Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
new
space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was
included in
the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches
during system initialization, where it monitors all other system
activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and
Saturday
Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
run
some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back
to
Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.
Can you please help me?
Signed:
A Troubled User
Dear Troubled User,
This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to
a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run
everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert
back
to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would
cause
Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible
to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
not
designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more
problems than the original system. Look in your manual under
"Warnings-
Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with
the
situation.
I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to
alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I
might
also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership
Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and
problems
that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action
will
be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use
of
C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE
command
before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run
smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider
buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I
recommend
Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install
Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application
for
Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating
system.
Best of Luck,
Tech Support
i have just over laughted myself
