Soelis
Moderator: Moderators
- Guessmyname
- Posts: 3301
- Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 21:07
Boo.
The mood was tense. The four of them were looking out two blown-out windows. The tanks were rumbling along incredibly slowly, the conscripts walking alongside them. The lead tank approached the rubble bottleneck. Baska raised his hand in a silent order for Kelko to prepare to fire. She pressed her eye against the gunsight, laying the crosshair on the treads. Seski and Brandy both raised their rifles, preparing to open fire as soon as Kelko did. Poised, they waited for Baska├óÔé¼Ôäós command.
On the roof, a man materialised out of nowhere, his features obscured a long, draping black cloak. He had a long, exquisitely crafted rifle, and he had it dead set on the GHE conscripts below. The Conscripts, constantly on the jump, saw him almost instantly. They raised their rifles, but his was already aimed. He opened fire, and the rifle started spewing out las bolts, which blew apart the conscripts apart when they hit. It was a roar of noise that happened so suddenly that it made Kelko jump and fire by accident. The rocket shot out of the launcher and blew out the left track of the lead tank, which came to a rather abrupt halt.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat the fu- Who├óÔé¼Ôäós firing? Who├óÔé¼Ôäós firing?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôNot us!├óÔé¼┬Ø Called Brandy and Seski. The GHE Conscripts, seeing where the rocket came from, opened fire on their position. Brandy swore loudly, and He and Seski opened fire. Baska, who had the sense to see the danger, moved to the door. GHE conscripts burst in, and Baska smashed the first one├óÔé¼Ôäós skull with his pistol but. He ducked and swerved out of the way of the other GHEs, who opened fire. Seski fired back at them, dropping two. The other three leapt back into the corridor and shot their entire clips into the room through the doorway, hitting no-one. As they hurriedly tried to reload, Baska calmly moved to the doorway and shot them all in the head.
├óÔé¼┼ôWe need to move. Now!├óÔé¼┬Ø He called to the other three.
├óÔé¼┼ôNo arguments from me!├óÔé¼┬Ø Seski called back, and tapped Kelko and Brandy on the shoulder. ├óÔé¼┼ôCome on!├óÔé¼┬Ø
They followed Baska as he ran out into the hallway.
And now the four would be running away as fast as they could. The cloaked man, having cut down about 22, raised his rifle, letting its barrel cool. He switched powerpacks and leapt off the roof onto the building opposite, straight over the tank column, GHE fire following him all the way.
Seski saw him and paused in complete surprise. Then Brandy ran into him by accident and they both fell down the stairs, tripping Kelko and Baska on the way down. They four ended up in a tangled pile at the ground floor. Groaning, they untangled themselves and got to their feet groggily. GHE Conscripts burst in, the lead attacker wielding a sword. Brandy was quick enough to raise his rifle to block it. The sword sliced halfway into the rifle before it stuck fast. Brandy kicked his assailant hard in the groin, then pushed his rifle, sword and all, into his face, killing him instantly. Baska shot three with his pistol. Seski side-stepped the guy rushing him causing him to dive straight into the wall. Seski raised his rifle and fired a burst into the man, who went limp. Kelko bashed one around the head, using her AT launcher as an improvised club. The two remaining GHEs fell back, but Baska shot them both as they ran.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat the hell Seski?!├óÔé¼┬Ø Demanded Brandy.
├óÔé¼┼ôI saw something!├óÔé¼┬Ø Seski replied
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat?├óÔé¼┬Ø
Bullets smashed into the wall, missing the heads by several centimetres.
├óÔé¼┼ôNever mind!├óÔé¼┬Ø
They both returned fire.
Sheepshit had pulled his helmet over his head to help him sleep. It wasn├óÔé¼Ôäót helping. The GHE tanks were almost certain to break past the AT teams ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ long story short, S. L. Tostin had the tactical abilities of burnt roadkill ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ and reach their defensive line any minute, so Sheepshit probably shouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót have been sleeping anyway. He gave up trying and got up. He├óÔé¼Ôäód dragged the unconscious guy under the rubble, only to find that he├óÔé¼Ôäód died.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhere are they?├óÔé¼┬Ø asked one of the newer riflemen
├óÔé¼┼ôThe AT teams are at their positions, the GHEs are at the AT teams positions, probably, and the 3rd Air Cav will be here in... Tallin ETA 3rd Air Cav!├óÔé¼┬Ø Sheepshit called
├óÔé¼┼ô15 minutes├óÔé¼┬Ø Tallin shouted back. Tallin was a radio guy. They actually had three, but Tallin was the only one with a still-working radio pack.
├óÔé¼┼ôHappy now?├óÔé¼┬Ø Sheepshit asked the other guy
├óÔé¼┼ôNo├óÔé¼┬Ø he replied bluntly.
Sheepshit just smiled, laid back down and put his helmet over his eyes again.
The mood was tense. The four of them were looking out two blown-out windows. The tanks were rumbling along incredibly slowly, the conscripts walking alongside them. The lead tank approached the rubble bottleneck. Baska raised his hand in a silent order for Kelko to prepare to fire. She pressed her eye against the gunsight, laying the crosshair on the treads. Seski and Brandy both raised their rifles, preparing to open fire as soon as Kelko did. Poised, they waited for Baska├óÔé¼Ôäós command.
On the roof, a man materialised out of nowhere, his features obscured a long, draping black cloak. He had a long, exquisitely crafted rifle, and he had it dead set on the GHE conscripts below. The Conscripts, constantly on the jump, saw him almost instantly. They raised their rifles, but his was already aimed. He opened fire, and the rifle started spewing out las bolts, which blew apart the conscripts apart when they hit. It was a roar of noise that happened so suddenly that it made Kelko jump and fire by accident. The rocket shot out of the launcher and blew out the left track of the lead tank, which came to a rather abrupt halt.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat the fu- Who├óÔé¼Ôäós firing? Who├óÔé¼Ôäós firing?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôNot us!├óÔé¼┬Ø Called Brandy and Seski. The GHE Conscripts, seeing where the rocket came from, opened fire on their position. Brandy swore loudly, and He and Seski opened fire. Baska, who had the sense to see the danger, moved to the door. GHE conscripts burst in, and Baska smashed the first one├óÔé¼Ôäós skull with his pistol but. He ducked and swerved out of the way of the other GHEs, who opened fire. Seski fired back at them, dropping two. The other three leapt back into the corridor and shot their entire clips into the room through the doorway, hitting no-one. As they hurriedly tried to reload, Baska calmly moved to the doorway and shot them all in the head.
├óÔé¼┼ôWe need to move. Now!├óÔé¼┬Ø He called to the other three.
├óÔé¼┼ôNo arguments from me!├óÔé¼┬Ø Seski called back, and tapped Kelko and Brandy on the shoulder. ├óÔé¼┼ôCome on!├óÔé¼┬Ø
They followed Baska as he ran out into the hallway.
And now the four would be running away as fast as they could. The cloaked man, having cut down about 22, raised his rifle, letting its barrel cool. He switched powerpacks and leapt off the roof onto the building opposite, straight over the tank column, GHE fire following him all the way.
Seski saw him and paused in complete surprise. Then Brandy ran into him by accident and they both fell down the stairs, tripping Kelko and Baska on the way down. They four ended up in a tangled pile at the ground floor. Groaning, they untangled themselves and got to their feet groggily. GHE Conscripts burst in, the lead attacker wielding a sword. Brandy was quick enough to raise his rifle to block it. The sword sliced halfway into the rifle before it stuck fast. Brandy kicked his assailant hard in the groin, then pushed his rifle, sword and all, into his face, killing him instantly. Baska shot three with his pistol. Seski side-stepped the guy rushing him causing him to dive straight into the wall. Seski raised his rifle and fired a burst into the man, who went limp. Kelko bashed one around the head, using her AT launcher as an improvised club. The two remaining GHEs fell back, but Baska shot them both as they ran.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat the hell Seski?!├óÔé¼┬Ø Demanded Brandy.
├óÔé¼┼ôI saw something!├óÔé¼┬Ø Seski replied
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat?├óÔé¼┬Ø
Bullets smashed into the wall, missing the heads by several centimetres.
├óÔé¼┼ôNever mind!├óÔé¼┬Ø
They both returned fire.
Sheepshit had pulled his helmet over his head to help him sleep. It wasn├óÔé¼Ôäót helping. The GHE tanks were almost certain to break past the AT teams ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ long story short, S. L. Tostin had the tactical abilities of burnt roadkill ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ and reach their defensive line any minute, so Sheepshit probably shouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót have been sleeping anyway. He gave up trying and got up. He├óÔé¼Ôäód dragged the unconscious guy under the rubble, only to find that he├óÔé¼Ôäód died.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhere are they?├óÔé¼┬Ø asked one of the newer riflemen
├óÔé¼┼ôThe AT teams are at their positions, the GHEs are at the AT teams positions, probably, and the 3rd Air Cav will be here in... Tallin ETA 3rd Air Cav!├óÔé¼┬Ø Sheepshit called
├óÔé¼┼ô15 minutes├óÔé¼┬Ø Tallin shouted back. Tallin was a radio guy. They actually had three, but Tallin was the only one with a still-working radio pack.
├óÔé¼┼ôHappy now?├óÔé¼┬Ø Sheepshit asked the other guy
├óÔé¼┼ôNo├óÔé¼┬Ø he replied bluntly.
Sheepshit just smiled, laid back down and put his helmet over his eyes again.
- Guessmyname
- Posts: 3301
- Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 21:07
The Conscripts were in chaos, and understandably so. Las bolts continued to spew from the cloaked man├óÔé¼Ôäós gun, now mostly for effect, to make the conscripts panic and run. He had to watch his targets too. Not all the conscripts were expendable. One in particular was being herded straight into the PsyCore infantry down below. If the conscript tried to turn right, he aimed to the right. If the conscript tried to turn left he aimed for the left. The conscript had no choice. He was entering that building.
Baska had taken point, darting between piles of rubble. He was on full automatic now, shooting at everyone and everything that didn├óÔé¼Ôäót have the standard black-on-white PsyCore urban armour. One conscript nearly ran straight into him. He (the conscript) raised his rifle. Baska, thinking the guy has about to strike him with a rifle but, shot him through the gut. The conscripts fell back and toppled.
That was close. The pistol guy hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót shot his conscript, but that one was about to surrender to them too. He couldn├óÔé¼Ôäót afford to take any chances. His conscript had to survive, and he had to surrender himself to that AT team. He couldn├óÔé¼Ôäót allow the pistol guy to shoot him too. He took aim, then paused. Was the pistol guy expendable? Would his death alter the timeline? The cloaked sniper racked his brains for information. Baska Pedaniva. PsyCore Combat Infantry division 449. Born on Lith. Signed up at 17. Transferred to the Soelis front eight weeks ago. Gets married five years later. Two children...
No. He had affect on the timeline. He took aim again.
Seski saw the movement, and opened fire on the sniper. He hit him twice in the chest, knocking him over backwards. The sniper got back up rather groggily. He should have been dead!
This wasn├óÔé¼Ôäót good.
├óÔé¼┼ôBaska! Run├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSniper on the rooftop. Run!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Oh darn. That rifleman was a damned good shot. Fortunately, his armour was damned good too. The bullets had exploded on his chest plate. It hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót broken through it, but they├óÔé¼Ôäód hit hard enough to have broken at least a few ribs by force of impact. He├óÔé¼Ôäód have fired back but his shooter may not have been expendable to the timeline. He hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót been able to make out his face and so he could not return fire. Guarding a timeline was a damn difficult business. He aimed his rifle again
Seski scampered over rubble and corpse to reach Baska in time. He dived, knocking Baska to floor just before a las bolt crackled through the space Baska had been standing. He jumped to his feet and threw Baska through a nearby window. He fired a few rounds into some conscripts who were getting a little close and dived through the window himself.
The sniper was angry now. He├óÔé¼Ôäód identified the rifleman who shot him earlier, and it was his identity that was making him angry. This was the problem: the rifleman Seski Taltan was mission critical, but he was keeping a dangerous threat to the timeline alive. He never thought he├óÔé¼Ôäód think this, but the las rifle was too powerful. He couldn├óÔé¼Ôäót just shoot Seski in the leg and leave him incapacitated whilst he dealt with Baska. Aw screw it. He jumped down from the roof, shot some conscripts and followed Seski through the window.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhere├óÔé¼Ôäós Seski?├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy asked suddenly.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat?├óÔé¼┬Ø Kelko called back. She├óÔé¼Ôäód abandoned her launcher and was now shooting people with Brandy├óÔé¼Ôäós spare pistol. Her own had jammed.
├óÔé¼┼ôI said ├óÔé¼╦£Where├óÔé¼Ôäós Seski?├óÔé¼Ôäó ├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy shouted back
├óÔé¼┼ôUhh... I don├óÔé¼Ôäót know!├óÔé¼┬Ø Kelko shouted back. He ducked away from the window and reloaded the pistol. ├óÔé¼┼ôBaska, where├óÔé¼Ôäós Seski?├óÔé¼┬Ø
There was no reply
├óÔé¼┼ôBaska?├óÔé¼┬Ø She called
├óÔé¼┼ôAw crap├óÔé¼┬Ø observed Brandy soberly. No reply probably meant that the pair were dead.
├óÔé¼┼ôTime to leave?├óÔé¼┬Ø Kelko asked
Brandy nodded. The pair sneaked out a back door and started heading back to their lines as quietly as they could. Then Brandy stopped suddenly. Something was amiss.
├óÔé¼┼ôKelko wait!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat is it?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôIf Baska and Seski are dead, who├óÔé¼Ôäós shooting up the conscripts?├óÔé¼┬Ø
Kelko turned back horrified to where they had just come, then scampered back to the battle with Brandy close behind.
EDIT: Does anyone actually read this, other than Zoombie? Not getting any comments is rather disheartening...
Baska had taken point, darting between piles of rubble. He was on full automatic now, shooting at everyone and everything that didn├óÔé¼Ôäót have the standard black-on-white PsyCore urban armour. One conscript nearly ran straight into him. He (the conscript) raised his rifle. Baska, thinking the guy has about to strike him with a rifle but, shot him through the gut. The conscripts fell back and toppled.
That was close. The pistol guy hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót shot his conscript, but that one was about to surrender to them too. He couldn├óÔé¼Ôäót afford to take any chances. His conscript had to survive, and he had to surrender himself to that AT team. He couldn├óÔé¼Ôäót allow the pistol guy to shoot him too. He took aim, then paused. Was the pistol guy expendable? Would his death alter the timeline? The cloaked sniper racked his brains for information. Baska Pedaniva. PsyCore Combat Infantry division 449. Born on Lith. Signed up at 17. Transferred to the Soelis front eight weeks ago. Gets married five years later. Two children...
No. He had affect on the timeline. He took aim again.
Seski saw the movement, and opened fire on the sniper. He hit him twice in the chest, knocking him over backwards. The sniper got back up rather groggily. He should have been dead!
This wasn├óÔé¼Ôäót good.
├óÔé¼┼ôBaska! Run├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSniper on the rooftop. Run!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Oh darn. That rifleman was a damned good shot. Fortunately, his armour was damned good too. The bullets had exploded on his chest plate. It hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót broken through it, but they├óÔé¼Ôäód hit hard enough to have broken at least a few ribs by force of impact. He├óÔé¼Ôäód have fired back but his shooter may not have been expendable to the timeline. He hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót been able to make out his face and so he could not return fire. Guarding a timeline was a damn difficult business. He aimed his rifle again
Seski scampered over rubble and corpse to reach Baska in time. He dived, knocking Baska to floor just before a las bolt crackled through the space Baska had been standing. He jumped to his feet and threw Baska through a nearby window. He fired a few rounds into some conscripts who were getting a little close and dived through the window himself.
The sniper was angry now. He├óÔé¼Ôäód identified the rifleman who shot him earlier, and it was his identity that was making him angry. This was the problem: the rifleman Seski Taltan was mission critical, but he was keeping a dangerous threat to the timeline alive. He never thought he├óÔé¼Ôäód think this, but the las rifle was too powerful. He couldn├óÔé¼Ôäót just shoot Seski in the leg and leave him incapacitated whilst he dealt with Baska. Aw screw it. He jumped down from the roof, shot some conscripts and followed Seski through the window.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhere├óÔé¼Ôäós Seski?├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy asked suddenly.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat?├óÔé¼┬Ø Kelko called back. She├óÔé¼Ôäód abandoned her launcher and was now shooting people with Brandy├óÔé¼Ôäós spare pistol. Her own had jammed.
├óÔé¼┼ôI said ├óÔé¼╦£Where├óÔé¼Ôäós Seski?├óÔé¼Ôäó ├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy shouted back
├óÔé¼┼ôUhh... I don├óÔé¼Ôäót know!├óÔé¼┬Ø Kelko shouted back. He ducked away from the window and reloaded the pistol. ├óÔé¼┼ôBaska, where├óÔé¼Ôäós Seski?├óÔé¼┬Ø
There was no reply
├óÔé¼┼ôBaska?├óÔé¼┬Ø She called
├óÔé¼┼ôAw crap├óÔé¼┬Ø observed Brandy soberly. No reply probably meant that the pair were dead.
├óÔé¼┼ôTime to leave?├óÔé¼┬Ø Kelko asked
Brandy nodded. The pair sneaked out a back door and started heading back to their lines as quietly as they could. Then Brandy stopped suddenly. Something was amiss.
├óÔé¼┼ôKelko wait!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat is it?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôIf Baska and Seski are dead, who├óÔé¼Ôäós shooting up the conscripts?├óÔé¼┬Ø
Kelko turned back horrified to where they had just come, then scampered back to the battle with Brandy close behind.
EDIT: Does anyone actually read this, other than Zoombie? Not getting any comments is rather disheartening...
- Guessmyname
- Posts: 3301
- Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 21:07
The word document I'm writing this in is currently at 11 pages. I think it's going to be a tad too long for my English Original Writing essay type thing.
The sniper (having just dived through the window) hit the ground and rolled. Room Empty. He kicked down a nearby door and nearly broke his foot on the wall ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ the door lead into a very small paper closet. Cursing, he kicked the other door in the room. His foot went straight through it. Cursing some more, he realised the door opened inwards. He pulled on the handle and whipped the door open angrily. Seski grabbed him by the collar, yanked him out into the hallway, smashed him against the wall and put his rifle up against his chin.
├óÔé¼┼ôHi.├óÔé¼┬Ø He said coldly.
The sniper grinned, and activated his cloaking device, disappearing completely, catching Seski completely by surprise. The sniper used this to his advantage and kicked him hard in the crotch and batted his rifle away. He pushed Seski into the wall opposite, and he slid to the floor writhing. The sniper deactivated the cloaking device so that it could recharge, and looked around for Baska.
Then Seski shot him.
Brandy ran through the building, shooting several conscripts (who were still running around like headless chickens, the idiots) on the way. Kelko was somewhere behind him. He turned around to try and see where she had gone.
├óÔé¼┼ôKelko?├óÔé¼┬Ø He called.
The reply was rather muffled, and Brandy backtracked a little. Kelko was pinned under a large pile of rubble.
├óÔé¼┼ôWha-├óÔé¼┼ô
├óÔé¼┼ôRPG├óÔé¼┬Ø Kelko interjected
├óÔé¼┼ôAn RPG did this?├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy replied in wonder
├óÔé¼┼ôFine, three├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôYou failed to notice three incoming RPGs...├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôShut up and help me out of here├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôYou still got my pistol?├óÔé¼┬Ø
Kelko looked at him angrily. ├óÔé¼┼ôGuess├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy sighed and pulled her out until she got stuck. Then he moved a large girder and she came free.
├óÔé¼┼ôTha ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ Shit! Behind you!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy spun around and levelled his rifle at the conscript behind him.
├óÔé¼┼ôNo don├óÔé¼Ôäót shoot!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy didn├óÔé¼Ôäót shoot, but didn├óÔé¼Ôäót lower his rifle either. The conscript had his hands in the air.
├óÔé¼┼ôDon├óÔé¼Ôäót shoot! I surrender! Don├óÔé¼Ôäót shoot!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy pulled the conscript├óÔé¼Ôäós pistol from its holster and threw it to Kelko. Then he dragged the conscript to an open doorway and kicked him out. Whilst they did get bonus pay for capturing an enemy soldier, this was hardly an appropriate time to be taking prisoners.
Seski had blown out his knee cap. The sniper wouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót be going anywhere soon. The sniper had fallen to the ground and was grasping at his wounded knee. Seski had got him right in the knee joint. What made it worse was that the bullet had, in the manner of Blast weapons, exploded, leaving the bastard├óÔé¼Ôäós lower leg attached by a small bit of bloody tissue. Speaking of bloody tissue, bit of knee was now splattered all over the place. He kept his gun on him in case he turned invisible again. Who the fuck was this guy?
Baska entered the hallway, weapons aimed, and kicked the sniper├óÔé¼Ôäós gun away into a nearby room. He then crouched down in front of the sniper, who seemed to be watching him with cold fury despite it being Seski who blew off his kneecap. Baska levelled one of his pistols at the sniper├óÔé¼Ôäós forehead.
├óÔé¼┼ôGive me three good reasons not to put a bullet in your head.├óÔé¼┬Ø
------------------------------------------------
Production Notes
Yup, Psychasi blast weapons are damned nasty
Yes the sniper has survived having two broken ribs, jumping through a window and having his leg shot off.
EDIT: Oh shit forgot to format it!
*formats*
EDIT: Formatting complete
The sniper (having just dived through the window) hit the ground and rolled. Room Empty. He kicked down a nearby door and nearly broke his foot on the wall ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ the door lead into a very small paper closet. Cursing, he kicked the other door in the room. His foot went straight through it. Cursing some more, he realised the door opened inwards. He pulled on the handle and whipped the door open angrily. Seski grabbed him by the collar, yanked him out into the hallway, smashed him against the wall and put his rifle up against his chin.
├óÔé¼┼ôHi.├óÔé¼┬Ø He said coldly.
The sniper grinned, and activated his cloaking device, disappearing completely, catching Seski completely by surprise. The sniper used this to his advantage and kicked him hard in the crotch and batted his rifle away. He pushed Seski into the wall opposite, and he slid to the floor writhing. The sniper deactivated the cloaking device so that it could recharge, and looked around for Baska.
Then Seski shot him.
Brandy ran through the building, shooting several conscripts (who were still running around like headless chickens, the idiots) on the way. Kelko was somewhere behind him. He turned around to try and see where she had gone.
├óÔé¼┼ôKelko?├óÔé¼┬Ø He called.
The reply was rather muffled, and Brandy backtracked a little. Kelko was pinned under a large pile of rubble.
├óÔé¼┼ôWha-├óÔé¼┼ô
├óÔé¼┼ôRPG├óÔé¼┬Ø Kelko interjected
├óÔé¼┼ôAn RPG did this?├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy replied in wonder
├óÔé¼┼ôFine, three├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôYou failed to notice three incoming RPGs...├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôShut up and help me out of here├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôYou still got my pistol?├óÔé¼┬Ø
Kelko looked at him angrily. ├óÔé¼┼ôGuess├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy sighed and pulled her out until she got stuck. Then he moved a large girder and she came free.
├óÔé¼┼ôTha ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ Shit! Behind you!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy spun around and levelled his rifle at the conscript behind him.
├óÔé¼┼ôNo don├óÔé¼Ôäót shoot!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy didn├óÔé¼Ôäót shoot, but didn├óÔé¼Ôäót lower his rifle either. The conscript had his hands in the air.
├óÔé¼┼ôDon├óÔé¼Ôäót shoot! I surrender! Don├óÔé¼Ôäót shoot!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy pulled the conscript├óÔé¼Ôäós pistol from its holster and threw it to Kelko. Then he dragged the conscript to an open doorway and kicked him out. Whilst they did get bonus pay for capturing an enemy soldier, this was hardly an appropriate time to be taking prisoners.
Seski had blown out his knee cap. The sniper wouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót be going anywhere soon. The sniper had fallen to the ground and was grasping at his wounded knee. Seski had got him right in the knee joint. What made it worse was that the bullet had, in the manner of Blast weapons, exploded, leaving the bastard├óÔé¼Ôäós lower leg attached by a small bit of bloody tissue. Speaking of bloody tissue, bit of knee was now splattered all over the place. He kept his gun on him in case he turned invisible again. Who the fuck was this guy?
Baska entered the hallway, weapons aimed, and kicked the sniper├óÔé¼Ôäós gun away into a nearby room. He then crouched down in front of the sniper, who seemed to be watching him with cold fury despite it being Seski who blew off his kneecap. Baska levelled one of his pistols at the sniper├óÔé¼Ôäós forehead.
├óÔé¼┼ôGive me three good reasons not to put a bullet in your head.├óÔé¼┬Ø
------------------------------------------------
Production Notes
Yup, Psychasi blast weapons are damned nasty
Yes the sniper has survived having two broken ribs, jumping through a window and having his leg shot off.
EDIT: Oh shit forgot to format it!
*formats*
EDIT: Formatting complete
Not bad. One more suggestion would be to ditch the "xxxx said coldly, yyyyy replied testily" ect. Show those attributes through the character of the dialogue, or what we know of the character/setting.
Adverbs are your enemy, kill them. Kill them all. They are not strong writing.
These pieces are improving, good job.
Adverbs are your enemy, kill them. Kill them all. They are not strong writing.
These pieces are improving, good job.
- Guessmyname
- Posts: 3301
- Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 21:07
*reads Soelis from start to finish*
Uh oh, typos and plot holes / irregularities galore!
Example plot irregularities:
* early on Brandy, Sheepshit and 'the new guy' retreat and they get organised into a defense etc by a Sergeant. Later this is said to be because of Starshina Plavin. Both he and Senior Leiutennant Tostin are not mentioned, even in passing until Sheepshit brings it up.
* Early on, it states the 'two riflemen and AT group' is the standard tank hunter unit. Later, it is described as a tactically flawed plan devised by S. L. Tostin trying to save his own arse.
* When the sniper is first described as wearing a black cloak obscuring his face and other features. Later, it reads as though he has taken it off (I forgot to add the bit where he takes it off)
* He also jumps down from a rooftop and through a window, despite two broken ribs (I forgot to add a bit involving him having highly advanced painkillers)
* Brandy's rifle gets cut in two during a close-combat fight. Later, he is seen running around shooting conscripts with it
* Kelko's AT Launcher is given several different names throughout the story. First it is a Fracture Missile Launcher. Then it's a Blast Missile Launcher, then just an AT Launcher
I won't fix them in the forum posts, but I will fix them in the word doc. Once I'm finished I'll post the word doc here for your downloading pleasure
Uh oh, typos and plot holes / irregularities galore!
Example plot irregularities:
* early on Brandy, Sheepshit and 'the new guy' retreat and they get organised into a defense etc by a Sergeant. Later this is said to be because of Starshina Plavin. Both he and Senior Leiutennant Tostin are not mentioned, even in passing until Sheepshit brings it up.
* Early on, it states the 'two riflemen and AT group' is the standard tank hunter unit. Later, it is described as a tactically flawed plan devised by S. L. Tostin trying to save his own arse.
* When the sniper is first described as wearing a black cloak obscuring his face and other features. Later, it reads as though he has taken it off (I forgot to add the bit where he takes it off)
* He also jumps down from a rooftop and through a window, despite two broken ribs (I forgot to add a bit involving him having highly advanced painkillers)
* Brandy's rifle gets cut in two during a close-combat fight. Later, he is seen running around shooting conscripts with it
* Kelko's AT Launcher is given several different names throughout the story. First it is a Fracture Missile Launcher. Then it's a Blast Missile Launcher, then just an AT Launcher
I won't fix them in the forum posts, but I will fix them in the word doc. Once I'm finished I'll post the word doc here for your downloading pleasure
- Guessmyname
- Posts: 3301
- Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 21:07
├óÔé¼┼ôWhere are they?├óÔé¼┬Ø Asked Brandy as he scanned the room. Kelko shrugged, then, noticing his back was turned, said
├óÔé¼┼ôHow should I know? I only work here.├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy chuckled.
├óÔé¼┼ôAh, there they ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ GRENADE!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Kelko dived for cover and Brandy kicked the cylindrical grenade away and hid behind a table. It exploded, doing no damage whatsoever save a small bowl of random petunias that had somehow managed to survive up to this point. Conscripts kicked down the door and stormed the room. Brandy rose from behind the table, shot one and found he had to duck back behind the table again, as a flurry of fire came from his attackers. They took cover behind whatever was available, dragging their wounded comrade out of the firing line. There was something odd about these conscripts. They were too good, too professional.
They were Regulars.
***
├óÔé¼┼ôSure, why not. One: You can├óÔé¼Ôäót. Two: You won├óÔé¼Ôäót. Three: You both won├óÔé¼Ôäót and can├óÔé¼Ôäót because your pistol needs reloading.├óÔé¼┬Ø
Baska pointed his other pistol at him. The Sniper was momentarily surprised.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhere did you get that.├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôI nicked it off Kelko├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôBastard├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôShut up Seski├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska retorted
There was an uncomfortable silence.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhy do you want me dead?├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska asked, finally
├óÔé¼┼ôI need to protect the timeline├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôShut up Seski!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôYou were a possible threat. I couldn├óÔé¼Ôäót afford to ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£├óÔé¼┼ô
Something exploded in the floor above and a large chunk of ceiling fell on The Sniper├óÔé¼Ôäós ├óÔé¼╦£wounded├óÔé¼Ôäó knee. He screamed in pain
├óÔé¼┼ôShit!├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska quickly hoisted him up and dragged him away. The lower leg broke from the small piece of sinew keeping it attached. The Sniper screamed some more. Baska laid him down and shot him with a tranquilliser to try and ease the pain. The Sniper shook his head and removed it
├óÔé¼┼ôI├óÔé¼Ôäóm immune├óÔé¼┬Ø he explained. He pulled a little blue sachet out of a pocket, opened the packet with his teeth, drank the contents and relaxed slightly, the pain ebbing away for now.
├óÔé¼┼ôYou were saying?├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska continued. He still hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót lowered his gun.
├óÔé¼┼ôYou were a possible threat. I had to neutralise it. The timeline... it has to be preserved.├óÔé¼┬Ø Despite the painkillers, the Sniper groaned.
├óÔé¼┼ôTimeline? Just├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska sighed ├óÔé¼┼ôJust what the hell is going on?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôThat├óÔé¼Ôäós the unloaded gun by the way├óÔé¼┬Ø
Baska threw it into a corner.
├óÔé¼┼ôDon├óÔé¼Ôäót change the subject. What is going on here?├óÔé¼┬Ø
The sniper layed back his head to look at Baska.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat shouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót be├óÔé¼┬Ø
***
Brandy stayed behind the table, very glad it was made of metal. The Regulars hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót shifted.
├óÔé¼┼ôLook├óÔé¼┬Ø began one of them ├óÔé¼┼ôThere├óÔé¼Ôäós been a mix up├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôNo shit├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy fired back
The Regular was momentarily pissed and shot the table to discourage further interrupted.
├óÔé¼┼ôThere├óÔé¼Ôäós been a bit of a mix up. Now listen├óÔé¼┬Ø He began again.
***
Sheepshit was now snoring. Tallin was starting to fidget in nervous impatience. The GHE attack down their road still hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót arrived.
├óÔé¼┼ôSheeps? Hey Sheeps!├óÔé¼┬Ø
He kicked Sheepshit├óÔé¼Ôäós shoe. He woke up with a start.
├óÔé¼┼ôHuh, what?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWere are they?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWho?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôThe GHEs of course├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôHow the piss should I know?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSheeps, they should have arrived a while before now├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSo? The longer they linger the longer I live├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWe need to find the AT teams├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôAre you crazy?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWe need to go to them!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôI thought they were supposed to come to us!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSheeps, we need to go to them├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôOh fine├óÔé¼┬Ø
He took the Repeater off its tripod and stood.
├óÔé¼┼ôYou not taking the Repeater are you?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat else am I supposed to use, harsh language? The Tranquillisers?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWe need the MG here!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôIt stays, I stay├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôOh... Fine! Just lets get going!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôHow should I know? I only work here.├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy chuckled.
├óÔé¼┼ôAh, there they ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ GRENADE!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Kelko dived for cover and Brandy kicked the cylindrical grenade away and hid behind a table. It exploded, doing no damage whatsoever save a small bowl of random petunias that had somehow managed to survive up to this point. Conscripts kicked down the door and stormed the room. Brandy rose from behind the table, shot one and found he had to duck back behind the table again, as a flurry of fire came from his attackers. They took cover behind whatever was available, dragging their wounded comrade out of the firing line. There was something odd about these conscripts. They were too good, too professional.
They were Regulars.
***
├óÔé¼┼ôSure, why not. One: You can├óÔé¼Ôäót. Two: You won├óÔé¼Ôäót. Three: You both won├óÔé¼Ôäót and can├óÔé¼Ôäót because your pistol needs reloading.├óÔé¼┬Ø
Baska pointed his other pistol at him. The Sniper was momentarily surprised.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhere did you get that.├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôI nicked it off Kelko├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôBastard├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôShut up Seski├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska retorted
There was an uncomfortable silence.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhy do you want me dead?├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska asked, finally
├óÔé¼┼ôI need to protect the timeline├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôShut up Seski!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôYou were a possible threat. I couldn├óÔé¼Ôäót afford to ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£├óÔé¼┼ô
Something exploded in the floor above and a large chunk of ceiling fell on The Sniper├óÔé¼Ôäós ├óÔé¼╦£wounded├óÔé¼Ôäó knee. He screamed in pain
├óÔé¼┼ôShit!├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska quickly hoisted him up and dragged him away. The lower leg broke from the small piece of sinew keeping it attached. The Sniper screamed some more. Baska laid him down and shot him with a tranquilliser to try and ease the pain. The Sniper shook his head and removed it
├óÔé¼┼ôI├óÔé¼Ôäóm immune├óÔé¼┬Ø he explained. He pulled a little blue sachet out of a pocket, opened the packet with his teeth, drank the contents and relaxed slightly, the pain ebbing away for now.
├óÔé¼┼ôYou were saying?├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska continued. He still hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót lowered his gun.
├óÔé¼┼ôYou were a possible threat. I had to neutralise it. The timeline... it has to be preserved.├óÔé¼┬Ø Despite the painkillers, the Sniper groaned.
├óÔé¼┼ôTimeline? Just├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska sighed ├óÔé¼┼ôJust what the hell is going on?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôThat├óÔé¼Ôäós the unloaded gun by the way├óÔé¼┬Ø
Baska threw it into a corner.
├óÔé¼┼ôDon├óÔé¼Ôäót change the subject. What is going on here?├óÔé¼┬Ø
The sniper layed back his head to look at Baska.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat shouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót be├óÔé¼┬Ø
***
Brandy stayed behind the table, very glad it was made of metal. The Regulars hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót shifted.
├óÔé¼┼ôLook├óÔé¼┬Ø began one of them ├óÔé¼┼ôThere├óÔé¼Ôäós been a mix up├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôNo shit├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy fired back
The Regular was momentarily pissed and shot the table to discourage further interrupted.
├óÔé¼┼ôThere├óÔé¼Ôäós been a bit of a mix up. Now listen├óÔé¼┬Ø He began again.
***
Sheepshit was now snoring. Tallin was starting to fidget in nervous impatience. The GHE attack down their road still hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót arrived.
├óÔé¼┼ôSheeps? Hey Sheeps!├óÔé¼┬Ø
He kicked Sheepshit├óÔé¼Ôäós shoe. He woke up with a start.
├óÔé¼┼ôHuh, what?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWere are they?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWho?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôThe GHEs of course├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôHow the piss should I know?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSheeps, they should have arrived a while before now├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSo? The longer they linger the longer I live├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWe need to find the AT teams├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôAre you crazy?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWe need to go to them!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôI thought they were supposed to come to us!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSheeps, we need to go to them├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôOh fine├óÔé¼┬Ø
He took the Repeater off its tripod and stood.
├óÔé¼┼ôYou not taking the Repeater are you?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat else am I supposed to use, harsh language? The Tranquillisers?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWe need the MG here!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôIt stays, I stay├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôOh... Fine! Just lets get going!├óÔé¼┬Ø
Last edited by Guessmyname on 27 Apr 2006, 08:57, edited 2 times in total.
- Guessmyname
- Posts: 3301
- Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 21:07
- Guessmyname
- Posts: 3301
- Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 21:07
├óÔé¼┼ôWhat kind of mix up?├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy asked from behind his table
├óÔé¼┼ôThis war, this whole war between our races ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ it├óÔé¼Ôäós...├óÔé¼┬Ø The Regular seemed lost for words ├óÔé¼┼ôthe only reason it is continuing is because both sides think the Border Incident was an unprovoked attack by their other. In short, it├óÔé¼Ôäós just one great big screw up.├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhy are you telling me this?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôA cease-fire was brokered earlier this morning. You lot just ambushed the ambassadors├óÔé¼Ôäó convoy, and have been fighting for about five hours longer than you should.├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôOh fuck...├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôQuite.├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSo you were sent to calm this whole thing down?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôYes├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy was silent.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhy?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôDo you really think we├óÔé¼Ôäód send Conscripts on a diplomatic mission?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôThey probably wouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót throw a grenade in first! What is this? Blow up first, demand surrender later?├óÔé¼┬Ø
The Regular ground his teeth
├óÔé¼┼ôIn case you haven├óÔé¼Ôäót noticed there├óÔé¼Ôäós some bastard with one hell of a rifle running amok making mincemeat of anyone he finds!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôNo, I hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót noticed├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy replied with suspicion
├óÔé¼┼ôI have!├óÔé¼┬Ø Said Kelko joyfully, before she jumped out behind the Regulars and shot them two in the back of the head. The remaining two (it was a squad of five, and Brandy had already shot one) shot around to return fire, but Brandy popped up from behind the table and shot them too.
Kelko admired their handiwork. ├óÔé¼┼ôAir vents are such wonderful things, aren├óÔé¼Ôäót they?├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy looked at her
├óÔé¼┼ôI don├óÔé¼Ôäót think you should have done that Kelko...├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôCome on!├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska and Seski hoisted up the sniper with one arm over each of their shoulders. They dragged up to the doorway.
├óÔé¼┼ôWho├óÔé¼Ôäós got the stretcher?├óÔé¼┬Ø Whispered Baska to Seski
├óÔé¼┼ôUh....├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôKelko does├óÔé¼┬Ø Said the Sniper helpfully. Both Baska and Seski looked at him in surprise.
├óÔé¼┼ôO-kay... Lets find Kelko then├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôGo for it├óÔé¼┬Ø Said the sniper. Baska nearly turned again, but checked himself in time. He snatched up Kelko├óÔé¼Ôäós pistol, reloaded it and gave it him.
├óÔé¼┼ôIf it isn├óÔé¼Ôäót black and white, shoot it repeatedly.├óÔé¼┬Ø He instructed. The sniper nodded, and Baska and Seski darted out of the doorway and into the firefight outside.
--------------------
Production Notes
Nuts to formatting, this reads fine.
The line ├óÔé¼┼ôIf it isn├óÔé¼Ôäót black and white, shoot it repeatedly.├óÔé¼┬Ø is referring to the PsyCore armour white and black armour Seski, Brandy, Baska and Kelko are all wearing (Many layers of white cloth with sewn on black armour plates)
EDIT: Hmm. Hadn't realised this was going to be this short
Also: I'm back at school now so my writing time is greatly reduced. I'm trying to write during lunchtimes too to compensate
├óÔé¼┼ôThis war, this whole war between our races ├óÔé¼ÔÇ£ it├óÔé¼Ôäós...├óÔé¼┬Ø The Regular seemed lost for words ├óÔé¼┼ôthe only reason it is continuing is because both sides think the Border Incident was an unprovoked attack by their other. In short, it├óÔé¼Ôäós just one great big screw up.├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôWhy are you telling me this?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôA cease-fire was brokered earlier this morning. You lot just ambushed the ambassadors├óÔé¼Ôäó convoy, and have been fighting for about five hours longer than you should.├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôOh fuck...├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôQuite.├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôSo you were sent to calm this whole thing down?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôYes├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy was silent.
├óÔé¼┼ôWhy?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôDo you really think we├óÔé¼Ôäód send Conscripts on a diplomatic mission?├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôThey probably wouldn├óÔé¼Ôäót throw a grenade in first! What is this? Blow up first, demand surrender later?├óÔé¼┬Ø
The Regular ground his teeth
├óÔé¼┼ôIn case you haven├óÔé¼Ôäót noticed there├óÔé¼Ôäós some bastard with one hell of a rifle running amok making mincemeat of anyone he finds!├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôNo, I hadn├óÔé¼Ôäót noticed├óÔé¼┬Ø Brandy replied with suspicion
├óÔé¼┼ôI have!├óÔé¼┬Ø Said Kelko joyfully, before she jumped out behind the Regulars and shot them two in the back of the head. The remaining two (it was a squad of five, and Brandy had already shot one) shot around to return fire, but Brandy popped up from behind the table and shot them too.
Kelko admired their handiwork. ├óÔé¼┼ôAir vents are such wonderful things, aren├óÔé¼Ôäót they?├óÔé¼┬Ø
Brandy looked at her
├óÔé¼┼ôI don├óÔé¼Ôäót think you should have done that Kelko...├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôCome on!├óÔé¼┬Ø Baska and Seski hoisted up the sniper with one arm over each of their shoulders. They dragged up to the doorway.
├óÔé¼┼ôWho├óÔé¼Ôäós got the stretcher?├óÔé¼┬Ø Whispered Baska to Seski
├óÔé¼┼ôUh....├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôKelko does├óÔé¼┬Ø Said the Sniper helpfully. Both Baska and Seski looked at him in surprise.
├óÔé¼┼ôO-kay... Lets find Kelko then├óÔé¼┬Ø
├óÔé¼┼ôGo for it├óÔé¼┬Ø Said the sniper. Baska nearly turned again, but checked himself in time. He snatched up Kelko├óÔé¼Ôäós pistol, reloaded it and gave it him.
├óÔé¼┼ôIf it isn├óÔé¼Ôäót black and white, shoot it repeatedly.├óÔé¼┬Ø He instructed. The sniper nodded, and Baska and Seski darted out of the doorway and into the firefight outside.
--------------------
Production Notes
Nuts to formatting, this reads fine.
The line ├óÔé¼┼ôIf it isn├óÔé¼Ôäót black and white, shoot it repeatedly.├óÔé¼┬Ø is referring to the PsyCore armour white and black armour Seski, Brandy, Baska and Kelko are all wearing (Many layers of white cloth with sewn on black armour plates)
EDIT: Hmm. Hadn't realised this was going to be this short
Also: I'm back at school now so my writing time is greatly reduced. I'm trying to write during lunchtimes too to compensate
Last edited by Guessmyname on 29 Apr 2006, 21:57, edited 1 time in total.
- Guessmyname
- Posts: 3301
- Joined: 28 Apr 2005, 21:07
Shit...
I wrote a load of stuff for this on the school comps, but I've forgotten to send it back home, and I can't do that until Tuesday. I'm continuing writing from where I got up to, but can't post it because without the paragraph or so at school it won't make sense.
So expect lots and lots of shooty fun on Tuesday, but not before.
Sorry for any inconvenience
I wrote a load of stuff for this on the school comps, but I've forgotten to send it back home, and I can't do that until Tuesday. I'm continuing writing from where I got up to, but can't post it because without the paragraph or so at school it won't make sense.
So expect lots and lots of shooty fun on Tuesday, but not before.
Sorry for any inconvenience
don't do it! enjoy your lunchtimes relaxing in other ways, otherwise your schoolwork will suffer too (and then ur parents will ban ur PC acess or some shit and we will never know how this ends ;.Also: I'm back at school now so my writing time is greatly reduced. I'm trying to write during lunchtimes too to compensate
