Email disclaimers...

[Forboding Angel]

This is a repost, but it mirrors my own thoughts...

I just love these stupid email disclaimers that lawyers, accountants, doctors, human resource people (and a whole lot other people) slap on the end of their emails nowadays. Below is one that found it's way to me a while ago:

"NOTICE: The information in this electronic mail message, including any attachments, is intended solely for the use of the individual(s) to whom it is addressed and may contain information that is privileged, confidential or otherwise exempt from disclosure. Access to this Internet electronic mail message by anyone else is unauthorized. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or action taken or omitted to be taken in reliance on it is prohibited and may be unlawful."

Wow. What are idiots like this thinking when they stick something like that in an email? I think maybe what they are really communicating is something like this:

"NOTICE: The information in this electronic mail message, including any attachments, is intended solely for the use of the individual(s) to whom I thought I addressed it and may contain information that is privileged, confidential or would be otherwise exempt from disclosure (had I not sent it to you), though I certainly hope that is not the case, because if it is I should never have shared it with you or sent it via this method ... particularly since I didn't even bother to encrypt it and I'm not really all that confident I might not have botched the damn thing and sent it to someone that has no business seeing it. I'd like to have you believe that access to this Internet electronic mail message by anyone else is unauthorized, but I realize that is likely to be pretty hard to get you to believe that, since I sent it to you. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or action taken or omitted to be taken in reliance on this information may very likely cause me, my client, and each of us, considerable grief, severe embarrassment, and might actually seriously compromise our ability to protect our interests, so I most sincerely hope that you just tear it up and pretend you never saw it (and God, please, don't tell anyone else about it), because my having sent it to you this carelessly in the first place might be prohibited, may be unlawful, could well be actionable, and might end up costing me a whole shitload of money. And oh yeah, I'd really appreciate you letting me know that you got it, instead of who I intended to get it, because there might be some really important thing that won't get done, meeting that might be missed, or some other dire situation arise if I just sit here stupidly assuming that it got to the right place."

[I2:Isaacment_Day]

yeah

[yuritch]

That reminds me of PirateBay's legal section, where they show quite a lot of emails with such disclaimers in them. In fact most any mail from a lawyer is going to have one.

[Final]

I may use it as a forum signature.

So you peasant whores can't sue me.

[kiki]

wheres maddox when u need him?

[Machiosabre]

I may use it as a forum signature.

So you peasant whores can't sue me.

That's slander, you'll hear from my lawyer.

[Final]

ha

Although I think It falls under Libel rather then slander.

[rattle]

I may use it as a forum signature.

So you peasant whores can't sue me.

That's slander, you'll hear from my lawyer.

Dr. Gonzo?

[Machiosabre]

[Teutooni]

What they want to say is:

"NOTICE: The information on this electronic mail message, including any attachments, is intended solely for those moronic individual(s) who actually belive this pathetic little disclaimer makes him/her a special and privileged customer, or provides any kind of protection from unwanted snooping. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete this spam message."

[PicassoCT]

For the Warriors it is a Flamewar, for the Lawyer it is a Casesource..

[rattle]

Hahaha awesome...

[Felix the Cat]

419 scammers (the "hello my name is charles soludo i want your help to transfer $5.2 million into your country" ones) are starting to attach that shit to the bottom of their emails too, for added legitimacy.

/me goes to start a new topic...