed to find the enemy. Dead bodies, plenty, but it was as if the enemy had melted away. We found Recon 1 in the park, waiting for a drop ship. They were as confused as we were, and we agreed that no man should go out alone and radio contact should be maintained at all times. I ended up pairing up with Appleton again, and the 2 of us were told to try and scout our way to the large tower to the east. I suspected it was a surviving minaret, and the sergeant had given me a sniper rifle, so if we got up the top, I├óÔé¼Ôäód be able to see whatever was going on for quite a long way around├óÔé¼┬ª
├óÔé¼┼ôHey, Harry?├óÔé¼┬Ø Appleton asked me, as we clambered the stairs.
├óÔé¼┼ôYeah?├óÔé¼┬Ø I replied, a little out of breath.
├óÔé¼┼ôWouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót the enemy think the same thing we did, and come up here?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ô├óÔé¼┬ª Yeah. You better get that machinegun ready, just in case.├óÔé¼┬Ø I ordered, checking the sniper rifle was loaded.
We reached the tower top, and Appleton had been right, the enemy had thought the same way├óÔé¼┬ª however, this guy wouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót do any more thinking├óÔé¼┬ª the scars crisscrossing his body told us that much├óÔé¼┬ª