How to fail @ Spring

[KingRaptor]

Replay ^.^

In case you can't be bothered to watch it, here's the synopsis:
2v2 on Small Supreme Battlefield V2. Based on previous experience playing with these guys, I calculate (correctly) that they will porc, and do quick expansion and fast tech with only minimal defenses (the only things I had on the front were a DT line and two LLTs).
I dash up the east entrance of the north landmass with only my commander, and find no resistance whatsoever. Asskicking follows (even though my commander couldn't really fight because I was E stalling very badly), and then the host ragequits

The convo that follows is where it gets really funny:
(included in the download, but I've posted it below for your convenience)

Logging started on Thu Apr 26 11:15:33 2007
[11:15:33 AM] <abraxus2> u suck dude
[11:15:42 AM] <KingRaptor> gotta love ragequitters ^.^
[11:16:06 AM] <KingRaptor> some people can't stand "cheap tactics"
[11:16:19 AM] <KingRaptor> cheap tactics being "anything that makes them lose" ^.^
[11:17:07 AM] <KingRaptor> really, all I did was send my com up there
[11:17:38 AM] <KingRaptor> and I happened to be E stalling really badly at that moment, one Flash could've kicked my ass

Logging started on Thu Apr 26 12:02:04 2007
[12:02:04 PM] <abraxus2> yeah you ruined the game dude. you were up against us, premier players, and we wouldve owned you cause having ur commander up meant sucking at your home base. you wouldve been raped. its boring to play like that
[12:02:13 PM] <abraxus2> learn how to play
[12:02:59 PM] <KingRaptor> "would" is such an overused word
[12:03:02 PM] <KingRaptor> "is" is what matters
[12:05:56 PM] <abraxus2> dude, youre the type of player thats boring to play against, cause noticed you stalled and my attack would killed your base cause youre commander wasnt there to help build fast
[12:06:31 PM] <KingRaptor> lol attack?
[12:06:33 PM] <abraxus2> stop building LLTs!
[12:06:35 PM] <abraxus2> loser
[12:06:40 PM] <KingRaptor> is that what the double layer DT was for?
[12:06:58 PM] <abraxus2> plz, there was no way you were getting in my base
[12:07:53 PM] <KingRaptor> Really, I think you're the one you needs to learn how to play the game.
[12:08:04 PM] <abraxus2> why? cause i used dts?
[12:08:09 PM] <abraxus2> dts are good
[12:08:30 PM] <KingRaptor> no
[12:08:34 PM] <KingRaptor> because you complained
[12:08:48 PM] <abraxus2> ?
[12:09:37 PM] <KingRaptor> <abraxus2> u suck dude
[12:09:45 PM] <KingRaptor> <abraxus2> yeah you ruined the game dude.
[12:09:59 PM] <KingRaptor> sounds like complaining to me ├âÔÇÜ├é┬¼_├âÔÇÜ├é┬¼
[12:10:22 PM] <abraxus2> no i was insulting you
[12:10:52 PM] <KingRaptor> Really? Because you failed at it.
[12:11:22 PM] <abraxus2> k
[12:11:25 PM] <abraxus2> i dont care
[12:11:42 PM] <KingRaptor> I'm not going to flame you, just giving some helpful advice
[12:11:53 PM] <abraxus2> helpful? what have said?
[12:11:56 PM] <KingRaptor> There are other ways into the enemy's base on SSB besides the central landmass, as I demonstrated
[12:12:10 PM] <KingRaptor> it could have been a squad of hovertanks or amphibs
[12:12:37 PM] <abraxus2> omg dude. you suck.
[12:12:42 PM] <abraxus2> getting in doesnt matter
[12:12:45 PM] <abraxus2> its killing shit
[12:12:45 PM] <KingRaptor> and I was planning on teching to Penetrators and blowing away your frontal defence
[12:12:56 PM] <abraxus2> lol plz
[12:13:01 PM] <KingRaptor> turns out I didn't need it because the host ragequitted.
[12:14:07 PM] <KingRaptor> We both made gambles, you by going air, I by expanding and teching rapidly without adequate defences.
[12:14:17 PM] <KingRaptor> I correctly calculated that you two would porc
[12:14:24 PM] <abraxus2> lol see you suck dude. i did not go air.
[12:14:35 PM] <KingRaptor> end result: I won, you lost. No need to get uptight over it, it was just one match.
[12:14:42 PM] <KingRaptor> Your teammate did
[12:14:45 PM] <abraxus2> how did you win?
[12:14:49 PM] <abraxus2> no he didnt go air
[12:14:53 PM] <abraxus2> he was stealing your metal
[12:15:14 PM] <KingRaptor> lol?
[12:15:52 PM] <abraxus2> yeah
[12:15:54 PM] <abraxus2> stealing
[12:15:59 PM] <abraxus2> the patches
[12:16:01 PM] <abraxus2> on the map
[12:16:44 PM] <abraxus2> dude thats the point of being a porc. it doesnt matter if u know we are porcing. we'll kill you anyways
[12:18:50 PM] <KingRaptor> rofl
[12:19:00 PM] <KingRaptor> Porc to win is an oxymoron, unless you do it right
[12:19:04 PM] <KingRaptor> which neither of you did
[12:19:33 PM] <abraxus2> we've never lost on that map and have played way better players than you
[12:19:42 PM] <KingRaptor> o rly?
[12:19:59 PM] <abraxus2> you obviously do not know how to porc if you think you cant win at it
[12:20:05 PM] <abraxus2> plz dude
[12:20:21 PM] <KingRaptor> Unless you've beaten LCC or WarC or one of the other pro clans on SSB, don't talk to me about "way better players" than me.
[12:20:47 PM] <KingRaptor> In fact, I'm tempted to set up a game with you against them.
[12:20:50 PM] <abraxus2> why would i have to do that in order to gauge that you suck?
[12:20:53 PM] <abraxus2> its obvious
[12:21:05 PM] <KingRaptor> rofl
[12:21:16 PM] <KingRaptor> this isn't about me, this is about you claiming to be skilled
[12:21:34 PM] <abraxus2> no, im not claiming to be skilled, im claiming to be better than you
[12:21:55 PM] <KingRaptor> Is that why you lost?
[12:22:01 PM] <abraxus2> didnt lose wtf
[12:22:19 PM] <KingRaptor> Ragequit = lose
[12:22:19 PM] <KingRaptor> gg
[12:22:34 PM] <abraxus2> we quit cause we didnt want to play with you. dude youre not getting it. its boring playiing with people who do your tactics cause we kill them easily afterwards
[12:23:20 PM] <KingRaptor> Haha, yeah right.
[12:23:30 PM] <KingRaptor> I am so posting the replay and our convo on the forums ^.^
[12:23:42 PM] <abraxus2> ok fine
[12:24:28 PM] <abraxus2> do it right now
[12:24:30 PM] <abraxus2> go
[12:24:31 PM] <abraxus2> go
[12:24:37 PM] <KingRaptor> very well then
[12:24:44 PM] <abraxus2> hurry
[12:25:19 PM] <KingRaptor> I'll let you know when I'm done
[12:25:28 PM] <abraxus2> im not gonna look
[12:25:30 PM] <abraxus2> cya

GG

[Fanger]

Eh you avatar is the whaleshark missile submarine... but why...

[KingRaptor]

Eh you avatar is the whaleshark missile submarine... but why...

Because it's sexy.
And it's the only Spring unit of its kind.

[Forboding Angel]

I've got a fix for you...

Play Fun:TA - lack of porc is nice.
Play EE - What's porcing?

[KDR_11k]

Play Gundam - D-fens? Moar liek SATISFYING CRUNCH!

[Ishach]

porcing isnt inherently a failing strategy, its just that it is commonly done without being a part of a structured strategy for winning.

I recall even 1v1 CC players who had a porc style that worked quite well, and it worked for them because they used it as a means to win, not just for the sake of it.

[ralphie]

I've won my last two games on small supreme by porc creeping along the isthmus, just incrementally spamming lasers and the odd guardian, backed up by absurd amounts of nanos and the odd jammer.

Admittedly I wasn't facing brilliant opposition, but it's possible

[drolito]

It's always the same : decide to pork at beginning is stupid ... the only thing is to porc if the situation need it ...

[Lolsquad_Steven]

wtf no rush

[AF]

You cant crawl along the isthmus with towers without sea support or the defences will just get obliterated.

These 2 people are a menace. I tried playing with them for fun, I was given a total noob as an ally so I thought they'd play it nice, so they went all out on the noob and I spent most fo my game defending both of us in my half sleepy state. When it became clear that simple tactics like sending in aks against hlt's werent gonna work they resorted to nukers and carpet nuked my ally and sent a swarm of brawlers through what was left of his base.

They then proceeded to hurl insult and claim they pwned me at my best and that theyd never been beaten. The title of premier player can only be given to a good star rank player and that is not what these people were.

However I know look forward to pwning them with a good ally and a proper state of mind.

imo ragequitting is a loose, because they're forfeiting, surrendering. giving up, yielding to the enemys will.

[Day]

GRUDGE MATCH!!!!!!!!

[drolito]

These 2 people are a menace.

u speak about whose players ??? king raptor and abbrax2 ???

[KingRaptor]

These 2 people are a menace.

u speak about whose players ??? king raptor and abbrax2 ???

My guess not.

*checks replay*
abraxus2 has an accomplice named afnafn.
So guys, if you ever play against them, administer some beatings on my behalf

[drolito]

i prefere that ... cause i know your not a bad player ^^

[LordMatt]

Really, you were far too nice to those guys IMO. If they're going to be ragequitting and insulting douchebags just smurf their games and beat them in ever more embarassing ways. Or don't play with them or talk to them at all.

[Foxomaniac]

LordPhail fails @ being lulzy.

Whenever you run into that kind of ragequitters, you should play them under different names, annoy the hell out of them until they leave lobby :).

Be merry, be naughty, be an asshole today!

[1v0ry_k1ng]

you use an example of a porcy game on supreme chokepoint. even good players porc that map. try avoiding maps such as delta seige, supcom, tangerine, altored divide and suddenly zomg! people are forced to use tactics and... units!

[Pxtl]

you use an example of a porcy game on supreme chokepoint. even good players porc that map. try avoiding maps such as delta seige, supcom, tangerine, altored divide and suddenly zomg! people are forced to use tactics and... units!

Supreme isn't too bad a chokepoint map since the metal-in-water-version. The oceans are big open resource-fields to claim, and unporcable - so a porcer will be trapped in such a small area that the naval player can crush him under the weight of his econ.

[Neddie]

Naval is always a losing move. Always.

[RogerN]

Porcing is similar to all other tactics in that sometimes it's a good idea and sometimes it's a bad idea. If you apply the tactic in the wrong situation then you'll probably lose.

However, unlike most other tactics porcing is obvious to almost all players. The first idea that pops into a newbie's head when viewing the build menu for the first time is "MOER DFENS = WIN!" Thus the tactic is overused and frequently applied incorrectly.

And it's always a good idea to build some defense. In BA, at least, the defensive structures are too cost-efficient to ignore completely. But where is the line between light defense, moderate defense, and total porcery?

You might be a porcupine if:

1. Your LLTs outnumber your mexes by a margin of 10 to 1.

2. Your ally asks for assistance and you realize you have zero mobile attack units.

3. Your construction units routinely get stuck behind their own walls of dragon's teeth

4. Level 1 units = fail!

5. You just need one more Annihilator to be safe. Followed by another flakker. And another anti-nuke. And a couple guardians, followed by a plasma deflector (can't be too careful you know!). And seismic detectors. Oh crap, I forgot a radar jammer and some...