"Dealing with computer noobs"-thread

[PicassoCT]

The whoreroar, when you fix it, and she cant find anything. You damaged it even more, how im going to live without my precious gadgets.

[Machete234]

Toolbars in the browser that are beyond your wildest dreams.
A tamagochi toolbar.

Also opening the msconfig, and deactivting useless instantmessenger impresses the most.

Thats nothing you need to fix a broken master boot record.
Phone: "Oh no my HD is broken, everything gone, windows not starting...."

Putting in the xp cd, hitting f4 or something and entering "fixmbr"
its priceless.
Then youre officilally the wizard.
I am waiting for the day when I have to crack a forgotten win password it will be so awesome.

[Sucky_Lord]

Ivory, normally when i go to a girls house i dont rush to boot the PC, that might be where youre going wrong

[Forboding Angel]

Fun fact:

My 93 yr old grandfather uses email and facebook like nobody's business. He also watches movies that I have shared over the network fairly often.

[Gota]

old people have the biggest incentive to use the web...they got nothing else to do...

[Jazcash]

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that can read binary, and those that can't.

[Petah]

We get clients, all the time, who upload a 3200x2400 image into something like a 160 wide sidebar. Then they are like WTF why is my site taking so long to load.

I am waiting for the day when I have to crack a forgotten win password it will be so awesome.

That's actually pretty easy. You just need a linux boot CD and there is an app to reset the password (not recover it)

[Panda]

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that can read binary, and those that can't.

Lol. I've heard that joke pretty often and it's still funny to me.

[Petah]

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that can read binary, and those that can't.

Lol. I've heard that joke pretty often and it's still funny to me.

Nerd

[Argh]

My favorite of all time, and I was there (it's one of those you'd never believe otherwise).

I was doing helpdesk ages and ages ago for a hellish place that did dialup, DSL and ISDN support (yup, ISDN <shudder>).

We got a call from a friendly gentleman, who said he'd gotten "that CD in the mail" from one of the many dialup ISPs we provided helpdesk for.

Helpdesk Guy: "Great to hear you've gotten the CD-ROM, sir. How can we help you?"

Guy: "Is it true that I can use this thing to get on the Internet and stuff? I've heard all about it, and it sounds great."

Helpdesk Guy: "Absolutely, sir. The CD-ROM will install everything you need and configure your modem for you automatically. It's really easy."(BLATANT LIE REQUIRED BY OUR CORPORATE BOSSES, WE GOT DOZENS OF MODEM CONFIGURATION ISSUES A DAY).

Guy: "Wow, that sounds great! How much is it to get started?"

Helpdesk Guy: "Like the package says, it's just $15.00 a month, sir. Want to get started with our service? I'll be happy to set you up."

Guy: "Sure thing! But... uh..."

Guy: "Do you need one of those computer things to do this?"

[oksnoop2]

Ok, So my online status in pidgin is set as "I love GUI". My buddy and I are playing tf2 and chatting over mumble. He hears me talking to my girlfriend. He asked me if her name was "goh-yui".

I lol'd.

[knorke]

laptops with resolution set higher than the displays resolution
so that you have to scroll around the screen and can not see the taskbar and menubar of programs at the same time.
moar space for my desktop icons yoyo!

[very_bad_soldier]

A guy called a friend of mine to get instructions on how to install his freshly bought sound card (Sound Blaster Pro or something, about 15 years ago).

My mate said to him "No problem, open your case, find a free ISA slot (dunno, I think PCI was not invented yet). Then put the card in and skrew it."

The guy was doing so. Then he asked "Ok done, whats next?".

"Thats all, you can power on the machine now."

*A moment of silence on the line*

"Well, it IS on! You did not say a word about turning the machine off..."

[Machete234]

We get clients, all the time, who upload a 3200x2400 image into something like a 160 wide sidebar. Then they are like WTF why is my site taking so long to load.

I am waiting for the day when I have to crack a forgotten win password it will be so awesome.

That's actually pretty easy. You just need a linux boot CD and there is an app to reset the password (not recover it)

ophcrack but imagine the effect this has.
"omg he's a haxxor only the cia can do that.... etc "

[Machete234]

Guy: "Do you need one of those computer things to do this?"

classic: "I bought one of these modems and put it on top of my screen but nothing happened"

Seriously there is nothing to dumb to be true.

old people have the biggest incentive to use the web...they got nothing else to do...

Lol but take my 80 year old grandma she could never in her life ride a bike, drive car and she probably could never swim.
There are really different kind of old people some like to keep themselves occupied and some just wait for their life to end, as sad as it might sound.

[1v0ry_k1ng]

Ivory, normally when i go to a girls house i dont rush to boot the PC, that might be where youre going wrong

but then how do you check your emails?

[hoijui]

these girls spend hours over hours serving the web, to install every tool-bar an pop-up thing they can find, just to make you stay longer, and eventually give up on the PC and spend some time with them, personally.

[Sucky_Lord]

Ivory, normally when i go to a girls house i dont rush to boot the PC, that might be where youre going wrong

but then how do you check your emails?

Thats what she's for, aside from cooking and cleaning

[Karl]

And the funny thing is
on the the time where the FIRST movie came

they thought the same shit "all magicary , some wizard etc..."


Heck i knowd some random guy
who was playing some crappy games the Game hanged up
what did i do?

i called the Task Manager and closed the Programm
and the most funny thing is he calls me a hacker

Retarded.

Also Computers existed for years
and there gives so many dumbs who does not know how to use a Computer instead

And spending money for some crap

The best anti virus is still The Brain and nothing can beat it

[SpliFF]

My favourite has always been people who, when presented with a button called "Next", and text saying "Click Next to continue" ask you what they're supposed to do next.