Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
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Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Diest
I like the steady stream of jerking, sighing and lip biting. Please carry on.
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Diest
Hey, I'm not holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read it.
This is a rough draft, so its going to have problems.
This is a rough draft, so its going to have problems.
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Forboding Angel
- Evolution RTS Developer
- Posts: 14673
- Joined: 17 Nov 2005, 02:43
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Diest
As usual, daddy lieks, but one thing. How did he touch her? I thought that she was incorporeal and therefore, ghosty and stuff.
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Diest
She switches between the two.
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Diest
Moar stuff.
###
Daniel slotted the coffee machine in and started to mix up a brew, even as the Angel knelt before the house cat. She bowed her head to the ground, pressing her forehead against the hard wood floor.
ÔÇ£Um, what are you doing?ÔÇØ Daniel asked, trying and failing to not look at her bum.
ÔÇ£I'm paying my respects,ÔÇØ She said.
ÔÇ£To Mr. Fluffyboots?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£A dignified name.ÔÇØ The Angel said without a single hint of sarcasm. Mr. Fluffyboots deigned to notice her long enough to nudge her forehead with his nose. ÔÇ£Thank you, Mr. Fluffyboots. I take this treaty in the spirit in which it was wished. I swear to provide you with Food and Warm Places.ÔÇØ
Mr. Fluffyboots stuck his nose into the food dish and chomped up some food, then walked off, tail wagging in the air.
ÔÇ£You're pretty...ÔÇØ Daniel said, trailing off as the Angel stood and looked at him. Pretty weird, he thought.
ÔÇ£Pretty what?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Pretty.ÔÇØ He said, dumbly.
The Angel blushed. ÔÇ£Stop that! This is just a professional relationship. We're here to write a book together, not...anything else.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ He nodded.
The coffee maker dinged and he poured out two steaming mugs of the stuff. He handed one to her and she knocked it back with admirable efficiency. She sighed, wiping her mouth off. ÔÇ£Okay. Lets rock n' roll.ÔÇØ
They sat down before the computer...and stared at the blank screen.
ÔÇ£Oh for the love of .ÔÇØ The Angel growled. ÔÇ£We've got a title, and this bit would go great for the middle, but...we kinda need ya know, a beginning!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Well, um, how did the universe start?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£No idea.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£No idea?ÔÇØ Daniel scowled. ÔÇ£You're an angel!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I am an angel, but I was born in 1854.ÔÇØ She scowled. ÔÇ£Last time I checked, thats just a wee bit after the beginning of the Universe!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Angels are born?ÔÇØ Daniel asked.
ÔÇ£Anyway, even if I knew, I woulden't tell you! If humanity had everything told to it, then...ÔÇØ She sighed. ÔÇ£Then where would you go? What would you strive for?ÔÇØ
Daniel bit his lip. He didn't have an answer for that.
ÔÇ£Why...don't we start there?ÔÇØ He said, after a few moments of silence.
ÔÇ£Hmm?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Lets start without an explanation.ÔÇØ Daniel slid off the bed and pointed at the screen. ÔÇ£Just write about how the Universe just...started and not even the Big knows why.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£ does know why, though.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah.ÔÇØ Daniel smiled. ÔÇ£But didn't you say humanity didn't need to know that?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Not exactly...ÔÇØ The Angel cracked her knuckles. ÔÇ£But it'll work for now. Hopefully.ÔÇØ
Her fingers settled on the keyboard and her wings fluttered, her plumage brushing along Daniel's face. Daniel, not for the first time, wondered if he had hit his head some time today and gone into a seriously coked out coma.
Then the Angel started to type, her fingers almost flying across the keyboard. She stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth, her fingers pounding on the keys a bit harder than need be. Words flowed onto the page and soon the first blank page was filled with liens and lines of text.
<Insert Retelling of Genesis that incoperates multi-god creation and evolutionary biology>
ÔÇ£Right! Good.ÔÇØ Daniel nodded, sipping his coffee. He sighed, looking at the clock. It was almost one in the morning. ÔÇ£Wait,ÔÇØ He bit his lip. ÔÇ£How are we gonna handle school?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You can't leave my sight.ÔÇØ The Angel said, pointing a finger at Daniel. ÔÇ£But don't worry, I can go invisible and incorporeal and inaudible whenever I want too, so I won't cramp your style.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What if I don't really like the idea of someone following me all the tim-ÔÇØ
The Angel shot him a glare, eyes narrowing.
ÔÇ£Nevermind.ÔÇØ Daniel sipped another bit of coffee down. ÔÇ£Uh...that first page is good.ÔÇØ
The Angel sighed, slowly. ÔÇ£Just another nine hundred and ninety nine to go...ÔÇØ
Even though it was a very writer-ly thing to do, neither of them wanted to stay up till five in the morning scribbling. And so, Daniel opened the upstairs bedroom that had been his brother's before he went off to college. ÔÇ£You can sleep here...uh, will your wings fit on the bed?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh these?ÔÇØ The Angel grinned. ÔÇ£Watch this.ÔÇØ
She swung her back around and one of the wings ghosted through the wall, turning invisible as it did so.
ÔÇ£You can make only parts of you incorporeal and invisible?ÔÇØ Daniel grinned. ÔÇ£That is so cool!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ The Angel bowed. ÔÇ£Thank you for the bedroom, Daniel. Sleep good.ÔÇØ She closed the door.
Daniel sighed, then turned around to his room. He yawned and muttered to himself. He sat down on the bed and looked at his computer, which was now off. They had saved the first few pages they had gotten done on there.
ÔÇ£This is too weird,ÔÇØ He muttered.
Then he lay on his bed.
ÔÇ£She is hot...ÔÇØ
His eyes closed.
Chapter Four: Sunday, shopping and screws
Daniel woke up with a groan. That had been one weird ass dream. He grumbled, sitting up. He tried to make sense of it all as he stood, pressing his feet to the ground. Well, first, an angel had appeared in his room.
A hot angel.
He walked down the hallway, then down the stairs to the bathroom. ÔÇ£A hot angel,ÔÇØ He muttered, brushing his teeth as he watched himself in the mirror. He spat into the sink. ÔÇ£But if that had been a dream, why did we write a novel?ÔÇØ
He stuck his brush into his mouth and scrubbed for a few more moments. Spat.
ÔÇ£Why didn't we fuck or anything?ÔÇØ
His reflection didn't have an answer. It never did, lazy bum. Daniel gargled out his mouth and spat, then started the shower. He didn't bother closing the exterior bathroom door. He grinned. One of the nice things about being home alone was you could leave doors open. It was actually kinda-
ÔÇ£Hey, Daniel, you awake?ÔÇØ
Okay that was definitely a girl's voice. Daniel stood under the shower faucet with his hands mired in his hair, which had turned white with suds. Now his face was white enough to match it. He froze, mind jammed right at the words ÔÇ£a girlÔÇØ. A girl a girl a girl.
The Angel walked down the stairs, yawning. Because of her yawn, she got to the bottom of the stairs before stopping dead, eyes wide.
Daniel had never once in his entire life been caught with his drawers down so completely. He thought, abstractly, he should clap his hands over his privates. He thought he should grab the towel right outside of the shower. He should invite her into the shower, cause he was obviously still dreaming cause she had fucking angel wings.
As he had never done this before his only reaction was to stair dumbly at her, kinda like a deer in the headlights. As he was staring, he got to see her flush creep up from under her white smock, over her neck, through her cheeks, and up to her forehead.
ÔÇ£I'm...going...to close...this door,ÔÇØ She said, slowly and deliberately. ÔÇ£And we're not going to speak of this ever again.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ Daniel forced the words out, his knees suddenly weak.
The door creaked closed. Click.
Daniel fell over, his legs no longer able to support his body. He lay there, the water falling onto his belly, and slowly, he looked down at his feet. He was not sure what horrified him more. He had three choices.
A) A pretty girl had seem him act like a complete dingus.
B) All that whacked out stuff he had dreamed last night was true
C) There actually was a God.
ÔÇ£I'm going straight to hell,ÔÇØ He whispered, softly.
After the shower was done and he was very firmly dressed, he opened the door and peeked out. ÔÇ£Angel...person?ÔÇØ He called.
ÔÇ£Yeah?ÔÇØ She called from the -------. Daniel sniffed. Something smelled good. Real good! He opened the door fully and walked out. The Angel stood there, frying something up on the skillet.
ÔÇ£What's that?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£German pancakes.ÔÇØ She grinned. ÔÇ£They're delicious, you'll love em.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Um...thanks.ÔÇØ Daniel gulped. ÔÇ£Uh, about that shower-ÔÇØ
The Angel's cheeks flushed bright red. ÔÇ£What shower thing?ÔÇØ She said, her voice forced to cheeriness.
Okay. Daniel knew when to drop. He sat down in the ------- and cricked his neck. ÔÇ£Okay, um, we're gonna need to think up some practical answers to practical questions.ÔÇØ
She nodded. ÔÇ£Like what?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Well, um, my parents left enough budget to pay for one person eating, not one person and an Angel.ÔÇØ
She bit her lip. ÔÇ£I...suppose I could...conjure up some money.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You can do that!?ÔÇØ
She shushed him. ÔÇ£Matter manipulation is easy for most Supernatural people! The hard part is to not completely screw up the local economy by flooding it with bills.ÔÇØ She scowled. ÔÇ£I sure know what inflation can do.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ He nodded, slowly. ÔÇ£But, well, that covers our food budget. Um, clothes.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I...could...ÔÇØ She scowled. ÔÇ£That's more money to conjure, I guess...ÔÇØ
Daniel grinned. The Angel turned that scowl right at him. He held his hand up and, without prompting, he said: ÔÇ£I swear to only use your money conjuration too cover for what we absolutely have too.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Fine.ÔÇØ The Angel sighed.
ÔÇ£Now, after money issues, we just have things like...well, working on Bible 2.0 around school work and stuff...ÔÇØ He bit his lip. ÔÇ£How do I explain you to Tybalt?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Well, I can just make my wings invisible and pose as your...ÔÇØ She paused. ÔÇ£Friend.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Friend?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Just friend. No girl...just friend.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ Daniel coughed. ÔÇ£So, first things first, we'll need to get you a name.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Angelica?ÔÇØ She suggested.
ÔÇ£Ugh. No! We'll call you...ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Angelika?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That's just as bad!ÔÇØ He sighed. ÔÇ£How about...Jessica?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Naaah.ÔÇØ The Angel leaned back. ÔÇ£Gitta?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Gitta.ÔÇØ He tasted the word on his tongue. ÔÇ£Can I call you Git for short?ÔÇØ
The Angel bopped his head with her hand, scowling.
###
Daniel slotted the coffee machine in and started to mix up a brew, even as the Angel knelt before the house cat. She bowed her head to the ground, pressing her forehead against the hard wood floor.
ÔÇ£Um, what are you doing?ÔÇØ Daniel asked, trying and failing to not look at her bum.
ÔÇ£I'm paying my respects,ÔÇØ She said.
ÔÇ£To Mr. Fluffyboots?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£A dignified name.ÔÇØ The Angel said without a single hint of sarcasm. Mr. Fluffyboots deigned to notice her long enough to nudge her forehead with his nose. ÔÇ£Thank you, Mr. Fluffyboots. I take this treaty in the spirit in which it was wished. I swear to provide you with Food and Warm Places.ÔÇØ
Mr. Fluffyboots stuck his nose into the food dish and chomped up some food, then walked off, tail wagging in the air.
ÔÇ£You're pretty...ÔÇØ Daniel said, trailing off as the Angel stood and looked at him. Pretty weird, he thought.
ÔÇ£Pretty what?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Pretty.ÔÇØ He said, dumbly.
The Angel blushed. ÔÇ£Stop that! This is just a professional relationship. We're here to write a book together, not...anything else.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ He nodded.
The coffee maker dinged and he poured out two steaming mugs of the stuff. He handed one to her and she knocked it back with admirable efficiency. She sighed, wiping her mouth off. ÔÇ£Okay. Lets rock n' roll.ÔÇØ
They sat down before the computer...and stared at the blank screen.
ÔÇ£Oh for the love of .ÔÇØ The Angel growled. ÔÇ£We've got a title, and this bit would go great for the middle, but...we kinda need ya know, a beginning!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Well, um, how did the universe start?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£No idea.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£No idea?ÔÇØ Daniel scowled. ÔÇ£You're an angel!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I am an angel, but I was born in 1854.ÔÇØ She scowled. ÔÇ£Last time I checked, thats just a wee bit after the beginning of the Universe!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Angels are born?ÔÇØ Daniel asked.
ÔÇ£Anyway, even if I knew, I woulden't tell you! If humanity had everything told to it, then...ÔÇØ She sighed. ÔÇ£Then where would you go? What would you strive for?ÔÇØ
Daniel bit his lip. He didn't have an answer for that.
ÔÇ£Why...don't we start there?ÔÇØ He said, after a few moments of silence.
ÔÇ£Hmm?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Lets start without an explanation.ÔÇØ Daniel slid off the bed and pointed at the screen. ÔÇ£Just write about how the Universe just...started and not even the Big knows why.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£ does know why, though.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah.ÔÇØ Daniel smiled. ÔÇ£But didn't you say humanity didn't need to know that?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Not exactly...ÔÇØ The Angel cracked her knuckles. ÔÇ£But it'll work for now. Hopefully.ÔÇØ
Her fingers settled on the keyboard and her wings fluttered, her plumage brushing along Daniel's face. Daniel, not for the first time, wondered if he had hit his head some time today and gone into a seriously coked out coma.
Then the Angel started to type, her fingers almost flying across the keyboard. She stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth, her fingers pounding on the keys a bit harder than need be. Words flowed onto the page and soon the first blank page was filled with liens and lines of text.
<Insert Retelling of Genesis that incoperates multi-god creation and evolutionary biology>
ÔÇ£Right! Good.ÔÇØ Daniel nodded, sipping his coffee. He sighed, looking at the clock. It was almost one in the morning. ÔÇ£Wait,ÔÇØ He bit his lip. ÔÇ£How are we gonna handle school?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You can't leave my sight.ÔÇØ The Angel said, pointing a finger at Daniel. ÔÇ£But don't worry, I can go invisible and incorporeal and inaudible whenever I want too, so I won't cramp your style.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What if I don't really like the idea of someone following me all the tim-ÔÇØ
The Angel shot him a glare, eyes narrowing.
ÔÇ£Nevermind.ÔÇØ Daniel sipped another bit of coffee down. ÔÇ£Uh...that first page is good.ÔÇØ
The Angel sighed, slowly. ÔÇ£Just another nine hundred and ninety nine to go...ÔÇØ
Even though it was a very writer-ly thing to do, neither of them wanted to stay up till five in the morning scribbling. And so, Daniel opened the upstairs bedroom that had been his brother's before he went off to college. ÔÇ£You can sleep here...uh, will your wings fit on the bed?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh these?ÔÇØ The Angel grinned. ÔÇ£Watch this.ÔÇØ
She swung her back around and one of the wings ghosted through the wall, turning invisible as it did so.
ÔÇ£You can make only parts of you incorporeal and invisible?ÔÇØ Daniel grinned. ÔÇ£That is so cool!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ The Angel bowed. ÔÇ£Thank you for the bedroom, Daniel. Sleep good.ÔÇØ She closed the door.
Daniel sighed, then turned around to his room. He yawned and muttered to himself. He sat down on the bed and looked at his computer, which was now off. They had saved the first few pages they had gotten done on there.
ÔÇ£This is too weird,ÔÇØ He muttered.
Then he lay on his bed.
ÔÇ£She is hot...ÔÇØ
His eyes closed.
Chapter Four: Sunday, shopping and screws
Daniel woke up with a groan. That had been one weird ass dream. He grumbled, sitting up. He tried to make sense of it all as he stood, pressing his feet to the ground. Well, first, an angel had appeared in his room.
A hot angel.
He walked down the hallway, then down the stairs to the bathroom. ÔÇ£A hot angel,ÔÇØ He muttered, brushing his teeth as he watched himself in the mirror. He spat into the sink. ÔÇ£But if that had been a dream, why did we write a novel?ÔÇØ
He stuck his brush into his mouth and scrubbed for a few more moments. Spat.
ÔÇ£Why didn't we fuck or anything?ÔÇØ
His reflection didn't have an answer. It never did, lazy bum. Daniel gargled out his mouth and spat, then started the shower. He didn't bother closing the exterior bathroom door. He grinned. One of the nice things about being home alone was you could leave doors open. It was actually kinda-
ÔÇ£Hey, Daniel, you awake?ÔÇØ
Okay that was definitely a girl's voice. Daniel stood under the shower faucet with his hands mired in his hair, which had turned white with suds. Now his face was white enough to match it. He froze, mind jammed right at the words ÔÇ£a girlÔÇØ. A girl a girl a girl.
The Angel walked down the stairs, yawning. Because of her yawn, she got to the bottom of the stairs before stopping dead, eyes wide.
Daniel had never once in his entire life been caught with his drawers down so completely. He thought, abstractly, he should clap his hands over his privates. He thought he should grab the towel right outside of the shower. He should invite her into the shower, cause he was obviously still dreaming cause she had fucking angel wings.
As he had never done this before his only reaction was to stair dumbly at her, kinda like a deer in the headlights. As he was staring, he got to see her flush creep up from under her white smock, over her neck, through her cheeks, and up to her forehead.
ÔÇ£I'm...going...to close...this door,ÔÇØ She said, slowly and deliberately. ÔÇ£And we're not going to speak of this ever again.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ Daniel forced the words out, his knees suddenly weak.
The door creaked closed. Click.
Daniel fell over, his legs no longer able to support his body. He lay there, the water falling onto his belly, and slowly, he looked down at his feet. He was not sure what horrified him more. He had three choices.
A) A pretty girl had seem him act like a complete dingus.
B) All that whacked out stuff he had dreamed last night was true
C) There actually was a God.
ÔÇ£I'm going straight to hell,ÔÇØ He whispered, softly.
After the shower was done and he was very firmly dressed, he opened the door and peeked out. ÔÇ£Angel...person?ÔÇØ He called.
ÔÇ£Yeah?ÔÇØ She called from the -------. Daniel sniffed. Something smelled good. Real good! He opened the door fully and walked out. The Angel stood there, frying something up on the skillet.
ÔÇ£What's that?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£German pancakes.ÔÇØ She grinned. ÔÇ£They're delicious, you'll love em.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Um...thanks.ÔÇØ Daniel gulped. ÔÇ£Uh, about that shower-ÔÇØ
The Angel's cheeks flushed bright red. ÔÇ£What shower thing?ÔÇØ She said, her voice forced to cheeriness.
Okay. Daniel knew when to drop. He sat down in the ------- and cricked his neck. ÔÇ£Okay, um, we're gonna need to think up some practical answers to practical questions.ÔÇØ
She nodded. ÔÇ£Like what?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Well, um, my parents left enough budget to pay for one person eating, not one person and an Angel.ÔÇØ
She bit her lip. ÔÇ£I...suppose I could...conjure up some money.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You can do that!?ÔÇØ
She shushed him. ÔÇ£Matter manipulation is easy for most Supernatural people! The hard part is to not completely screw up the local economy by flooding it with bills.ÔÇØ She scowled. ÔÇ£I sure know what inflation can do.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ He nodded, slowly. ÔÇ£But, well, that covers our food budget. Um, clothes.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I...could...ÔÇØ She scowled. ÔÇ£That's more money to conjure, I guess...ÔÇØ
Daniel grinned. The Angel turned that scowl right at him. He held his hand up and, without prompting, he said: ÔÇ£I swear to only use your money conjuration too cover for what we absolutely have too.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Fine.ÔÇØ The Angel sighed.
ÔÇ£Now, after money issues, we just have things like...well, working on Bible 2.0 around school work and stuff...ÔÇØ He bit his lip. ÔÇ£How do I explain you to Tybalt?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Well, I can just make my wings invisible and pose as your...ÔÇØ She paused. ÔÇ£Friend.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Friend?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Just friend. No girl...just friend.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ Daniel coughed. ÔÇ£So, first things first, we'll need to get you a name.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Angelica?ÔÇØ She suggested.
ÔÇ£Ugh. No! We'll call you...ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Angelika?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That's just as bad!ÔÇØ He sighed. ÔÇ£How about...Jessica?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Naaah.ÔÇØ The Angel leaned back. ÔÇ£Gitta?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Gitta.ÔÇØ He tasted the word on his tongue. ÔÇ£Can I call you Git for short?ÔÇØ
The Angel bopped his head with her hand, scowling.
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Diest
How about Savanna, svn for short?
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Diest
i can't believe nobody mentioned it's "deist"
:)
:)
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
This needs to be made un-draft then drawn by Trudy Cooper.
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
Thanks!
And now, we have more fun stuff!
###
The Angel bopped his head with her hand, scowling.
ÔÇ£Kidding! Kidding! I was kidding!ÔÇØ He covered his head. ÔÇ£Gitta is good!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay then.ÔÇØ The Angel ÔÇô Gitta ÔÇô nodded. ÔÇ£Gitta it is!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Cool.ÔÇØ Danil bowed. ÔÇ£Thank you, Gitta, for this breakfast. It smells like its going to be absolutely delicious.ÔÇØ
Gitta preened, flipping one of the German pancakes to a plate, adding a sprinkling of powdered sugar, and voila! Daniel tucked in, even as Gitta cooked up her own pancake. And Daniel found that...well...it was delicious. Really really delicious.
ÔÇ£Mmn!ÔÇØ He groaned. ÔÇ£I'll have to cook you dinner.ÔÇØ He swallowed. ÔÇ£I'll make some of my pappa's traditional neo-burgers.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Neo-burgers?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ah ah ah!ÔÇØ Daniel held up a finger and grinned. ÔÇ£Its a secret, you're just gonna have to wait till the end of the day.ÔÇØ
The An...Gitta stuck her tongue out at him.
After breakfast, the two of them dressed. And by that I mean Daniel tugged on some shoes and walked out the front door, locked it, then The A...Gitta ghosted through the wall.
ÔÇ£This...is gonna be quite a walk.ÔÇØ Daniel sighed. ÔÇ£God I wish for a car.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£ said no, you need a license.ÔÇØ Gitta stuck her tongue out at him.
Daniel started. ÔÇ£You...can talk right to him? Er...blank?ÔÇØ
There was a soft giggle from the air, which sounded way way creepier than it should have been. It must have been totally because she was invisible.
ÔÇ£Pl...eeease,ÔÇØ Daniel shivered. ÔÇ£Don't do that.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Giggle like some kind of evil ghost girl.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh.ÔÇØ She paused, then started to sing softly and creepily.
In German.
Daniel put his hands over his ears. ÔÇ£You're a real sadist!ÔÇØ He grumbled.
Gitta burst into full throated laughter, which was less creepy than ghostly giggles.
Daniel popped his hands off his ears, even as he continued to walk along the streets of suburbia. ÔÇ£So, uh, why did you get me anyway? Like, before I started my crazy plot to re-write the Bible, going against the natural order and so on and so forth?ÔÇØ
She sighed. ÔÇ£Well, um, I kinda got demoted from Guardianship too...ÔÇØ She paused. ÔÇ£Prayer handling.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Prayer handling?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. Well, basically, the Big can't handle every prayer out there. I mean, lots of them are completely irrelevant. People pray a lot more than you'd think, often entirely by accident.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Huh.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, so, Prayer Handlers read the prayers, then decide to either pass them on up...or just dump them down the Chance Chute.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right. So, I'm like, you're big break?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Pretty much.ÔÇØ Gitta sighed and her voice moved from the right side of Daniel to the left, as though she was swooping from side to side. ÔÇ£First big break in almost eighty years.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Wow.ÔÇØ Daniel bit his lip. ÔÇ£Well, I'll do my best to be not evil.ÔÇØ
She snorted. ÔÇ£Daniel, I've got a newsflash for you...no one ever TRIES to be evil. They start off doing the best for their people. Then they think, say, it'll be a great idea to do this that or the other thing. Then they're in over their heads and before you know it, BAM! Everyone's dead.ÔÇØ
Daniel shivered at the bitterness in her voice. ÔÇ£G...Gitta, are you okay?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What? Me?ÔÇØ She sounded like she was gritting her teeth. ÔÇ£I'm fine.ÔÇØ
Daniel kept his trap shut as he continued waking. As he had said, it was going to be quite a walk. He had left out any qualifiers there, cause if he had put ÔÇ£veryÔÇØ and ÔÇ£longÔÇØ in there, it might have taken longer. Okay, that didn't really make sense, but he clung to that idea, and lo and behold...the walk took forever.
ÔÇ£Ugh,ÔÇØ He groaned as he finally staggered into the mall, his feet aching. ÔÇ£I need to sit down.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You call that a walk?ÔÇØ Gitta snorted.
ÔÇ£Hey!ÔÇØ Daniel wagged his finger in what he hoped was the vague direction of Gitta's voice. ÔÇ£I...'d like...to...see you...try it...without...floating...all invisible like.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Fine!ÔÇØ Gitta sniffed.
ÔÇ£Fine!ÔÇØ Daniel snapped back. There was a moment's pause...and then Gitta walked in through the front doors. She looked lovely as ever, with fine blond hair, great body, cute face...but she walked in sans wings. She was still wearing her flowing white robe thing, and was already getting weird looks.
ÔÇ£Um...we should get you to the clothes shop.ÔÇØ Daniel muttered. He stood and his feet complained, loudly. ÔÇ£Come on!ÔÇØ
Together they walked down the mall's main promenade, Daniel steadily ignoring the looks. Though, actually, he got less than he'd expected. That confused him for a bit till...oh right! Halloween was only a few days away! He mentioned that too Gitta and she grinned.
ÔÇ£Hey, cool! I can have my wings out in public!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah! Now, keep an eye out for a clothing sho-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That one looks like it sells clothes.ÔÇØ Gitta grinned, pointing at Victoria's secret.
ÔÇ£U...I...uh...ÔÇØ Daniel stammered. ÔÇ£B-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I need support anyway. Come on!ÔÇØ Gitta dragged him forward.
ÔÇ£Welcome to Victoria's secret!ÔÇØ The wall said. Normally, walls talking were not all that, well, usual. But Victoria's secret, alongside Apple stores and those places that sell AT&T Phones had started adopting the latest in whizz bang future technology. IN this case, a wall that projected a three dimensional image by varying the color of microscopic tiles to create a hyper-high resolution mirage effect.
In the end, it ended up looking exactly like a human cashier. But this one never got cranky, tired, or forgot anything.
It also looked really really cool. Daniel spent a few seconds moving his head from side to side to watch the effect on the projection, even as Gitta started laying out what she needed.
ÔÇ£Well, if you come with me,ÔÇØ The projection said, splitting in half so that one could smile vacantly at Daniel and the other could ÔÇ£walkÔÇØ with Gitta. ÔÇ£Do you want to try our new cybertech bra?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ooh, whats cybertech?ÔÇØ
Daniel sighed, glancing out the window. He frowned, slowly. Was...that the old guy?
Flashback: Daniel blinked. An old man...selling newspapers. That was not something someone saw every day. Specially not ten years after the last newspaper went out of business. He jogged over to the slowly tottering along old man
The old man kicked out his kickstand and turned his withered face to look at Daniel. He had a single blue eye...and his other eye had to be some kind of early Halloween costume. It was an overly large...screw bolt, one that gleamed in the sunlight.
ÔÇ£Why hello there boyo,ÔÇØ The old man wheezed. ÔÇ£You look like someone who's...lost.ÔÇØ
Daniel, before he knew it, was pushing out of the door and into the gym. The crowd swarmed up, then parted oddly, allowing him to just barely slip through. He stood before the old man, not exactly sure why he was standing there or what he was going to say.
ÔÇ£Hello there, boyo.ÔÇØ The old man said in that wheezy and yet totally hear-able voice. He looked up and that screw he had for an eye gleamed in the florescent lights of the mall. ÔÇ£You look like you've found your path.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Uh, who are you?ÔÇØ Daniel asked, feeling a ball of ice in his gut.
ÔÇ£I have a lot of names...ÔÇØ The old man grinned. ÔÇ£You can call me...Old...S-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Scratch?ÔÇØ Daniel whispered, suddenly afraid. Angels first, why no-
ÔÇ£Screweye, lad.ÔÇØ The man laughed, wheezily.
For some reason, that didn't help Daniel's panic at all. He backed up. Old Screweye/Scratch stood up, grinning wide. Daniel turned around and walked away, biting his lip.
He waked into Victoria's secret. ÔÇ£Uh, where is my friend? Gitta?ÔÇØ He asked the projection.
ÔÇ£Back there-ÔÇØ The projection pointed and Daniel waked off before she could finished.
Daniel strode to the changing room. He was tempted, really tempted, to just open the door and pretend he hadn't thought that Gitta be half naked (or fully naked). But, well, Daniel was at heart, a gentleman. Kinda. He drew the line at deliberately barging in on girls who were changing. Specially ones with supernatural powers.
So, he just knocked on the door. ÔÇ£Gitta!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Wow, it really does support more than the other one!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Gitta!ÔÇØ Daniel said, louder.
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Uh...Satan is outside.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£VHAT!?ÔÇØ
And now, we have more fun stuff!
###
The Angel bopped his head with her hand, scowling.
ÔÇ£Kidding! Kidding! I was kidding!ÔÇØ He covered his head. ÔÇ£Gitta is good!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay then.ÔÇØ The Angel ÔÇô Gitta ÔÇô nodded. ÔÇ£Gitta it is!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Cool.ÔÇØ Danil bowed. ÔÇ£Thank you, Gitta, for this breakfast. It smells like its going to be absolutely delicious.ÔÇØ
Gitta preened, flipping one of the German pancakes to a plate, adding a sprinkling of powdered sugar, and voila! Daniel tucked in, even as Gitta cooked up her own pancake. And Daniel found that...well...it was delicious. Really really delicious.
ÔÇ£Mmn!ÔÇØ He groaned. ÔÇ£I'll have to cook you dinner.ÔÇØ He swallowed. ÔÇ£I'll make some of my pappa's traditional neo-burgers.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Neo-burgers?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ah ah ah!ÔÇØ Daniel held up a finger and grinned. ÔÇ£Its a secret, you're just gonna have to wait till the end of the day.ÔÇØ
The An...Gitta stuck her tongue out at him.
After breakfast, the two of them dressed. And by that I mean Daniel tugged on some shoes and walked out the front door, locked it, then The A...Gitta ghosted through the wall.
ÔÇ£This...is gonna be quite a walk.ÔÇØ Daniel sighed. ÔÇ£God I wish for a car.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£ said no, you need a license.ÔÇØ Gitta stuck her tongue out at him.
Daniel started. ÔÇ£You...can talk right to him? Er...blank?ÔÇØ
There was a soft giggle from the air, which sounded way way creepier than it should have been. It must have been totally because she was invisible.
ÔÇ£Pl...eeease,ÔÇØ Daniel shivered. ÔÇ£Don't do that.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Giggle like some kind of evil ghost girl.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh.ÔÇØ She paused, then started to sing softly and creepily.
In German.
Daniel put his hands over his ears. ÔÇ£You're a real sadist!ÔÇØ He grumbled.
Gitta burst into full throated laughter, which was less creepy than ghostly giggles.
Daniel popped his hands off his ears, even as he continued to walk along the streets of suburbia. ÔÇ£So, uh, why did you get me anyway? Like, before I started my crazy plot to re-write the Bible, going against the natural order and so on and so forth?ÔÇØ
She sighed. ÔÇ£Well, um, I kinda got demoted from Guardianship too...ÔÇØ She paused. ÔÇ£Prayer handling.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Prayer handling?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. Well, basically, the Big can't handle every prayer out there. I mean, lots of them are completely irrelevant. People pray a lot more than you'd think, often entirely by accident.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Huh.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, so, Prayer Handlers read the prayers, then decide to either pass them on up...or just dump them down the Chance Chute.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right. So, I'm like, you're big break?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Pretty much.ÔÇØ Gitta sighed and her voice moved from the right side of Daniel to the left, as though she was swooping from side to side. ÔÇ£First big break in almost eighty years.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Wow.ÔÇØ Daniel bit his lip. ÔÇ£Well, I'll do my best to be not evil.ÔÇØ
She snorted. ÔÇ£Daniel, I've got a newsflash for you...no one ever TRIES to be evil. They start off doing the best for their people. Then they think, say, it'll be a great idea to do this that or the other thing. Then they're in over their heads and before you know it, BAM! Everyone's dead.ÔÇØ
Daniel shivered at the bitterness in her voice. ÔÇ£G...Gitta, are you okay?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What? Me?ÔÇØ She sounded like she was gritting her teeth. ÔÇ£I'm fine.ÔÇØ
Daniel kept his trap shut as he continued waking. As he had said, it was going to be quite a walk. He had left out any qualifiers there, cause if he had put ÔÇ£veryÔÇØ and ÔÇ£longÔÇØ in there, it might have taken longer. Okay, that didn't really make sense, but he clung to that idea, and lo and behold...the walk took forever.
ÔÇ£Ugh,ÔÇØ He groaned as he finally staggered into the mall, his feet aching. ÔÇ£I need to sit down.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You call that a walk?ÔÇØ Gitta snorted.
ÔÇ£Hey!ÔÇØ Daniel wagged his finger in what he hoped was the vague direction of Gitta's voice. ÔÇ£I...'d like...to...see you...try it...without...floating...all invisible like.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Fine!ÔÇØ Gitta sniffed.
ÔÇ£Fine!ÔÇØ Daniel snapped back. There was a moment's pause...and then Gitta walked in through the front doors. She looked lovely as ever, with fine blond hair, great body, cute face...but she walked in sans wings. She was still wearing her flowing white robe thing, and was already getting weird looks.
ÔÇ£Um...we should get you to the clothes shop.ÔÇØ Daniel muttered. He stood and his feet complained, loudly. ÔÇ£Come on!ÔÇØ
Together they walked down the mall's main promenade, Daniel steadily ignoring the looks. Though, actually, he got less than he'd expected. That confused him for a bit till...oh right! Halloween was only a few days away! He mentioned that too Gitta and she grinned.
ÔÇ£Hey, cool! I can have my wings out in public!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah! Now, keep an eye out for a clothing sho-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That one looks like it sells clothes.ÔÇØ Gitta grinned, pointing at Victoria's secret.
ÔÇ£U...I...uh...ÔÇØ Daniel stammered. ÔÇ£B-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I need support anyway. Come on!ÔÇØ Gitta dragged him forward.
ÔÇ£Welcome to Victoria's secret!ÔÇØ The wall said. Normally, walls talking were not all that, well, usual. But Victoria's secret, alongside Apple stores and those places that sell AT&T Phones had started adopting the latest in whizz bang future technology. IN this case, a wall that projected a three dimensional image by varying the color of microscopic tiles to create a hyper-high resolution mirage effect.
In the end, it ended up looking exactly like a human cashier. But this one never got cranky, tired, or forgot anything.
It also looked really really cool. Daniel spent a few seconds moving his head from side to side to watch the effect on the projection, even as Gitta started laying out what she needed.
ÔÇ£Well, if you come with me,ÔÇØ The projection said, splitting in half so that one could smile vacantly at Daniel and the other could ÔÇ£walkÔÇØ with Gitta. ÔÇ£Do you want to try our new cybertech bra?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ooh, whats cybertech?ÔÇØ
Daniel sighed, glancing out the window. He frowned, slowly. Was...that the old guy?
Flashback: Daniel blinked. An old man...selling newspapers. That was not something someone saw every day. Specially not ten years after the last newspaper went out of business. He jogged over to the slowly tottering along old man
The old man kicked out his kickstand and turned his withered face to look at Daniel. He had a single blue eye...and his other eye had to be some kind of early Halloween costume. It was an overly large...screw bolt, one that gleamed in the sunlight.
ÔÇ£Why hello there boyo,ÔÇØ The old man wheezed. ÔÇ£You look like someone who's...lost.ÔÇØ
Daniel, before he knew it, was pushing out of the door and into the gym. The crowd swarmed up, then parted oddly, allowing him to just barely slip through. He stood before the old man, not exactly sure why he was standing there or what he was going to say.
ÔÇ£Hello there, boyo.ÔÇØ The old man said in that wheezy and yet totally hear-able voice. He looked up and that screw he had for an eye gleamed in the florescent lights of the mall. ÔÇ£You look like you've found your path.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Uh, who are you?ÔÇØ Daniel asked, feeling a ball of ice in his gut.
ÔÇ£I have a lot of names...ÔÇØ The old man grinned. ÔÇ£You can call me...Old...S-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Scratch?ÔÇØ Daniel whispered, suddenly afraid. Angels first, why no-
ÔÇ£Screweye, lad.ÔÇØ The man laughed, wheezily.
For some reason, that didn't help Daniel's panic at all. He backed up. Old Screweye/Scratch stood up, grinning wide. Daniel turned around and walked away, biting his lip.
He waked into Victoria's secret. ÔÇ£Uh, where is my friend? Gitta?ÔÇØ He asked the projection.
ÔÇ£Back there-ÔÇØ The projection pointed and Daniel waked off before she could finished.
Daniel strode to the changing room. He was tempted, really tempted, to just open the door and pretend he hadn't thought that Gitta be half naked (or fully naked). But, well, Daniel was at heart, a gentleman. Kinda. He drew the line at deliberately barging in on girls who were changing. Specially ones with supernatural powers.
So, he just knocked on the door. ÔÇ£Gitta!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Wow, it really does support more than the other one!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Gitta!ÔÇØ Daniel said, louder.
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Uh...Satan is outside.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£VHAT!?ÔÇØ
-
Forboding Angel
- Evolution RTS Developer
- Posts: 14673
- Joined: 17 Nov 2005, 02:43
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
hehe awesome ;p
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
In these kinds of stories, Satan shows up, usually fairly on. And most of the time, I'm like, "HEY, CHARACTERS! THAT'S SATAN!? CAN'T YOU TELL! ITS SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN!"
And so, in my story, they are genera savvy enough to notice Satan.
And so, in my story, they are genera savvy enough to notice Satan.
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
On an off note, do you happen to have read this book?
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
The door burst open and Gitta stuck her head out, hiding behind the lip of the door so Daniel didn't get to see exactly how a cybertech bra supported better than a regular one. ÔÇ£Like...Satan Satan? Old Scratch? The Angel of Darkness? The Old Serpent? Lord of Pandemonium? The Cloven Foot!? Mephistopheles?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£B...the Cloven foot?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, they used that one back in the 12th century.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh.ÔÇØ Daniel blinked. ÔÇ£Huh. Well. Yeah! He's right outside!ÔÇØ He pointed out the window.
ÔÇ£Okay, okay, okay, don't panic.ÔÇØ Gitta was putting her clothes on, ducked behind the wall of the changing room. ÔÇ£He can't actually do anything to us...ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£R-Really? ÔÇ£
ÔÇ£Well, um, are you attached to your immortal soul?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£If it exists, YES!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay, never mind, he can actually do quite a lot to us...if we're not careful.ÔÇØ She gritted her teeth. ÔÇ£Das ist nicht gut.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay.ÔÇØ Gitta stepped out of the room...and wow, her breasts looked lot...perkier. ÔÇ£Lets go.ÔÇØ
Together, they creeped towards the side exit of the store. Gitta reached into the emergency alarm thing and turned it off so they alarm wouldn't go off. Daniel crawled through and Gitta paused, glancing around. ÔÇ£I...don't see Satan anywhere.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£He was right here, on the bench!ÔÇØ Daniel poked his arm through the door and pointed at the bench.
The old man was gone.
ÔÇ£Well son of a bitch,ÔÇØ Daniel muttered. ÔÇ£He must have up and left.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Are you sure it was Satan?ÔÇØ Gitta murmured, re-enabaling the alarm.
ÔÇ£Yeah! I'm sure! He was this creepy old guy, and it was like he was just about to like...I dunnkow, do whatever Satan does.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay, calm down. Satan was just an Angel before he Fell. He might have been God's favorite son, bu-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Wait, God? I thought you called him/it/whatever the Big .ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What? Oh yeah. God and the Big are completely different.ÔÇØ
Daniel sighed, slowly, closing his eyes. ÔÇ£Okay, explain the difference.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£The Big is at the top. God, Allah, the Jewish God of the Old Testament, Buddha, Shinto Spirits, and so on...they're all real.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So you're saying that every world religion is right? What about when they contradict one another? And what about when science finds new evidence and-ÔÇØ
Gitta shrugged. ÔÇ£It just kinda works, I guess.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So, you work for...ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£The Big , subcontracted under God.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right. So that's why you have wings and stuff. But, uh, is there an atheist thing?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Chance and Science have their divisions, sure.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So...not that I don't like you or anything but, uh, why didn't they send someone from there?ÔÇØ
She snorted. ÔÇ£Daniel...you're American.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. I'm also an atheist.ÔÇØ Daniel put his hand on his chest. ÔÇ£Atheist.ÔÇØ
Gitta nodded. ÔÇ£Right. An American Atheist.ÔÇØ
Daniel scowled.
ÔÇ£Anywho,ÔÇØ Gitta sighed. ÔÇ£Satan, if he was here, has skedaddled. Shall we continue shopping?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Continue shopping?ÔÇØ Daniel looked around, as if the whole world had gone mad. ÔÇ£You...want to continue shopping? After the...we...ÔÇØ He blinked. ÔÇ£Satan!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, I know, but, well, Satan kinda comes and goes as he wishes. And, well, really, we only have two defenses. The first is running.ÔÇØ
Daniel nodded.
ÔÇ£The second is to remember what a million billion PSAs have told you.ÔÇØ Gitta waggled her finger under his nose. ÔÇ£Just. Say. No!ÔÇØ
He blinked. ÔÇ£Just...say no?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Evil, external and tricky evil as Satan comes, is usually voluntary. But, hey, he showed his hand too early and we can use that for our advantage!ÔÇØ She grinned. ÔÇ£He can't catch us off guard with seemingly reasonable contracts or agreements. Just. Say. No!ÔÇØ
Daniel nodded again. ÔÇ£Right. Okay. I can do that. Are you sure he can't drag me bodily down to hell?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Mostly!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Good enough for me!ÔÇØ Daniel sighed. ÔÇ£Well, if that's the worst evil the universe can throw at me, well, I'm pretty happy. I mean, its easy to just say no, its not like we're dealing with Cthulu here.ÔÇØ
Gitta looked down and to the side.
ÔÇ£We...don't have to deal with Cthulu do we?ÔÇØ Daniel's stomach slowly did a flip flop.
Gitta was silent. Then, she smiled. ÔÇ£Lets go shopping!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You expect me to-ÔÇØ
Gitta locked eyes with him, silencing him with a single gaze. ÔÇ£Listen. There are more spheres of the supernatural and natural than either of us can imagine. The universe holds wonders and terrors beyond mortal and immortal imagination.ÔÇØ She sighed. ÔÇ£Look for the wonders, try to skip around the terrors...and when someone tells you that you have gone to the edge between discovery and darkness, between truth and madness...stop. Turn around. And go home.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£B-but-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£No buts.ÔÇØ Gitta laid her finger on his chest, pushing him back slightly. ÔÇ£Every single Lovecraft and Lovecraft inspired character EVER has said but, and how have they all ended up?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Insane.ÔÇØ Daniel muttered.
ÔÇ£Exactly.ÔÇØ Gitta sounded so condescending and smug that Daniel wanted to smack her. He settled instead for scowling at her.
ÔÇ£Gitta,ÔÇØ Daniel closed his eyes. ÔÇ£I...okay, you're really cheesing me off right now.ÔÇØ
Gitta blinked. ÔÇ£Cheesing?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Irritating. Pissing me off!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh.ÔÇØ She paused. ÔÇ£Sorry, but...its for your own good.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Isn't that like, the road to hell? For other people's own good?ÔÇØ Daniel knew he was mangling the phrase, but he didn't particularly care.
Gitta jerked back, as though she HAD been smacked. She gulped. ÔÇ£I...ÔÇØ She closed her mouth. ÔÇ£I'm...sorry.ÔÇØ She whispered. Her eyes shone slightly, as though she...she was about to cry.
Daniel looked at her for a few seconds. He bit his lip, then put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing slowly. ÔÇ£I...ÔÇØ He whispered. ÔÇ£I'm sorry too.ÔÇØ
She sniffed, then turned away, jerking her shoulder from his grip. She drew in a slow, shuddering gasp, and sighed, still facing away from him. ÔÇ£You're right.ÔÇØ
Daniel wanted to hug her. He wanted to fold his arms around her and squeeze her tight, burying his face in her hair. He wanted to do a lot more than that, but those thoughts were all very selfish. Okay, so was the hugging, but it was less selfish.
But instead, he just stood there, feeling like an idiot, till finally he could only open his mouth and utter the most banal thing he could think of. ÔÇ£Lets finish shopping.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay!ÔÇØ Gitta sounded bright, turning around. ÔÇ£That sounds good!ÔÇØ Her cheeks were a bit puffy, but she wasn't near to tears now.
And together, they went to Macy's. Together, they picked out shirts, jeans, and so on. The only really eventful thing that happened was Gitta got a shirt with a little red devil on it, which she found inordinately amusing.
Together, they walked home, mostly chatting about things like the weather, food, and, well, anything else that wasn't related to heaven, hell, the Bible, or anything else supernatural.
ÔÇ£So, do you like movies?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Eeh.ÔÇØ She shrugged. ÔÇ£They were never as good as Hitchcock. Ever seen Hitchcock?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That's like, have you ever seen James Cameron. Of course I've seen Hitchcock!ÔÇØ
She grinned. ÔÇ£Let me guess...Vertigo?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Nope.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ooh?ÔÇØ She paused, biting her lip. ÔÇ£Birds?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Nope.ÔÇØ He glanced from side to side, almost conspiratorially. ÔÇ£If you ask me-ÔÇØ His voice dropped to a whisper. ÔÇ£-Its all about Rope.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You loved Rope?ÔÇØ Gitta sounded amazed. ÔÇ£That was my favorite too!ÔÇØ
Daniel nodded, laughing as they quoted their favorite lines at one another, both of them hamming it up. Which was odd, seeing as Rope was and always would be a suspense film. Daniel didn't care though. He was talking with a pretty girl, and she liked Rope.
And that was all that mattered.
ÔÇ£Vertigo was overhyped to me, really.ÔÇØ Gitta said as they walked up to Daniel's house. ÔÇ£By the time I saw it, everyone had raved about how great it was...but, well, it just kinda dragged.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Not that much, I just didn't really engage with the characters.ÔÇØ Daniel shrugged. ÔÇ£I guess its just a taste thing, eh?ÔÇØ
The door opened up and Daniel tossed the bag of clothes to the floor, groaning. ÔÇ£And did I mention that bag is way too heavy for a bunch of clothes?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Only fifty times.ÔÇØ Gitta stuck her tongue out, grabbing up the bag as Daniel stretched out his aching calves. She looked frustratingly bouncy and not-at-all tired. ÔÇ£See, it was just a walk.ÔÇØ
Daniel flopped into his chair and closed his eyes.
ÔÇ£So,ÔÇØ Gitta patted his head. ÔÇ£I'm going to get dressed, then we can work some on the Bible...then you get to bed. You have school tomorrow.ÔÇØ
Daniel groaned. ÔÇ£Don't remind me!ÔÇØ
Chapter Negative Three: Cindi Pakowski's Incredibly Breasts.
Daniel and Tybalt sat in the corner of the bleachers and tried to look like they were cheering while actually doing as little as possible.
See, Daniel and Tybalt both went to Meadow High, and Meadow High was very proud of their basketball team. Very creepily proud.
Which was why every class was jammed into the gymnasium for a Pep Rally, where the basketball players strutted around, people cheered, and general hooplaw went on and on. Now, the smart kids usually ducked out of these things, but Daniel and Tybalt were both there for very special reasons.
Tybalt was there for Jorge Cruz, the star basketball player. In an objective way, Daniel could see why. Jorge was tall, sleek, handsome as sin, and buff. He moved with an easy grace, even as the cheer leaders and Student Run Services Officers shouted out the normal stuff people shouted in pep rallies, things about how awesome Meadow High is, how they would crush their enemies (Jonstenburg High, about three blocks away), and so on and so forth.
And yes, most students did forget to mention the ÔÇ£runÔÇØ in Student Run Services.
Jorge Cruz spun the ball on his finger, then flipped his wrist and sent the ball hurtling up in a perfect arc. It ran along the rim once, twice, three times...then dropped through the net with a swoosh!
The crowd cheered, even as Tybalt elbowed Daniel. ÔÇ£He's such a dream!ÔÇØ He whispered.
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ Daniel shouted back, the cheering in the enclosed gymnasium deafening him.
ÔÇ£He's such a dream!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I'll take your word for it!ÔÇØ
But then the reason why Daniel was here popped to the top of a pyramid.
Cindi Pakowski.
She was...indescribable. Long, brilliant red hair, perfect skin, bright green eyes, a smile you could only watch through smoked glass, a nuclear bomb shell of a body.
And, of course, her breasts.
They were, without a doubt, the best breasts on campus. Prolly off campus too. If they ran for office, they would win. If hotness could be translated to energy, they would spurt out gamma rays like a faulty nuclear reactor. No one had ever actually SEEN them (though four out of five boys had convincing stories about peeking a glimpse at them through varying and increasingly insane ways). But, even wrapped up in a cheerleader outfit...no, specially wrapped up in a cheerleader outfit, they were a sight to melt the heart.
ÔÇ£I really don't get it.ÔÇØ Tybalt shattered the effect. ÔÇ£They're just kinda mounds.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Don't even try, Tibby.ÔÇØ Daniel sighed, softly. ÔÇ£Just keep watching Cruz' ass.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Can do!ÔÇØ Tybalt leaned forward, grinning, even as Cindi clapped her hands and shouted.
ÔÇ£GO DANDELIONS GO!ÔÇØ
The pyramid suffered a controlled collapsed and she fell into the waiting arms of her cheerleading compatriots.
It was then that Daniel said the thing that echoed through the annals of history and time as the most insane thing ever spoken by a nerd.
ÔÇ£I'm going to ask Cindi Pakowski out to the All Hallows Dance.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That sounds fun.ÔÇØ Tybalt muttered, a little too distracted by a sweaty team of basketball players slapping each other in a totally heterosexual way on the back, and sharing completely heterosexual hugs and saying totally heterosexual things to one another as they dumped (in a completely heterosexual way) water over eachother's heads to help cool off.
Daniel stood up. ÔÇ£Right. Now.ÔÇØ He said, voice holding a peculiar kind of madness.
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ Tybalt looked up as Daniel leaped down the stairs of the bleachers as people started to file out the gymnasium.
Daniel got to the bottom and strode over to the cheerleaders.
ÔÇ£So, that was great guys!ÔÇØ Cindi said, her voice as bright and cheerful as ever. ÔÇ£We really pumped up their spirit!ÔÇØ
They all nodded.
ÔÇ£Okay, lets go and change and we can get ready for study hall period.ÔÇØ
A chorus of 'yeahs' and other general comments came from the cheerleaders and they started walking off, chatting to one another. Cindi reached down to grab her backpack, then noticed Daniel.
She smiled and Daniel almost went blind. Daniel blinked the sparkles away from his eyes, blushing. The madness that had compelled him here vanished and for a moment, he thought about running away. But then, he opened his mouth and to his overwhelming shock, WORDS came out.
ÔÇ£Hi, I'm Daniel Danton. Wanna g-go to t-the All Hallows Dance with me?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Daniel Danton?ÔÇØ She asked. ÔÇ£You're that guy...who heads that Shadowrun Club?ÔÇØ
He was floored. Not only did she remember his name but also his position but she also remembered the actual NAME of the game! Most students that weren't in the know just called it Dungeons and Dragons and didn't understand why the members of the club got angry at them. ÔÇ£K-Kinda,ÔÇØ He stammered.
ÔÇ£Well,ÔÇØ Cindi bit her lip, thinking. ÔÇ£Sure! I don't have anyone else to go with. Well, at least no one as nice as you.ÔÇØ
Daniel fainted.
ÔÇ£B...the Cloven foot?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, they used that one back in the 12th century.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh.ÔÇØ Daniel blinked. ÔÇ£Huh. Well. Yeah! He's right outside!ÔÇØ He pointed out the window.
ÔÇ£Okay, okay, okay, don't panic.ÔÇØ Gitta was putting her clothes on, ducked behind the wall of the changing room. ÔÇ£He can't actually do anything to us...ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£R-Really? ÔÇ£
ÔÇ£Well, um, are you attached to your immortal soul?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£If it exists, YES!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay, never mind, he can actually do quite a lot to us...if we're not careful.ÔÇØ She gritted her teeth. ÔÇ£Das ist nicht gut.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay.ÔÇØ Gitta stepped out of the room...and wow, her breasts looked lot...perkier. ÔÇ£Lets go.ÔÇØ
Together, they creeped towards the side exit of the store. Gitta reached into the emergency alarm thing and turned it off so they alarm wouldn't go off. Daniel crawled through and Gitta paused, glancing around. ÔÇ£I...don't see Satan anywhere.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£He was right here, on the bench!ÔÇØ Daniel poked his arm through the door and pointed at the bench.
The old man was gone.
ÔÇ£Well son of a bitch,ÔÇØ Daniel muttered. ÔÇ£He must have up and left.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Are you sure it was Satan?ÔÇØ Gitta murmured, re-enabaling the alarm.
ÔÇ£Yeah! I'm sure! He was this creepy old guy, and it was like he was just about to like...I dunnkow, do whatever Satan does.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay, calm down. Satan was just an Angel before he Fell. He might have been God's favorite son, bu-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Wait, God? I thought you called him/it/whatever the Big .ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£What? Oh yeah. God and the Big are completely different.ÔÇØ
Daniel sighed, slowly, closing his eyes. ÔÇ£Okay, explain the difference.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£The Big is at the top. God, Allah, the Jewish God of the Old Testament, Buddha, Shinto Spirits, and so on...they're all real.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So you're saying that every world religion is right? What about when they contradict one another? And what about when science finds new evidence and-ÔÇØ
Gitta shrugged. ÔÇ£It just kinda works, I guess.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So, you work for...ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£The Big , subcontracted under God.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right. So that's why you have wings and stuff. But, uh, is there an atheist thing?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Chance and Science have their divisions, sure.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So...not that I don't like you or anything but, uh, why didn't they send someone from there?ÔÇØ
She snorted. ÔÇ£Daniel...you're American.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. I'm also an atheist.ÔÇØ Daniel put his hand on his chest. ÔÇ£Atheist.ÔÇØ
Gitta nodded. ÔÇ£Right. An American Atheist.ÔÇØ
Daniel scowled.
ÔÇ£Anywho,ÔÇØ Gitta sighed. ÔÇ£Satan, if he was here, has skedaddled. Shall we continue shopping?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Continue shopping?ÔÇØ Daniel looked around, as if the whole world had gone mad. ÔÇ£You...want to continue shopping? After the...we...ÔÇØ He blinked. ÔÇ£Satan!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, I know, but, well, Satan kinda comes and goes as he wishes. And, well, really, we only have two defenses. The first is running.ÔÇØ
Daniel nodded.
ÔÇ£The second is to remember what a million billion PSAs have told you.ÔÇØ Gitta waggled her finger under his nose. ÔÇ£Just. Say. No!ÔÇØ
He blinked. ÔÇ£Just...say no?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Evil, external and tricky evil as Satan comes, is usually voluntary. But, hey, he showed his hand too early and we can use that for our advantage!ÔÇØ She grinned. ÔÇ£He can't catch us off guard with seemingly reasonable contracts or agreements. Just. Say. No!ÔÇØ
Daniel nodded again. ÔÇ£Right. Okay. I can do that. Are you sure he can't drag me bodily down to hell?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Mostly!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Good enough for me!ÔÇØ Daniel sighed. ÔÇ£Well, if that's the worst evil the universe can throw at me, well, I'm pretty happy. I mean, its easy to just say no, its not like we're dealing with Cthulu here.ÔÇØ
Gitta looked down and to the side.
ÔÇ£We...don't have to deal with Cthulu do we?ÔÇØ Daniel's stomach slowly did a flip flop.
Gitta was silent. Then, she smiled. ÔÇ£Lets go shopping!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You expect me to-ÔÇØ
Gitta locked eyes with him, silencing him with a single gaze. ÔÇ£Listen. There are more spheres of the supernatural and natural than either of us can imagine. The universe holds wonders and terrors beyond mortal and immortal imagination.ÔÇØ She sighed. ÔÇ£Look for the wonders, try to skip around the terrors...and when someone tells you that you have gone to the edge between discovery and darkness, between truth and madness...stop. Turn around. And go home.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£B-but-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£No buts.ÔÇØ Gitta laid her finger on his chest, pushing him back slightly. ÔÇ£Every single Lovecraft and Lovecraft inspired character EVER has said but, and how have they all ended up?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Insane.ÔÇØ Daniel muttered.
ÔÇ£Exactly.ÔÇØ Gitta sounded so condescending and smug that Daniel wanted to smack her. He settled instead for scowling at her.
ÔÇ£Gitta,ÔÇØ Daniel closed his eyes. ÔÇ£I...okay, you're really cheesing me off right now.ÔÇØ
Gitta blinked. ÔÇ£Cheesing?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Irritating. Pissing me off!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh.ÔÇØ She paused. ÔÇ£Sorry, but...its for your own good.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Isn't that like, the road to hell? For other people's own good?ÔÇØ Daniel knew he was mangling the phrase, but he didn't particularly care.
Gitta jerked back, as though she HAD been smacked. She gulped. ÔÇ£I...ÔÇØ She closed her mouth. ÔÇ£I'm...sorry.ÔÇØ She whispered. Her eyes shone slightly, as though she...she was about to cry.
Daniel looked at her for a few seconds. He bit his lip, then put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing slowly. ÔÇ£I...ÔÇØ He whispered. ÔÇ£I'm sorry too.ÔÇØ
She sniffed, then turned away, jerking her shoulder from his grip. She drew in a slow, shuddering gasp, and sighed, still facing away from him. ÔÇ£You're right.ÔÇØ
Daniel wanted to hug her. He wanted to fold his arms around her and squeeze her tight, burying his face in her hair. He wanted to do a lot more than that, but those thoughts were all very selfish. Okay, so was the hugging, but it was less selfish.
But instead, he just stood there, feeling like an idiot, till finally he could only open his mouth and utter the most banal thing he could think of. ÔÇ£Lets finish shopping.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Okay!ÔÇØ Gitta sounded bright, turning around. ÔÇ£That sounds good!ÔÇØ Her cheeks were a bit puffy, but she wasn't near to tears now.
And together, they went to Macy's. Together, they picked out shirts, jeans, and so on. The only really eventful thing that happened was Gitta got a shirt with a little red devil on it, which she found inordinately amusing.
Together, they walked home, mostly chatting about things like the weather, food, and, well, anything else that wasn't related to heaven, hell, the Bible, or anything else supernatural.
ÔÇ£So, do you like movies?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Eeh.ÔÇØ She shrugged. ÔÇ£They were never as good as Hitchcock. Ever seen Hitchcock?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That's like, have you ever seen James Cameron. Of course I've seen Hitchcock!ÔÇØ
She grinned. ÔÇ£Let me guess...Vertigo?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Nope.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ooh?ÔÇØ She paused, biting her lip. ÔÇ£Birds?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Nope.ÔÇØ He glanced from side to side, almost conspiratorially. ÔÇ£If you ask me-ÔÇØ His voice dropped to a whisper. ÔÇ£-Its all about Rope.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£You loved Rope?ÔÇØ Gitta sounded amazed. ÔÇ£That was my favorite too!ÔÇØ
Daniel nodded, laughing as they quoted their favorite lines at one another, both of them hamming it up. Which was odd, seeing as Rope was and always would be a suspense film. Daniel didn't care though. He was talking with a pretty girl, and she liked Rope.
And that was all that mattered.
ÔÇ£Vertigo was overhyped to me, really.ÔÇØ Gitta said as they walked up to Daniel's house. ÔÇ£By the time I saw it, everyone had raved about how great it was...but, well, it just kinda dragged.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Not that much, I just didn't really engage with the characters.ÔÇØ Daniel shrugged. ÔÇ£I guess its just a taste thing, eh?ÔÇØ
The door opened up and Daniel tossed the bag of clothes to the floor, groaning. ÔÇ£And did I mention that bag is way too heavy for a bunch of clothes?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Only fifty times.ÔÇØ Gitta stuck her tongue out, grabbing up the bag as Daniel stretched out his aching calves. She looked frustratingly bouncy and not-at-all tired. ÔÇ£See, it was just a walk.ÔÇØ
Daniel flopped into his chair and closed his eyes.
ÔÇ£So,ÔÇØ Gitta patted his head. ÔÇ£I'm going to get dressed, then we can work some on the Bible...then you get to bed. You have school tomorrow.ÔÇØ
Daniel groaned. ÔÇ£Don't remind me!ÔÇØ
Chapter Negative Three: Cindi Pakowski's Incredibly Breasts.
Daniel and Tybalt sat in the corner of the bleachers and tried to look like they were cheering while actually doing as little as possible.
See, Daniel and Tybalt both went to Meadow High, and Meadow High was very proud of their basketball team. Very creepily proud.
Which was why every class was jammed into the gymnasium for a Pep Rally, where the basketball players strutted around, people cheered, and general hooplaw went on and on. Now, the smart kids usually ducked out of these things, but Daniel and Tybalt were both there for very special reasons.
Tybalt was there for Jorge Cruz, the star basketball player. In an objective way, Daniel could see why. Jorge was tall, sleek, handsome as sin, and buff. He moved with an easy grace, even as the cheer leaders and Student Run Services Officers shouted out the normal stuff people shouted in pep rallies, things about how awesome Meadow High is, how they would crush their enemies (Jonstenburg High, about three blocks away), and so on and so forth.
And yes, most students did forget to mention the ÔÇ£runÔÇØ in Student Run Services.
Jorge Cruz spun the ball on his finger, then flipped his wrist and sent the ball hurtling up in a perfect arc. It ran along the rim once, twice, three times...then dropped through the net with a swoosh!
The crowd cheered, even as Tybalt elbowed Daniel. ÔÇ£He's such a dream!ÔÇØ He whispered.
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ Daniel shouted back, the cheering in the enclosed gymnasium deafening him.
ÔÇ£He's such a dream!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I'll take your word for it!ÔÇØ
But then the reason why Daniel was here popped to the top of a pyramid.
Cindi Pakowski.
She was...indescribable. Long, brilliant red hair, perfect skin, bright green eyes, a smile you could only watch through smoked glass, a nuclear bomb shell of a body.
And, of course, her breasts.
They were, without a doubt, the best breasts on campus. Prolly off campus too. If they ran for office, they would win. If hotness could be translated to energy, they would spurt out gamma rays like a faulty nuclear reactor. No one had ever actually SEEN them (though four out of five boys had convincing stories about peeking a glimpse at them through varying and increasingly insane ways). But, even wrapped up in a cheerleader outfit...no, specially wrapped up in a cheerleader outfit, they were a sight to melt the heart.
ÔÇ£I really don't get it.ÔÇØ Tybalt shattered the effect. ÔÇ£They're just kinda mounds.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Don't even try, Tibby.ÔÇØ Daniel sighed, softly. ÔÇ£Just keep watching Cruz' ass.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Can do!ÔÇØ Tybalt leaned forward, grinning, even as Cindi clapped her hands and shouted.
ÔÇ£GO DANDELIONS GO!ÔÇØ
The pyramid suffered a controlled collapsed and she fell into the waiting arms of her cheerleading compatriots.
It was then that Daniel said the thing that echoed through the annals of history and time as the most insane thing ever spoken by a nerd.
ÔÇ£I'm going to ask Cindi Pakowski out to the All Hallows Dance.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That sounds fun.ÔÇØ Tybalt muttered, a little too distracted by a sweaty team of basketball players slapping each other in a totally heterosexual way on the back, and sharing completely heterosexual hugs and saying totally heterosexual things to one another as they dumped (in a completely heterosexual way) water over eachother's heads to help cool off.
Daniel stood up. ÔÇ£Right. Now.ÔÇØ He said, voice holding a peculiar kind of madness.
ÔÇ£What?ÔÇØ Tybalt looked up as Daniel leaped down the stairs of the bleachers as people started to file out the gymnasium.
Daniel got to the bottom and strode over to the cheerleaders.
ÔÇ£So, that was great guys!ÔÇØ Cindi said, her voice as bright and cheerful as ever. ÔÇ£We really pumped up their spirit!ÔÇØ
They all nodded.
ÔÇ£Okay, lets go and change and we can get ready for study hall period.ÔÇØ
A chorus of 'yeahs' and other general comments came from the cheerleaders and they started walking off, chatting to one another. Cindi reached down to grab her backpack, then noticed Daniel.
She smiled and Daniel almost went blind. Daniel blinked the sparkles away from his eyes, blushing. The madness that had compelled him here vanished and for a moment, he thought about running away. But then, he opened his mouth and to his overwhelming shock, WORDS came out.
ÔÇ£Hi, I'm Daniel Danton. Wanna g-go to t-the All Hallows Dance with me?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Daniel Danton?ÔÇØ She asked. ÔÇ£You're that guy...who heads that Shadowrun Club?ÔÇØ
He was floored. Not only did she remember his name but also his position but she also remembered the actual NAME of the game! Most students that weren't in the know just called it Dungeons and Dragons and didn't understand why the members of the club got angry at them. ÔÇ£K-Kinda,ÔÇØ He stammered.
ÔÇ£Well,ÔÇØ Cindi bit her lip, thinking. ÔÇ£Sure! I don't have anyone else to go with. Well, at least no one as nice as you.ÔÇØ
Daniel fainted.
-
Forboding Angel
- Evolution RTS Developer
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Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
Lol epic hahaThey were, without a doubt, the best breasts on campus. Prolly off campus too. If they ran for office, they would win. If hotness could be translated to energy, they would spurt out gamma rays like a faulty nuclear reactor. No one had ever actually SEEN them (though four out of five boys had convincing stories about peeking a glimpse at them through varying and increasingly insane ways). But, even wrapped up in a cheerleader outfit...no, specially wrapped up in a cheerleader outfit, they were a sight to melt the heart.
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
Aight, the story is slowly starting to focus.
I think.
###
Chapter Five: Monday Musings.
Daniel looked up at the ceiling. He had finally gone to sleep about an hour after Gitta had bossed him to bed despite the Bible pages flying off the...keyboard.
Staying awake while trying to sleep, though, gave Daniel plenty of time to think. The excitement of Gitta and the Bible and Satan...it had almost shoved Cindi from his mind. Imagine that! Forgetting about a prom date with the hottest girl on campus. It was with thoughts like that he had slipped under, and then floated down the river of dreams. Now, now though...it was Monday and the light of dawn was slowly growing out the window.
Daniel grinned, slowly. Today was going to be a good day.
Chapter Eight: Monday Evening.
It wasn't.
A door opened. Closed. A bed creaked. Then someone started to sob, softly.
Chapter Six: Monday, Part 1
Daniel stood from his bed. ÔÇ£Oh shit!ÔÇØ He whispered. He had forgotten...he had forgotten to cook Gitta Neo-burgers! They had just grabbed leftovers while working at a feverish pace on the Bible.
He ran down the stairs and started rummaging through the fridge.
Gitt walked down the stairs, yawning and stretching. She wore her robes still, but she had a bra, pair of panties, jeans and a shirt. And with those, she staggered into the shower, her wings brushing along the door frame as she vanished into the bathroom.
Daniel blinked, listening to the shower start up, then sighed. He was going to Cindi for the prom...but he thought about Gitta that way. He bit his lip. No, he chewed his lip.
Well, this was just as well. Gitta was an angel. A hot. Female angel. But an Angel still. And, well, he had asked Cindi out first and...
And the neo-burgers were getting crispy. He swore and flipped them off the skillet and into the plate, even as Mr. Fluffyboots purred around his ankles.
ÔÇ£I'll feed you in just a moment.ÔÇØ Daniel said, focusing on fixing up the neo-burgers. Mr. Fluffyboots decided to be lenient and warned Daniel with a single light scratch against his ankle. Daniel, luckily for him, paused in making his people food to dump some cat food into Mr. Fluffyboots dish.
Mr. Fluffyboots allowed Daniel to live.
Gitta walked from the shower and her hair practically glowed as she ran her fingers through the glimmering locks. Glimmering locks? Did Daniel just think the word 'glimmering locks'!?
ÔÇ£Hey,ÔÇØ Gitta said, adjusting her jeans. She wore jeans, and that shirt with the little devil on it. ÔÇ£So, these are neo-burgers, eh? What's in em?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Cat.ÔÇØ Daniel grinned.
Gitta went faint. ÔÇ£N-No.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, just kidding.ÔÇØ Daniel winked. ÔÇ£Its a secret, though. Just...eat it and find out.ÔÇØ
Gitta gulped, putting her hand over her mouth. ÔÇ£D-Don't joke about that kind of thing, Daniel!ÔÇØ She hissed, looking down at Mr. Fluffyboots, who continued eating his food with quiet efficiency.
Daniel pulled back a chair at the table, then ushered Gitta to sit. She did so, her wings shimmering out of existence so she could sit without squishing them. She settled against the chair, picked up the burger, opened her mouth...then paused. ÔÇ£It's really not cat, right?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah!ÔÇØ Daniel munched down on his neo-burger and chewed, moaning loudly. ÔÇ£Mmph.ÔÇØ
Gitta bit her lip. The neo-burger was huge, squishy, and looked absolutely delicious, dribbling juice, mayo, and mustered, lettuce bulging from the sides like some kind of obscene salad. Gitta muttered something, then bit into the burger. And...taste exploded in her mouth. Her eyes went wide and she almost fell out of her chair.
ÔÇ£Issgoodeh?ÔÇØ Daniel mumbled around another bite of his burger. Gitta nodded, pretty frantically.
Soon, both burgers were nothing more than memories and messy plates. Daniel dumped the plates into the sink, then looked at Gitta. ÔÇ£All right. Time for you to go all invisible and stuff. Tybalt should be here soon to drive me to school.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ Gitta drew in a slow breath, then let it out. ÔÇ£After school, we work on the Bible?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ayup. Hopefully.ÔÇØ Daniel paused. ÔÇ£Oh! Uh, there's only one day in the next two weeks I absolutely can not write at.ÔÇØ
Gitta nodded.
ÔÇ£Next Saturday.ÔÇØ Daniel bit his lip. ÔÇ£I'm...kinda going to All Hallows Dance with Cindi Pakowski.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Cool.ÔÇØ Gitta nodded. ÔÇ£Who's Cindi Pakowski?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh...ÔÇØ Daniel flushed, hard. ÔÇ£J-Just a girl. At school. Who I know.ÔÇØ
Gitta nodded. ÔÇ£Cool!ÔÇØ
Uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Or, at least, it felt uncomfortable to Daniel. Did it feel uncomfortable to Gitta.
(Yes)
Maybe she didn't care he had asked a girl out. I mean, she was his guardian angel, not...
(She did care)
It was silly for an angel to be jealous, right?
(Very. That didn't stop her)
And then the door exploded open and Tybalt slid into the room, spun around, flung his arms out and shouted, ÔÇ£TADAAAA!ÔÇØ He paused, his grin becoming very strained. ÔÇ£You have a giiiirl in your house!ÔÇØ
Daniel looked at Tybalt, then at Gitta, then at Tybalt. ÔÇ£This is my cousin-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I'm his cousin.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. Cousin. She's visiting.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Uhhuh.ÔÇØ Gitta nodded. ÔÇ£From...ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Berlin.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ja. I'm from Berlin.ÔÇØ Gitta said.
ÔÇ£Totally...from...Berlin.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£See, what happened was that, uh,ÔÇØ Gitta paused. ÔÇ£His parents are in Europe, and they actually are visiting with my parents between their business things.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So, yeah, its a trade.ÔÇØ Daniel nodded. ÔÇ£Like a...a...trade. Thing.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£We're second cousins.ÔÇØ Gitta said. ÔÇ£Like...twice removed.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. Arrived last night. Totally forgot to tell you.ÔÇØ
Tybalt blinked, slowly. ÔÇ£O...kay.ÔÇØ He looked between the two ÔÇ£cousinsÔÇØ and smiled. ÔÇ£Well, want to jag along to school?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ja ja, very much.ÔÇØ Gitta nodded.
Gitta got stuck in the back seat, her knees crammed up against her chest. ÔÇ£Sorry about the tightness,ÔÇØ Tybalt said, frowning.
ÔÇ£I'll try and...ÔÇØ Daniel grunted. His chair scooted forward slightly. ÔÇ£There we go.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That's better.ÔÇØ Gitta grinned, giving Tybalt a thumbs up. Tybalt smiled back.
ÔÇ£Lets get this show on the road!ÔÇØ Tybalt turned on the engine and, with a soft purr, his car buzzed into the road.
Meadow High School looked disarmingly similar to Dachau. The concentration camp, not the amusement park of summer fun-time and adventure. Slap bang in the middle of suburbia, a square shaped, barb-wire surrounded, oppressive hellhole of despair and horrors. Tybalt pulled up at the corner and parked his car. ÔÇ£Welcome to Meadow High School!ÔÇØ He said, gesturing out to the school itself, his fingers twirling in the air. ÔÇ£Home of enlightened learning, high minded ideals, and-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£FAG!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£And a shockingly ineffectual application of zero tolerance policies.ÔÇØ Tybalt beamed. Daniel growled and Gitta looked like she was about to spit sparks. ÔÇ£don't worry, my fair Daniel and his cousin Gitta. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall only psychologically scar me for life.ÔÇØ
Gitta bit her lip. ÔÇ£Well, that was just one student, right?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£A vocal minority becomes a majority when the rest are like not...talky.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Bravo, bravo,ÔÇØ Tybalt bowed and if he had had a hat, he would have swept it off to Daniel. ÔÇ£Once more, Daniel, your infinite mastery of the English language leaves me speechless. Your incredible eloquence, endless depths of metaphor...you bring an artistic flair to your words, turning waves of sound into symphonies of meaning-ÔÇØ
Daniel threw his backpack at Tybalt's head. Gitta snorted.
Together, the three of them waked through the front gates of the prison complex, er I mean, concentration camp, uh, that is, I mean high school. Yes. High...school. They waked through a large square hall, dimly lit and splattered with encrusted bird crap from the birds that nested in the lighting fixtures. In a vain attempt to spruce up the place, the SS officers painted a Happy Worker's Mural with lots of Happy Students doing things Happy Students did at Happy School. The mural stretched along the very long entrance hallway, and even a bit out on either side.
The entry hallway opened up into the Big Square, named thus due to its perfectly circular shape. Extending outwards from the Big Square were three hallways, each for the three different branches of the school: Math, Science, and English/History/Arts. And yes, the English and History teachers hated having to be cooped up with Mr. Finklestine and Mrs. To-Ping, the completely batshit insane art teachers.
Once you got to the end of those hallways, you either went to the gym building, the football field, or the dreaded Storage Buildings (of doom).
ÔÇ£And, we would have an on campus cafeteria, but the architect forgot that they didn't have one in till the building was half finished.ÔÇØ Daniel scowled. ÔÇ£So, we have to eat at a local diner place that actually subcontracted to the school. They stagger our lunch periods, so-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, that's boring.ÔÇØ Tybalt grinned. ÔÇ£Gitta, there's Jorge Cruz.ÔÇØ He pointed.
Jorge Cruz glided through the Big Square, followed by a gaggle of grinning girls. And behind them was Jesus Cruz, Jorge's younger brother. Jesus saw Tybalt and Daniel and waked off, grinning. Jesus had a grin wide enough to swallow the world. He raised his hands up, and Daniel flinched slightly...Jesus had dome something stupid when he was a kid: He had played with a nail gun and managed to drive a nail through not ONE but TWO wrists.
ÔÇ£Yo yo, boys!ÔÇØ Jesus grinned. ÔÇ£Who is the new girl?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I'm Gitta!ÔÇØ Gitta smiled. ÔÇ£Daniel's cousin. From Berlin.ÔÇØ
Jesus took her hand and kissed her knuckles, grinning up at her. Gitta giggled.
ÔÇ£Yeah. She's from Berlin.ÔÇØ Daniel said, nodding. He really wanted to punch Jesus in his incredibly fucking handsome face. ÔÇ£The East side. The one with the commies.ÔÇØ
Gitta scowled. ÔÇ£Daniel, shut up.ÔÇØ
Jesus laughed, then shook his head. ÔÇ£Well, yeah, enjoy America. Land of the free, home of the brave and all that.ÔÇØ He waved and walked off.
ÔÇ£He was nice.ÔÇØ Gitta smiled. ÔÇ£So, uh, when do classes start?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Soon.ÔÇØ Tybalt looked at Daniel, who grinned.
ÔÇ£But when will THEN be NOW?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Soon!ÔÇØ Tybalt whispered in his most overly dramatic tones.
ÔÇ£So, my first class is art, then math, then gym, then history, then science, then my extra class...which is basically, um, class where I can do anything and JESUS!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Huh?ÔÇØ Gitta and Tybalt looked at him.
ÔÇ£My extra class! Gitta, and...I we can work on our super top secret project there!ÔÇØ
Tybalt nodded. Daniel could see the curiosity in his eyes, but he kept quite. Daniel smiled at him.
ÔÇ£And then its free for me.ÔÇØ Daniel nodded.
Tibby, you have?ÔÇØ Gitta turned to him.
ÔÇ£Math, art, history, science, choir, then gym.ÔÇØ Tybalt ticked it off on his fingers.
ÔÇ£Well, then, I guess I'll see you after school.ÔÇØ Gitta waved as the bell rang and Tybalt turned to hustle off. She turned to Daniel. ÔÇ£How can we work on it here?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Uh, Gitta, there are these magical things called computers-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Shush! But the file is at your house.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So? We just write here and send what we wrote here home, combined them, then keep it shuffling on cyberspace.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Is that safe?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Totally!ÔÇØ
Chapter Six-A: 1865 Miles (3000 Kilometers) Away, in a Darkened Room.
An elongated, black table sat in the middle of the darkened room. In the center of the table glowed a bright golden cross. Around the table were fifteen Cardinals, each one dressed in their traditional garb, glittering with adornments and white robes and so on.
Each Cardinal was selected in secret by the Pope to be a shadowy council that would handle things that the Catholic Church would not openly want to be associated with.
They were the Shadow Cardinals.
Together, they stood as one as a youngish, blondish, kinda watery eyed man with a premature balding riff and a paunch, waked into the room. He held a small data cube, which he (without preamble) placed in the computer build into the table. As the cube sank into the table. The Cardinals sat, and a projection shimmered into existence.
ÔÇ£This is Daniel D. Danton.ÔÇØ The man said. ÔÇ£Our spy-cams have I.Ded him as being the one who started writing what he has termed...Bible 2.0.ÔÇØ
There were muttered gasps and cries of outrage from the Cardinals. One stood, slamming a frail fist on the table. ÔÇ£This is unacceptable!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£More than unacceptable. It is dangerous.ÔÇØ Another Cardinal said, nodding slowly. ÔÇ£We could have another Martin Luther on our hands.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£We need more information.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yes. Information.ÔÇØ
From the head of the table stood the eldest and most respected Cardinal of the bunch: Cardinal Cristoforo Gomberto. In his youth, he killed vampires in England, Ireland, Forks. He had rooted out demoniacal cults, and stopped five potential apocalypses. He had more decorations than most war heroes, and not many people outside of the Shadow Cardinals knew his name.
ÔÇ£This requires action most drastic.ÔÇØ Cristoforo wheezed. He turned to the side. ÔÇ£Hiraku Watanabe, emerge!ÔÇØ
And from the darkness stepped a nearly pitch black figure. Dressed in oily black clothes, armed with the deadly art of the ninja, honed by years of training and dedication, Hiraku Watanabe pressed his hands together and bowed to Crisoforo.
ÔÇ£We have someone you need to...deal with.ÔÇØ
I think.
###
Chapter Five: Monday Musings.
Daniel looked up at the ceiling. He had finally gone to sleep about an hour after Gitta had bossed him to bed despite the Bible pages flying off the...keyboard.
Staying awake while trying to sleep, though, gave Daniel plenty of time to think. The excitement of Gitta and the Bible and Satan...it had almost shoved Cindi from his mind. Imagine that! Forgetting about a prom date with the hottest girl on campus. It was with thoughts like that he had slipped under, and then floated down the river of dreams. Now, now though...it was Monday and the light of dawn was slowly growing out the window.
Daniel grinned, slowly. Today was going to be a good day.
Chapter Eight: Monday Evening.
It wasn't.
A door opened. Closed. A bed creaked. Then someone started to sob, softly.
Chapter Six: Monday, Part 1
Daniel stood from his bed. ÔÇ£Oh shit!ÔÇØ He whispered. He had forgotten...he had forgotten to cook Gitta Neo-burgers! They had just grabbed leftovers while working at a feverish pace on the Bible.
He ran down the stairs and started rummaging through the fridge.
Gitt walked down the stairs, yawning and stretching. She wore her robes still, but she had a bra, pair of panties, jeans and a shirt. And with those, she staggered into the shower, her wings brushing along the door frame as she vanished into the bathroom.
Daniel blinked, listening to the shower start up, then sighed. He was going to Cindi for the prom...but he thought about Gitta that way. He bit his lip. No, he chewed his lip.
Well, this was just as well. Gitta was an angel. A hot. Female angel. But an Angel still. And, well, he had asked Cindi out first and...
And the neo-burgers were getting crispy. He swore and flipped them off the skillet and into the plate, even as Mr. Fluffyboots purred around his ankles.
ÔÇ£I'll feed you in just a moment.ÔÇØ Daniel said, focusing on fixing up the neo-burgers. Mr. Fluffyboots decided to be lenient and warned Daniel with a single light scratch against his ankle. Daniel, luckily for him, paused in making his people food to dump some cat food into Mr. Fluffyboots dish.
Mr. Fluffyboots allowed Daniel to live.
Gitta walked from the shower and her hair practically glowed as she ran her fingers through the glimmering locks. Glimmering locks? Did Daniel just think the word 'glimmering locks'!?
ÔÇ£Hey,ÔÇØ Gitta said, adjusting her jeans. She wore jeans, and that shirt with the little devil on it. ÔÇ£So, these are neo-burgers, eh? What's in em?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Cat.ÔÇØ Daniel grinned.
Gitta went faint. ÔÇ£N-No.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, just kidding.ÔÇØ Daniel winked. ÔÇ£Its a secret, though. Just...eat it and find out.ÔÇØ
Gitta gulped, putting her hand over her mouth. ÔÇ£D-Don't joke about that kind of thing, Daniel!ÔÇØ She hissed, looking down at Mr. Fluffyboots, who continued eating his food with quiet efficiency.
Daniel pulled back a chair at the table, then ushered Gitta to sit. She did so, her wings shimmering out of existence so she could sit without squishing them. She settled against the chair, picked up the burger, opened her mouth...then paused. ÔÇ£It's really not cat, right?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah!ÔÇØ Daniel munched down on his neo-burger and chewed, moaning loudly. ÔÇ£Mmph.ÔÇØ
Gitta bit her lip. The neo-burger was huge, squishy, and looked absolutely delicious, dribbling juice, mayo, and mustered, lettuce bulging from the sides like some kind of obscene salad. Gitta muttered something, then bit into the burger. And...taste exploded in her mouth. Her eyes went wide and she almost fell out of her chair.
ÔÇ£Issgoodeh?ÔÇØ Daniel mumbled around another bite of his burger. Gitta nodded, pretty frantically.
Soon, both burgers were nothing more than memories and messy plates. Daniel dumped the plates into the sink, then looked at Gitta. ÔÇ£All right. Time for you to go all invisible and stuff. Tybalt should be here soon to drive me to school.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ Gitta drew in a slow breath, then let it out. ÔÇ£After school, we work on the Bible?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ayup. Hopefully.ÔÇØ Daniel paused. ÔÇ£Oh! Uh, there's only one day in the next two weeks I absolutely can not write at.ÔÇØ
Gitta nodded.
ÔÇ£Next Saturday.ÔÇØ Daniel bit his lip. ÔÇ£I'm...kinda going to All Hallows Dance with Cindi Pakowski.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Cool.ÔÇØ Gitta nodded. ÔÇ£Who's Cindi Pakowski?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh...ÔÇØ Daniel flushed, hard. ÔÇ£J-Just a girl. At school. Who I know.ÔÇØ
Gitta nodded. ÔÇ£Cool!ÔÇØ
Uncomfortable silence stretched between them. Or, at least, it felt uncomfortable to Daniel. Did it feel uncomfortable to Gitta.
(Yes)
Maybe she didn't care he had asked a girl out. I mean, she was his guardian angel, not...
(She did care)
It was silly for an angel to be jealous, right?
(Very. That didn't stop her)
And then the door exploded open and Tybalt slid into the room, spun around, flung his arms out and shouted, ÔÇ£TADAAAA!ÔÇØ He paused, his grin becoming very strained. ÔÇ£You have a giiiirl in your house!ÔÇØ
Daniel looked at Tybalt, then at Gitta, then at Tybalt. ÔÇ£This is my cousin-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I'm his cousin.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. Cousin. She's visiting.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Uhhuh.ÔÇØ Gitta nodded. ÔÇ£From...ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Berlin.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ja. I'm from Berlin.ÔÇØ Gitta said.
ÔÇ£Totally...from...Berlin.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£See, what happened was that, uh,ÔÇØ Gitta paused. ÔÇ£His parents are in Europe, and they actually are visiting with my parents between their business things.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So, yeah, its a trade.ÔÇØ Daniel nodded. ÔÇ£Like a...a...trade. Thing.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£We're second cousins.ÔÇØ Gitta said. ÔÇ£Like...twice removed.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. Arrived last night. Totally forgot to tell you.ÔÇØ
Tybalt blinked, slowly. ÔÇ£O...kay.ÔÇØ He looked between the two ÔÇ£cousinsÔÇØ and smiled. ÔÇ£Well, want to jag along to school?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ja ja, very much.ÔÇØ Gitta nodded.
Gitta got stuck in the back seat, her knees crammed up against her chest. ÔÇ£Sorry about the tightness,ÔÇØ Tybalt said, frowning.
ÔÇ£I'll try and...ÔÇØ Daniel grunted. His chair scooted forward slightly. ÔÇ£There we go.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£That's better.ÔÇØ Gitta grinned, giving Tybalt a thumbs up. Tybalt smiled back.
ÔÇ£Lets get this show on the road!ÔÇØ Tybalt turned on the engine and, with a soft purr, his car buzzed into the road.
Meadow High School looked disarmingly similar to Dachau. The concentration camp, not the amusement park of summer fun-time and adventure. Slap bang in the middle of suburbia, a square shaped, barb-wire surrounded, oppressive hellhole of despair and horrors. Tybalt pulled up at the corner and parked his car. ÔÇ£Welcome to Meadow High School!ÔÇØ He said, gesturing out to the school itself, his fingers twirling in the air. ÔÇ£Home of enlightened learning, high minded ideals, and-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£FAG!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£And a shockingly ineffectual application of zero tolerance policies.ÔÇØ Tybalt beamed. Daniel growled and Gitta looked like she was about to spit sparks. ÔÇ£don't worry, my fair Daniel and his cousin Gitta. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words shall only psychologically scar me for life.ÔÇØ
Gitta bit her lip. ÔÇ£Well, that was just one student, right?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£A vocal minority becomes a majority when the rest are like not...talky.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Bravo, bravo,ÔÇØ Tybalt bowed and if he had had a hat, he would have swept it off to Daniel. ÔÇ£Once more, Daniel, your infinite mastery of the English language leaves me speechless. Your incredible eloquence, endless depths of metaphor...you bring an artistic flair to your words, turning waves of sound into symphonies of meaning-ÔÇØ
Daniel threw his backpack at Tybalt's head. Gitta snorted.
Together, the three of them waked through the front gates of the prison complex, er I mean, concentration camp, uh, that is, I mean high school. Yes. High...school. They waked through a large square hall, dimly lit and splattered with encrusted bird crap from the birds that nested in the lighting fixtures. In a vain attempt to spruce up the place, the SS officers painted a Happy Worker's Mural with lots of Happy Students doing things Happy Students did at Happy School. The mural stretched along the very long entrance hallway, and even a bit out on either side.
The entry hallway opened up into the Big Square, named thus due to its perfectly circular shape. Extending outwards from the Big Square were three hallways, each for the three different branches of the school: Math, Science, and English/History/Arts. And yes, the English and History teachers hated having to be cooped up with Mr. Finklestine and Mrs. To-Ping, the completely batshit insane art teachers.
Once you got to the end of those hallways, you either went to the gym building, the football field, or the dreaded Storage Buildings (of doom).
ÔÇ£And, we would have an on campus cafeteria, but the architect forgot that they didn't have one in till the building was half finished.ÔÇØ Daniel scowled. ÔÇ£So, we have to eat at a local diner place that actually subcontracted to the school. They stagger our lunch periods, so-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, that's boring.ÔÇØ Tybalt grinned. ÔÇ£Gitta, there's Jorge Cruz.ÔÇØ He pointed.
Jorge Cruz glided through the Big Square, followed by a gaggle of grinning girls. And behind them was Jesus Cruz, Jorge's younger brother. Jesus saw Tybalt and Daniel and waked off, grinning. Jesus had a grin wide enough to swallow the world. He raised his hands up, and Daniel flinched slightly...Jesus had dome something stupid when he was a kid: He had played with a nail gun and managed to drive a nail through not ONE but TWO wrists.
ÔÇ£Yo yo, boys!ÔÇØ Jesus grinned. ÔÇ£Who is the new girl?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I'm Gitta!ÔÇØ Gitta smiled. ÔÇ£Daniel's cousin. From Berlin.ÔÇØ
Jesus took her hand and kissed her knuckles, grinning up at her. Gitta giggled.
ÔÇ£Yeah. She's from Berlin.ÔÇØ Daniel said, nodding. He really wanted to punch Jesus in his incredibly fucking handsome face. ÔÇ£The East side. The one with the commies.ÔÇØ
Gitta scowled. ÔÇ£Daniel, shut up.ÔÇØ
Jesus laughed, then shook his head. ÔÇ£Well, yeah, enjoy America. Land of the free, home of the brave and all that.ÔÇØ He waved and walked off.
ÔÇ£He was nice.ÔÇØ Gitta smiled. ÔÇ£So, uh, when do classes start?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Soon.ÔÇØ Tybalt looked at Daniel, who grinned.
ÔÇ£But when will THEN be NOW?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Soon!ÔÇØ Tybalt whispered in his most overly dramatic tones.
ÔÇ£So, my first class is art, then math, then gym, then history, then science, then my extra class...which is basically, um, class where I can do anything and JESUS!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Huh?ÔÇØ Gitta and Tybalt looked at him.
ÔÇ£My extra class! Gitta, and...I we can work on our super top secret project there!ÔÇØ
Tybalt nodded. Daniel could see the curiosity in his eyes, but he kept quite. Daniel smiled at him.
ÔÇ£And then its free for me.ÔÇØ Daniel nodded.
Tibby, you have?ÔÇØ Gitta turned to him.
ÔÇ£Math, art, history, science, choir, then gym.ÔÇØ Tybalt ticked it off on his fingers.
ÔÇ£Well, then, I guess I'll see you after school.ÔÇØ Gitta waved as the bell rang and Tybalt turned to hustle off. She turned to Daniel. ÔÇ£How can we work on it here?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Uh, Gitta, there are these magical things called computers-ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Shush! But the file is at your house.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£So? We just write here and send what we wrote here home, combined them, then keep it shuffling on cyberspace.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Is that safe?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Totally!ÔÇØ
Chapter Six-A: 1865 Miles (3000 Kilometers) Away, in a Darkened Room.
An elongated, black table sat in the middle of the darkened room. In the center of the table glowed a bright golden cross. Around the table were fifteen Cardinals, each one dressed in their traditional garb, glittering with adornments and white robes and so on.
Each Cardinal was selected in secret by the Pope to be a shadowy council that would handle things that the Catholic Church would not openly want to be associated with.
They were the Shadow Cardinals.
Together, they stood as one as a youngish, blondish, kinda watery eyed man with a premature balding riff and a paunch, waked into the room. He held a small data cube, which he (without preamble) placed in the computer build into the table. As the cube sank into the table. The Cardinals sat, and a projection shimmered into existence.
ÔÇ£This is Daniel D. Danton.ÔÇØ The man said. ÔÇ£Our spy-cams have I.Ded him as being the one who started writing what he has termed...Bible 2.0.ÔÇØ
There were muttered gasps and cries of outrage from the Cardinals. One stood, slamming a frail fist on the table. ÔÇ£This is unacceptable!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£More than unacceptable. It is dangerous.ÔÇØ Another Cardinal said, nodding slowly. ÔÇ£We could have another Martin Luther on our hands.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£We need more information.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yes. Information.ÔÇØ
From the head of the table stood the eldest and most respected Cardinal of the bunch: Cardinal Cristoforo Gomberto. In his youth, he killed vampires in England, Ireland, Forks. He had rooted out demoniacal cults, and stopped five potential apocalypses. He had more decorations than most war heroes, and not many people outside of the Shadow Cardinals knew his name.
ÔÇ£This requires action most drastic.ÔÇØ Cristoforo wheezed. He turned to the side. ÔÇ£Hiraku Watanabe, emerge!ÔÇØ
And from the darkness stepped a nearly pitch black figure. Dressed in oily black clothes, armed with the deadly art of the ninja, honed by years of training and dedication, Hiraku Watanabe pressed his hands together and bowed to Crisoforo.
ÔÇ£We have someone you need to...deal with.ÔÇØ
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
Can Gitta and Daniel evade this mysterious ninja in the following episode!?
...well, since he still has an overnight flight to take, YES!
###
Chapter Six: Monday, part 2
Gitta sat in the back of science class and really tried hard to not burst into laughter every other sentence. It was even harder considering that the science teacher was a truly ridiculous looking fellow. He had great big poofy hair, a huge huge nose, and the kind of exaggerated manner that made him seem as though he was on the vaudeville stage.
ÔÇ£And so, best as we can determine, the universe began as a small clump of matter which then expanded with what we call the Big BANG!ÔÇØ He waved his hands up and into the air.
Gitta bit her knuckle, even as the rest of the class listened with rapt attention. Okay, not rapt...more like, um, somnambulist attention.
ÔÇ£The matter then expanded outwards, growing into the massive universe you see before you. Stars coalesced into larger and larger spheres of matter, eventually igniting-ÔÇØ
Gitta could not contain her very loud and obvious snort. She blushed and tried to cover her fumble by looking quite serious, but by now, the entire class was looking at her.
ÔÇ£Would you, Mrs Gitta, please explain exactly what you find so amusing about the birth of the universe?ÔÇØ The professor cocked his eyebrow, which looked a bit like a furry caterpillar.
ÔÇ£N-Nothing,ÔÇØ Gitta flushed even harder. ÔÇ£I was just...in need of a drink to clear my throat.ÔÇØ She stood up and walked out of the classroom.
She managed to get halfway down the hall before the giggles burst from her mouth and she bent over, leaning her side against the wall. ÔÇ£Hehahahahahaha!ÔÇØ
She straightened up and wiped a tear from her eye. ÔÇ£Oh, a Big Bang...really.ÔÇØ She shook her head and walked on to the bathroom. She figured, why not?
Gitta ducked into the bathroom, cupped her hands under the tap and pooled up some water and glugged it down. She sighed, softly, looking at herself in the mirror. She put her lips together and then smacked them, trying to figure...was she really hot?
Gitta cocked her head, slowly. She had been a girl for only a hundred years, but...well, before, sex or hotness or anything like that hadn't really entered into her worldview. It had all been about saving and stopping harm and all that. Now, she realized just how silly that view was. It was like running around with blinders on...humans, as much as some of them did not want to admit it, had a lot of sex and thought a lot about sex and, well, any angel that didn't understand THAT was going to-
The stall to the far right of the bathroom opened up and a girl walked out, smiling happily. ÔÇ£Hello!ÔÇØ She said.
ÔÇ£Oh, hi!ÔÇØ Gitta grinned at the girl. She looked nice enough, even if Gitta didn't really think the pink handbag looked any good. ÔÇ£Um...sorry, just...ÔÇØ
She bit her lip. ÔÇ£Am I...hot?ÔÇØ
The girl blinked, then cocked her head. ÔÇ£Yeah!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Thanks.ÔÇØ Gitta smiled. She looked back at herself, a strange sense of pride welling up in her belly. ÔÇ£Its just...a guy said I was hot, and I don't know if I believe him.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. Well, he's my...ÔÇØ She paused. Saying Daniel was her cousin might be a bit uncomfortable. What was a better word...ÔÇØFriend.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ah. You're crushing on him.ÔÇØ The girl nodded, getting her hands gooped up with soap and rubbing them together.
ÔÇ£Iamnot!ÔÇØ Gitta tried to snort, laugh, and giggle nervously all at the same time, her cheeks flushing red.
ÔÇ£You totally are.ÔÇØ The girl grinned, putting her hands under the facet and rinsing them off. ÔÇ£I can tell. I've got a nose for these things.ÔÇØ She wiggled her nose, quite skillfully. ÔÇ£You should just tell him how you feel!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£But...then it'd be weird between us.ÔÇØ Gitta grumped, looking at herself in the mirror. And I don't crush on him, she thought. I really really don't.
ÔÇ£People always say that!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Well, what if its cause ninety nine point nine nine nine nine nine nine percent of the time its totally true!ÔÇØ
The girl sighed. ÔÇ£You know what? Its true that there is a one hundred percent chance that if you don't ask him out, he'll never know how you feel.ÔÇØ
Gitta sighed, slowly. The air dryer whirred to life and did its best to rip the other girl's skin off. She turned to Gitta and smiled. ÔÇ£And you seem really super nice!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I suppose...ÔÇØ Gitta frowned. She looked at her tutor in the arts of the crush and sighed. ÔÇ£Well, thanks for the advice.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Don't mention it.ÔÇØ The girl wiped her hands completely dry on her pants.
Gitta paused, then held her hand out. ÔÇ£Gitta.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Cindi.ÔÇØ The other girl took Gitta's hand. ÔÇ£Cindi Pakowski.ÔÇØ
Gitta's eyes widened fractionally and she stood there, even as Cindi shook her hand and walked off.
The angel turned to the door as it closed. She stood, in complete silence.
ÔÇ£Fucking Polish bitch.ÔÇØ She muttered.
Gitta turned and glared at the mirror. She gritter her teeth. ÔÇ£Arrgh!ÔÇØ She put her hands on her head and almost yanked out her hair. ÔÇ£Stop it, Gitta, you're going crazy!ÔÇØ
She put her hands on the sink and sighed, slowly, trying to steady herself. She looked into her eyes and tried her hardest to harden those eyes and put things down in solid stone, to clear up the confusing mess in her head.ÔÇ£Daniel's totally not your crush.ÔÇØ She said to herself. ÔÇ£I mean, he's not all that cool. He's nice. Cute, yes, but that's not what curshing is about. And he has a great taste in movies. And has those amazing eyes...ÔÇØ
She sighed, closing her eyes. ÔÇ£Oh nein,.ÔÇØ she whispered. ÔÇ£Ich bin f├╝r ihn fallenÔÇØ
BRRRRRRRRRRRRNG!
Gitta grabbed her heart, spinning around to face the bell. Her heart hammered under her palm and she panted, softly. ÔÇ£Okayokayokay...ÔÇØ She muttered. ÔÇ£Just the bell.ÔÇØ She nodded. ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ
She trotted out of the bathroom and saw Daniel talking to Cindi. Gitta growled, softly. She clenched her fists, then shook her head. She forced a smile on her face and walked over.
ÔÇ£Hey Daniel!ÔÇØ She said. Cindi and Daniel looked at her.
'Oh, hey, Cindi, this is my cousin, Gitta.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oooh!ÔÇØ Cindi beamed. ÔÇ£I didn't know you were Daniel's cousin!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ja.ÔÇØ Gitta nodded.
Option 1:
ÔÇ£So, um, hi again.ÔÇØ Cindi beamed her natural trademark smile and held out her hand.
Gitta smiled, then took it. ÔÇ£Hi hi again, I really like this country so far!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Thanks!ÔÇØ Cindi giggled. ÔÇ£I like it too.ÔÇØ
They all smiled and nodded.
Option 2:
ÔÇ£So, uh...hi again.ÔÇØ Cindi beamed her natural trademark smile and held out her hand.
Gitta smiled, then took it. Then she jerked the other girl into, lips against her ear. ÔÇ£Back off bitch, he's mine.ÔÇØ
She shoved Cindi back, and Cindi blinked, blushed, then ran.
Option 3:
ÔÇ£So, um, hi again.ÔÇØ Cindi beamed her natural trademark smile and held out her hand.
Gitta smiled then took it. ÔÇ£So, um, Daniel and I kinda have work to do, so, uh, yeah, lets get going Daniel.ÔÇØ
She grabbed Daniel's hand and dragged him off.
Option 4:
ÔÇ£So, um, high again.ÔÇØ Cindi beamed her natural trademark smile and held out her hand.
Gitta looked at the hand like an idiot. She thought she should do something, but, well, she was out of options.
Then she noticed that Daniel was looking at her funny. Cindi's smile was straining ever so slightly. Um...was this real?
Daniel coughed, putting his fist above his lips. He coughed again, looking at Gitta sidelong.
Oh shit, this was real.
ÔÇ£So, yeah.ÔÇØ Daniel smiled at Cindi. ÔÇ£I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a lot of work to do, unfortunately.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ja.ÔÇØ Gitta chimed in.
ÔÇ£Basically, I'm working on a special project.ÔÇØ He grinned. ÔÇ£Super secret.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh...ÔÇØ Cindi bit her lip. She glanced around. ÔÇ£Well...um...ÔÇØ
She suddenly leaned in and pecked Daniel on the lips, then walked off, giggling to herself. Daniel flushed, bright red. ÔÇ£Uuuh...ÔÇØ He murmured, his eyes glazing over slightly as he watched Cindi walk off.
ÔÇ£Work.ÔÇØ Gitta said, her voice soft. Her heart squeezed, suddenly, then let go. And then, almost absurdly, she felt better. Daniel could fall for Cindi. She was incredibly nice, and she was incredibly pretty, and she seemed smart enough. He could fall for her and she wouldn't have to worry about him. She could just guide him through till her term with him was done and move on, back to her old job.
So, yay!
ÔÇ£Right. Work.ÔÇØ Daniel looked at him and smiled.
Together, they walked to the computer labs, which sat at the end of the Science wing of Meadow's High School. It was almost abandoned, with at least twenty old, fusty computers that still had flatscreen monitors and laser mice.
Daniel and Gitta sat down as the computer they chose started up, almost creaking as it ran through its ancient operating system.
ÔÇ£So, um...ÔÇØ Daniel smiled. ÔÇ£Ever seen anything by Paul Verhoeven?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Hum?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Paul Verhoeven! Robocop? Total Recall?ÔÇØ
Gitta shook her head.
ÔÇ£Starship Troopers!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£They made a movie out of that?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah!ÔÇØ Daniel grinned. ÔÇ£Its completely cheesy but its also fucking awesome. There's this scene where-ÔÇØ
The computer dinged, then turned on, loading up its ancient operating system. Daniel made a cross with his fingers and aimed it at the screen till the logo passed.
ÔÇ£I don't get it.ÔÇØ Gitta said.
ÔÇ£Its Vista.ÔÇØ Daniel explained. ÔÇ£The joke goes: Hey, I just got the new Windows. Its just a picture of Hitler and when you click the mouse, his eyes flash.ÔÇØ
He switched his voice, to show someone else speaking. ÔÇ£Thats it? Just Hitler?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah!ÔÇØ His voice switched back. ÔÇ£But its still better than Vista.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ha ha ha.ÔÇØ Gitta deadpanned, her voice as dry as a vacuum.
Daniel grinned. ÔÇ£Maybe a bit after your time. You grew up using punch cards and telegrammamaphones.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Heeey, I can out type you seven days out of seven.ÔÇØ Gitta scowled, waggling her fingers at him. ÔÇ£Now scoot, we need to get down to business.ÔÇØ
She shifted. Her hip pressed to Daniel's hip. And Daniel, who's internal thoughts have not been transcribed for the past few pages so we're going to have a really jarring transition from Gitta's head to Daniel's head, just so you know...Daniel felt a rush of heat through him. He gulped, his throat suddenly dry.
Just a thigh on thigh. And that little smile of Gitta's.
God, um, wasn't he supposed to just be attracted to ONE girl at a time? He was pretty sure he had read something along those lines at one point.
Gitta settled her fingers down. ÔÇ£So, um...we still haven't figured that one out...ÔÇØ
She pointed with her nose at the last line they had written.
Ah yes. How would the Pantheon work?
ÔÇ£The world's kinda gotten use to monotheism,ÔÇØ Gitta muttered.
ÔÇ£Yeah, but polytheism is way more inclusive.ÔÇØ Daniel demonstrated this by lacing his fingers together. ÔÇ£You can have all the Gods be like...equal.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£The world is used to monotheism by now, though.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Hmm...ÔÇØ Daniel frowned. ÔÇ£Maybe...we can do something like what the Universal Unitarians do!ÔÇØ
Gitta frowned. ÔÇ£UU? Now there is an interesting tack to take...ÔÇØ
They mused for a bit. Then for a bit more.
ÔÇ£Yeah, lets steal from the UU.ÔÇØ Gitta muttered, beginning to type.
<Insert Biblical Claptrap Here>
The bell rang, shattering the concentration of the two. Daniel blinked. He was pretty close to Gitta, hip against her hip, shoulder to shoulder. It had felt so completely natural that they hadn't even noticed until the bell rang.
Daniel moved away, slowly, heart racing. Was Gitta magnetic or something? Or was he just a terrible person? Guilt grabbed his stomach like a big bad wolf and then started to shake its head. He put his hand on his belly, wincing. He liked Cindi. He liked Gitta...the same way.
Problem. Problem. Problem.
He glanced at her. Did she like him too?
He couldn't tell. Great. This would be so much easier. If Gitta just liked him as a friend, then he'd bury his feelings under mountains and mountains of porn. That's what he did with Amy Kowolski, the girl he had crushed on two years ago but then she got asked out by Jorge. If Gitta DID like him like that, then...he...would...
Um, okay, that wasn't much easier. And, in fact, knowing she wasn't interested would kinda crush some more of his shockingly fragile teenage ego.
Shit. Both choices sucked. Maybe it was a good thing he didn't know then.
Gitta looked at him. ÔÇ£Hello?ÔÇØ She asked.
ÔÇ£Uh, I...I think we've done enough for now.ÔÇØ He said, reaching over and pressing the save button. Gitta smiled.
ÔÇ£Good work?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Good work.ÔÇØ He nodded, sliding over and E-mailing the file to himself.
They stood and walked out of the computer room and into the dazzling sunlight of Meadow High. Daniel paused for a moment, smiling up at the sky. He sighed. ÔÇ£Ya know...I always wanted to fly.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Hmm?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Like...ÔÇØ Daniel stopped. ÔÇ£Uh...ya know. Fly a plane.ÔÇØ
Gitta grinned, slowly. ÔÇ£You're lying.ÔÇØ
He blinked.
ÔÇ£I'm an angel.ÔÇØ She wiggled her nose. ÔÇ£I can tell.ÔÇØ
He sighed. ÔÇ£Okay. Fine. I mean like...flying flying. Like...without a plane. Like you do.ÔÇØ He looked at her and smiled.
Gitta was looking thoughtful. ÔÇ£Well-ÔÇØ
The bell rang like the end of the world and the doors along the walls burst open as a deluge of souls reprieved from their horrible hellish tortures till another day burst free and flowed through the hallway like a tsunami of humanity and those girls who write slash fiction and smell like old cheese.
Gitta and Daniel pressed up against the wall and Gitta scowled. ÔÇ£It's gonna take hours to get through this mess!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah.ÔÇØ Daniel scowled. ÔÇ£School was built like this to contain riots.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Really?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, it was an old prison.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Really!?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£No, I'm just kidding.ÔÇØ Daniel sighed.
Gitta bit her lip, then grabbed his hand. Tingling went up his arm and Daniel looked into her eyes. Her skin was...so smooth.
ÔÇ£Follow me.ÔÇØ She murmured. Then she walked through the wall.
They came out the other end. Daniel's eyes were wide. "Human eyes are not meant to see that," He said.
"Fun, isn't it?" Gitta grinned.
Daniel shuddered.
...well, since he still has an overnight flight to take, YES!
###
Chapter Six: Monday, part 2
Gitta sat in the back of science class and really tried hard to not burst into laughter every other sentence. It was even harder considering that the science teacher was a truly ridiculous looking fellow. He had great big poofy hair, a huge huge nose, and the kind of exaggerated manner that made him seem as though he was on the vaudeville stage.
ÔÇ£And so, best as we can determine, the universe began as a small clump of matter which then expanded with what we call the Big BANG!ÔÇØ He waved his hands up and into the air.
Gitta bit her knuckle, even as the rest of the class listened with rapt attention. Okay, not rapt...more like, um, somnambulist attention.
ÔÇ£The matter then expanded outwards, growing into the massive universe you see before you. Stars coalesced into larger and larger spheres of matter, eventually igniting-ÔÇØ
Gitta could not contain her very loud and obvious snort. She blushed and tried to cover her fumble by looking quite serious, but by now, the entire class was looking at her.
ÔÇ£Would you, Mrs Gitta, please explain exactly what you find so amusing about the birth of the universe?ÔÇØ The professor cocked his eyebrow, which looked a bit like a furry caterpillar.
ÔÇ£N-Nothing,ÔÇØ Gitta flushed even harder. ÔÇ£I was just...in need of a drink to clear my throat.ÔÇØ She stood up and walked out of the classroom.
She managed to get halfway down the hall before the giggles burst from her mouth and she bent over, leaning her side against the wall. ÔÇ£Hehahahahahaha!ÔÇØ
She straightened up and wiped a tear from her eye. ÔÇ£Oh, a Big Bang...really.ÔÇØ She shook her head and walked on to the bathroom. She figured, why not?
Gitta ducked into the bathroom, cupped her hands under the tap and pooled up some water and glugged it down. She sighed, softly, looking at herself in the mirror. She put her lips together and then smacked them, trying to figure...was she really hot?
Gitta cocked her head, slowly. She had been a girl for only a hundred years, but...well, before, sex or hotness or anything like that hadn't really entered into her worldview. It had all been about saving and stopping harm and all that. Now, she realized just how silly that view was. It was like running around with blinders on...humans, as much as some of them did not want to admit it, had a lot of sex and thought a lot about sex and, well, any angel that didn't understand THAT was going to-
The stall to the far right of the bathroom opened up and a girl walked out, smiling happily. ÔÇ£Hello!ÔÇØ She said.
ÔÇ£Oh, hi!ÔÇØ Gitta grinned at the girl. She looked nice enough, even if Gitta didn't really think the pink handbag looked any good. ÔÇ£Um...sorry, just...ÔÇØ
She bit her lip. ÔÇ£Am I...hot?ÔÇØ
The girl blinked, then cocked her head. ÔÇ£Yeah!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Thanks.ÔÇØ Gitta smiled. She looked back at herself, a strange sense of pride welling up in her belly. ÔÇ£Its just...a guy said I was hot, and I don't know if I believe him.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah. Well, he's my...ÔÇØ She paused. Saying Daniel was her cousin might be a bit uncomfortable. What was a better word...ÔÇØFriend.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ah. You're crushing on him.ÔÇØ The girl nodded, getting her hands gooped up with soap and rubbing them together.
ÔÇ£Iamnot!ÔÇØ Gitta tried to snort, laugh, and giggle nervously all at the same time, her cheeks flushing red.
ÔÇ£You totally are.ÔÇØ The girl grinned, putting her hands under the facet and rinsing them off. ÔÇ£I can tell. I've got a nose for these things.ÔÇØ She wiggled her nose, quite skillfully. ÔÇ£You should just tell him how you feel!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£But...then it'd be weird between us.ÔÇØ Gitta grumped, looking at herself in the mirror. And I don't crush on him, she thought. I really really don't.
ÔÇ£People always say that!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Well, what if its cause ninety nine point nine nine nine nine nine nine percent of the time its totally true!ÔÇØ
The girl sighed. ÔÇ£You know what? Its true that there is a one hundred percent chance that if you don't ask him out, he'll never know how you feel.ÔÇØ
Gitta sighed, slowly. The air dryer whirred to life and did its best to rip the other girl's skin off. She turned to Gitta and smiled. ÔÇ£And you seem really super nice!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£I suppose...ÔÇØ Gitta frowned. She looked at her tutor in the arts of the crush and sighed. ÔÇ£Well, thanks for the advice.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Don't mention it.ÔÇØ The girl wiped her hands completely dry on her pants.
Gitta paused, then held her hand out. ÔÇ£Gitta.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Cindi.ÔÇØ The other girl took Gitta's hand. ÔÇ£Cindi Pakowski.ÔÇØ
Gitta's eyes widened fractionally and she stood there, even as Cindi shook her hand and walked off.
The angel turned to the door as it closed. She stood, in complete silence.
ÔÇ£Fucking Polish bitch.ÔÇØ She muttered.
Gitta turned and glared at the mirror. She gritter her teeth. ÔÇ£Arrgh!ÔÇØ She put her hands on her head and almost yanked out her hair. ÔÇ£Stop it, Gitta, you're going crazy!ÔÇØ
She put her hands on the sink and sighed, slowly, trying to steady herself. She looked into her eyes and tried her hardest to harden those eyes and put things down in solid stone, to clear up the confusing mess in her head.ÔÇ£Daniel's totally not your crush.ÔÇØ She said to herself. ÔÇ£I mean, he's not all that cool. He's nice. Cute, yes, but that's not what curshing is about. And he has a great taste in movies. And has those amazing eyes...ÔÇØ
She sighed, closing her eyes. ÔÇ£Oh nein,.ÔÇØ she whispered. ÔÇ£Ich bin f├╝r ihn fallenÔÇØ
BRRRRRRRRRRRRNG!
Gitta grabbed her heart, spinning around to face the bell. Her heart hammered under her palm and she panted, softly. ÔÇ£Okayokayokay...ÔÇØ She muttered. ÔÇ£Just the bell.ÔÇØ She nodded. ÔÇ£Right.ÔÇØ
She trotted out of the bathroom and saw Daniel talking to Cindi. Gitta growled, softly. She clenched her fists, then shook her head. She forced a smile on her face and walked over.
ÔÇ£Hey Daniel!ÔÇØ She said. Cindi and Daniel looked at her.
'Oh, hey, Cindi, this is my cousin, Gitta.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oooh!ÔÇØ Cindi beamed. ÔÇ£I didn't know you were Daniel's cousin!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ja.ÔÇØ Gitta nodded.
Option 1:
ÔÇ£So, um, hi again.ÔÇØ Cindi beamed her natural trademark smile and held out her hand.
Gitta smiled, then took it. ÔÇ£Hi hi again, I really like this country so far!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Thanks!ÔÇØ Cindi giggled. ÔÇ£I like it too.ÔÇØ
They all smiled and nodded.
Option 2:
ÔÇ£So, uh...hi again.ÔÇØ Cindi beamed her natural trademark smile and held out her hand.
Gitta smiled, then took it. Then she jerked the other girl into, lips against her ear. ÔÇ£Back off bitch, he's mine.ÔÇØ
She shoved Cindi back, and Cindi blinked, blushed, then ran.
Option 3:
ÔÇ£So, um, hi again.ÔÇØ Cindi beamed her natural trademark smile and held out her hand.
Gitta smiled then took it. ÔÇ£So, um, Daniel and I kinda have work to do, so, uh, yeah, lets get going Daniel.ÔÇØ
She grabbed Daniel's hand and dragged him off.
Option 4:
ÔÇ£So, um, high again.ÔÇØ Cindi beamed her natural trademark smile and held out her hand.
Gitta looked at the hand like an idiot. She thought she should do something, but, well, she was out of options.
Then she noticed that Daniel was looking at her funny. Cindi's smile was straining ever so slightly. Um...was this real?
Daniel coughed, putting his fist above his lips. He coughed again, looking at Gitta sidelong.
Oh shit, this was real.
ÔÇ£So, yeah.ÔÇØ Daniel smiled at Cindi. ÔÇ£I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a lot of work to do, unfortunately.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ja.ÔÇØ Gitta chimed in.
ÔÇ£Basically, I'm working on a special project.ÔÇØ He grinned. ÔÇ£Super secret.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Oh...ÔÇØ Cindi bit her lip. She glanced around. ÔÇ£Well...um...ÔÇØ
She suddenly leaned in and pecked Daniel on the lips, then walked off, giggling to herself. Daniel flushed, bright red. ÔÇ£Uuuh...ÔÇØ He murmured, his eyes glazing over slightly as he watched Cindi walk off.
ÔÇ£Work.ÔÇØ Gitta said, her voice soft. Her heart squeezed, suddenly, then let go. And then, almost absurdly, she felt better. Daniel could fall for Cindi. She was incredibly nice, and she was incredibly pretty, and she seemed smart enough. He could fall for her and she wouldn't have to worry about him. She could just guide him through till her term with him was done and move on, back to her old job.
So, yay!
ÔÇ£Right. Work.ÔÇØ Daniel looked at him and smiled.
Together, they walked to the computer labs, which sat at the end of the Science wing of Meadow's High School. It was almost abandoned, with at least twenty old, fusty computers that still had flatscreen monitors and laser mice.
Daniel and Gitta sat down as the computer they chose started up, almost creaking as it ran through its ancient operating system.
ÔÇ£So, um...ÔÇØ Daniel smiled. ÔÇ£Ever seen anything by Paul Verhoeven?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Hum?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Paul Verhoeven! Robocop? Total Recall?ÔÇØ
Gitta shook her head.
ÔÇ£Starship Troopers!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£They made a movie out of that?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah!ÔÇØ Daniel grinned. ÔÇ£Its completely cheesy but its also fucking awesome. There's this scene where-ÔÇØ
The computer dinged, then turned on, loading up its ancient operating system. Daniel made a cross with his fingers and aimed it at the screen till the logo passed.
ÔÇ£I don't get it.ÔÇØ Gitta said.
ÔÇ£Its Vista.ÔÇØ Daniel explained. ÔÇ£The joke goes: Hey, I just got the new Windows. Its just a picture of Hitler and when you click the mouse, his eyes flash.ÔÇØ
He switched his voice, to show someone else speaking. ÔÇ£Thats it? Just Hitler?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah!ÔÇØ His voice switched back. ÔÇ£But its still better than Vista.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Ha ha ha.ÔÇØ Gitta deadpanned, her voice as dry as a vacuum.
Daniel grinned. ÔÇ£Maybe a bit after your time. You grew up using punch cards and telegrammamaphones.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Heeey, I can out type you seven days out of seven.ÔÇØ Gitta scowled, waggling her fingers at him. ÔÇ£Now scoot, we need to get down to business.ÔÇØ
She shifted. Her hip pressed to Daniel's hip. And Daniel, who's internal thoughts have not been transcribed for the past few pages so we're going to have a really jarring transition from Gitta's head to Daniel's head, just so you know...Daniel felt a rush of heat through him. He gulped, his throat suddenly dry.
Just a thigh on thigh. And that little smile of Gitta's.
God, um, wasn't he supposed to just be attracted to ONE girl at a time? He was pretty sure he had read something along those lines at one point.
Gitta settled her fingers down. ÔÇ£So, um...we still haven't figured that one out...ÔÇØ
She pointed with her nose at the last line they had written.
Ah yes. How would the Pantheon work?
ÔÇ£The world's kinda gotten use to monotheism,ÔÇØ Gitta muttered.
ÔÇ£Yeah, but polytheism is way more inclusive.ÔÇØ Daniel demonstrated this by lacing his fingers together. ÔÇ£You can have all the Gods be like...equal.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£The world is used to monotheism by now, though.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Hmm...ÔÇØ Daniel frowned. ÔÇ£Maybe...we can do something like what the Universal Unitarians do!ÔÇØ
Gitta frowned. ÔÇ£UU? Now there is an interesting tack to take...ÔÇØ
They mused for a bit. Then for a bit more.
ÔÇ£Yeah, lets steal from the UU.ÔÇØ Gitta muttered, beginning to type.
<Insert Biblical Claptrap Here>
The bell rang, shattering the concentration of the two. Daniel blinked. He was pretty close to Gitta, hip against her hip, shoulder to shoulder. It had felt so completely natural that they hadn't even noticed until the bell rang.
Daniel moved away, slowly, heart racing. Was Gitta magnetic or something? Or was he just a terrible person? Guilt grabbed his stomach like a big bad wolf and then started to shake its head. He put his hand on his belly, wincing. He liked Cindi. He liked Gitta...the same way.
Problem. Problem. Problem.
He glanced at her. Did she like him too?
He couldn't tell. Great. This would be so much easier. If Gitta just liked him as a friend, then he'd bury his feelings under mountains and mountains of porn. That's what he did with Amy Kowolski, the girl he had crushed on two years ago but then she got asked out by Jorge. If Gitta DID like him like that, then...he...would...
Um, okay, that wasn't much easier. And, in fact, knowing she wasn't interested would kinda crush some more of his shockingly fragile teenage ego.
Shit. Both choices sucked. Maybe it was a good thing he didn't know then.
Gitta looked at him. ÔÇ£Hello?ÔÇØ She asked.
ÔÇ£Uh, I...I think we've done enough for now.ÔÇØ He said, reaching over and pressing the save button. Gitta smiled.
ÔÇ£Good work?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Good work.ÔÇØ He nodded, sliding over and E-mailing the file to himself.
They stood and walked out of the computer room and into the dazzling sunlight of Meadow High. Daniel paused for a moment, smiling up at the sky. He sighed. ÔÇ£Ya know...I always wanted to fly.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Hmm?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Like...ÔÇØ Daniel stopped. ÔÇ£Uh...ya know. Fly a plane.ÔÇØ
Gitta grinned, slowly. ÔÇ£You're lying.ÔÇØ
He blinked.
ÔÇ£I'm an angel.ÔÇØ She wiggled her nose. ÔÇ£I can tell.ÔÇØ
He sighed. ÔÇ£Okay. Fine. I mean like...flying flying. Like...without a plane. Like you do.ÔÇØ He looked at her and smiled.
Gitta was looking thoughtful. ÔÇ£Well-ÔÇØ
The bell rang like the end of the world and the doors along the walls burst open as a deluge of souls reprieved from their horrible hellish tortures till another day burst free and flowed through the hallway like a tsunami of humanity and those girls who write slash fiction and smell like old cheese.
Gitta and Daniel pressed up against the wall and Gitta scowled. ÔÇ£It's gonna take hours to get through this mess!ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah.ÔÇØ Daniel scowled. ÔÇ£School was built like this to contain riots.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Really?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Yeah, it was an old prison.ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£Really!?ÔÇØ
ÔÇ£No, I'm just kidding.ÔÇØ Daniel sighed.
Gitta bit her lip, then grabbed his hand. Tingling went up his arm and Daniel looked into her eyes. Her skin was...so smooth.
ÔÇ£Follow me.ÔÇØ She murmured. Then she walked through the wall.
They came out the other end. Daniel's eyes were wide. "Human eyes are not meant to see that," He said.
"Fun, isn't it?" Gitta grinned.
Daniel shuddered.
Last edited by Zoombie on 17 Sep 2009, 08:15, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
I could deal with the evil secret council of cardinals with a ninja hitman but this is just getting silly.
Re: Bible 2.0: Closet Deist
Oooh, it gets even more absurd.