Nice guys do not get girls... [contains immature language]

[Machete234]

caveman bullshit

You don't have to walk up punch a chick in the face and tell her suck your dick. You just have to stop being a pussy.

Ah ok, thx I didnt realise that

[smoth]

Yes, only insecure losers make threads about that... ohh snap.

cute

Anyways. being a douche doesn't get you girls, it's just that a lot of so called nice guys are only nice because they have problems getting girls and they think they would get a girl that way. They can be amazingly uncaring (douche level) and still think of themselves as 'very nice guys'.

Ah so you do see the point. "Nice guys" are often just as uncaring as the "assholes." They think they are nice guys because they do the nice guy action but going through the motions are not enough. It is a matter of personal attitude.

[Pxtl]

Am I the only one who feels sad when they make a long and thoughtful post and it turns out it's the last post on the page and now nobody's going to look at it because nobody's going to bother with a previous page of the thread?

Yes?

God, I suck.

@smoth

I disagree. I know I meant every stupid piece of bullcrap that I said when I was going through a nice-guy phase. It was wrong-headed and pointless, but it sure as hell was genuine.

[Machete234]

oh you complimented her? good for you!

I think I never made compliments in my life, if yes unintentionally.

But holding doors open doesnt really hurt or being nice in general, like in an enviroment were we all need something from each other like at work it pays off almost instantly.

Most guys who are good with women are nice guys even though internet sites for loser who dont get women tell you otherwise.

I mean some guys are too good for this world but for most of the people this advice to not be a nice guy isnt really good.
Because 95% are not too nice and arent door mats.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kreutzer_Sonata

This sounds like a read before bed that will almost last me a year because I fall asleep after 2 min.

[smoth]

I went through the nice guy phase. For the record, I really don't blame the nice guys. When I was a kid, every single facet of society was telling you that's how to be. It's what women said you should be, what TV said you should be, what your family said you should be. Be agreeable, friendly and helpful... every single kid's TV show had a nice, friendly helpful dude winning the heart of his dream-girl.

It is not, however, attractive. That's where I think most "nice-guy" dudes missed the boat. Just like every guy talks about how they want a girl who shares our interests and laughs at our jokes, we say that after the implied "and she should be skinny and have big bazongas" part. However, in this case the "what we talk about wanting" and "what we find attractive" are directly opposite of each other.

*Everybody*, not just women, want you to be friendly and helpful... but friendly and helpful isn't sexy, confidence is. Friendly and helpful looks desperate and submissive, which is the opposite of sexy for a dude.

To me, the biggest betrayal I felt when I gave up on the "nice guy" concept was anger at the feminist movement. See, as a kid it always felt like I was being respectful and following the new "feminist" approach to romance instead of traditional exploitative mentalities. So to see the feminist movement rally behind the message that "nice guys are exploitative assholes just looking to get inside your panties through lies and subterfuge and are probably going to rape you" from them was kind of a stabbing in the gut.

Obviously in retrospect that was kind of a stupid attitude for me to have... feminists don't tell you to be obsessively respectful towards women because it'll help you get in her panties or because it's what women want. But of course, to a horny little adolescent guy, *everything* about women is about getting into her panties, so that part kind of went wooshing over my head. But I can totally see how so many "nice guys" turn into complete psycho anti-feminist misogynists when their worldview comes crashing down.

I hate when a good post is the last one and lost to the previous page. Good post pxtl.

I agree, the "nice guy" persona is a condescending one. It is interesting that was are raised with mixed messages. "A gentleman will buy a girl flowers" has been said so long that flowers are a thoughtless act. Where it was once a sweet thing it has now become, oh, I forgot her birthday, better get her some roses. It is exactly that reason which leads me to never buy flowers. People respond with "so what is the occasion" or "what did you do?"

I think that the sort of coddling of women can be some of the misogynistic things men do to women. It stopped being about the romanticism and is now about as you say exploitative things. I think it is very possible to do nice things but do them in an atypical way. I know for sure that people LOVE to be surprised with something nice out of the blue. "nice guys" still think that if they do these sort of key things(see mental image of guy reading a book about how to get the girl) such heartless acts never win someone's affection.

*Everybody*, not just women, want you to be friendly and helpful... but friendly and helpful isn't sexy, confidence is. Friendly and helpful looks desperate and submissive, which is the opposite of sexy for a dude.

Definitely but like I said I still think there is room for surprise acts of kindness.

oh you complimented her? good for you!

I think I never made compliments in my life, if yes unintentionally.

That isn't the point. To compliment a girl because you expect some sort of reward is wrong. to compliment her because you genuinely feel that way is another. Just don't be surprised if she doesn't take interest in you. Although honestly, I have found some girls do really get flattered by a genuine compliment, just don't get upset when they don't.

This thread is getting interesting and is definitely going the way I had hoped. Keep going guys!

[Regret]

This thread is getting interesting and is definitely going the way I had hoped.

Rar rar blanket statements rar rar sweeping generalisations rar rar.

Must concur with FLOZi here. Where is this thread going?

[smoth]

the idea is to discuss why nice guys don't get girls and also that being an asshole is not the answer, just that the assholes are confident.

[Regret]

the idea is to discuss why nice guys don't get girls and also that being an asshole is not the answer, just that the assholes are confident.

I guess you have quite a different culture over there. I have never met your stereotypical "nice guy".

[SinbadEV]

First of all, "nice guys" are not just "nice guys"... most of the time... things like shyness, the "falling in love with every girl who smiles at you" thing, being an over-emotional "emo" guy, the "not getting the hint when a girl DOES like you" etc are all typical of the "nice guy"

Personal Recommendations for me, one of those guys who actually WAS an over-emotional passive aggressive "nice guy" who was chronically shy and seemed to fall in love with every girl who smiled at me... or I guess a few that didn't even give me the time of day but had nice legs... I even had this thing where I would feel physically ill with guilt if I had e crush on more then one girl at once... oh, and anger management issues to boot... anyways:

Honesty - Honesty is very similar to Confidence and girls are often fail to see the difference.

Talk to Every Girl - it's like the shotgun approach... and it also can be confused with confidence. (EDIT: PROTIP: If you have the mental excuse that you "talk to every girl" it is much less difficult to talk to "specific girls"... it also get's you invited to more parties where you can meet girls)

Be Ridiculously Creative and Obvious - If it is not extremely obvious to the whole world that you like her she's probably not going to get the hint.


Also, I have this friend who is a "Jerk" but also has all of the hallmarks of a traditional "nice guy" and he's older then me and still single... so being a jerk isn't magic.

The other thing I've noticed is that "nice guys" tend to not want to just "get laid", they want a "legitimate relationship"... which is significantly harder to achieve... as such their rate of failure is higher.

[MidKnight]

If you're honestly a kind, nice person, and you're looking for somebody who will appreciate that and appreciate you for it and failing, then you're not looking hard enough.

[SinbadEV]

...or your friends are secretly discrediting you and working against your establishment of a long term relationship in other subtle ways to ensure you remain single forever so they always have someone to invite over and watch Dr. Who with...

[Gota]

@thread
I have an announcement!!!
I have discovered a new continent!!I will call it America!!

wait...

want girls? get money/personality/life.
you can be a nice guy a dueshbag or whatever but as long as you got at least one of the above you'll get women(unless you manage to lock one in your basement without anyone noticing).
If you got none you are out of the gene pool and good riddance.

EDIT:
I lol @4chan tldr being discussed here..

[Panda]

I don't like guys who are push-overs and call themselves nice guys. I think that they don't have any self-respect and, therefore, would eventually treat me the same way they do themselves, badly. It isn't worth being in a relationship with someone like that.

[SinbadEV]

Oh, I forgot to mention... make sure you have established a long term relationship by the time you reach the end of your formal education because the difficulty in finding excuses to meet people increases dramatically from that point on.

[smoth]

Indeed(possible cultural differences, dating pool from american perspective).

highschool:
chicks know they have you by your hormonal balls, recognize you as a ball of horny that wants to throw a penis in something. Despite your best intent you are still a horny mess and they have boobies.

college:
chicks know you are building a career, you have highest potential to get something solid as you might be rich someday right? Right?

post college:
unless you make an assload of money have fun scraping the bottom of the left over tray.

*RICH GUY*:
lol sup hoes.




But seriously think about it sinbad is right.

[Sleksa]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fmo1Sjn ... re=related


Video very much related to discussion

[1v0ry_k1ng]

Oh, I forgot to mention... make sure you have established a long term relationship by the time you reach the end of your formal education because the difficulty in finding excuses to meet people increases dramatically from that point on

oh shi

[Otherside]

This thread is now about chicken kievs.

after looking at this pic i assume its some metaphor

Nope

I just love chicken kievs

[Forboding Angel]

lolhow did this get 3 pages in 1 day?

Bro Rape.

[Johannes]

Oh, I forgot to mention... make sure you have established a long term relationship by the time you reach the end of your formal education because the difficulty in finding excuses to meet people increases dramatically from that point on.

You need excuses to meet people?