HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

cyclerboy · Post by **cyclerboy** » 22 Jan 2007, 07:03

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering.Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why,last night, Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

CompWiz · Post by **CompWiz** » 22 Jan 2007, 07:13

i seen this 3 years ago...

Zoombie · Post by **Zoombie** » 22 Jan 2007, 07:19

I saw this FOUR years ago. Beat that!

CompWiz · Post by **CompWiz** » 22 Jan 2007, 07:20

mybe it was that long
ive seen it so meny times i lost count

Zoombie · Post by **Zoombie** » 22 Jan 2007, 07:23

True. I know my dad heard it before he met my mom, and that was a while ago. It's an old story, but still kinda funny. It was funnier the first time.

CompWiz · Post by **CompWiz** » 22 Jan 2007, 07:24

CompWiz · Post by **CompWiz** » 22 Jan 2007, 07:26

DUH my isp sucks

[double post]

Comp1337 · Post by **Comp1337** » 22 Jan 2007, 09:05

SO OLD! T_T

but real funny the first time

Abokasee · Post by **Abokasee** » 22 Jan 2007, 10:31

Comp1337 wrote: but real funny the first time

that peice of writing says: but real funny the first time

KDR_11k · Post by **KDR_11k** » 22 Jan 2007, 12:57

It's certainly not something that warrants an all-caps title.

What I'd like to see is an economical analysis of hell, especially the goals pursued by exchanging loads of stuff for souls just to torture them with regard to the claim that hell gets a soul automatically if it has sinned and as such wouldn't need to deal out contracts to gain more souls. What's hell doing with all those souls?

Zoombie · Post by **Zoombie** » 22 Jan 2007, 15:50

Maybe it's using them in some kind of metaphysical poker game?

j5mello · Post by **j5mello** » 22 Jan 2007, 16:21

having read this today for the first time had to say its damn funny...

Also the thread's title reads like bad tabloid cover

hrmph · Post by **hrmph** » 22 Jan 2007, 16:41

This has been around for a long time. I remember reading it back in the mid to late 90s. Still funny of course.

rattle · Post by **rattle** » 22 Jan 2007, 17:12

I must have missed it then...

Ishach · Post by **Ishach** » 22 Jan 2007, 17:13

I PRETTY MUCH SAW THIS THE DAY I WAS BORN

Fanger · Post by **Fanger** » 22 Jan 2007, 17:42

OLD REPOST IS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lurk More...

Zoombie · Post by **Zoombie** » 23 Jan 2007, 00:37

j5mello wrote:Also the thread's title reads like bad tabloid cover

Wait, there are GOOD tabloids. That's news to me.

CompWiz · Post by **CompWiz** » 23 Jan 2007, 01:48

Zoombie wrote:
j5mello wrote:Also the thread's title reads like bad tabloid cover
Wait, there are GOOD tabloids. That's news to me.

+1

lol

BlackLiger · Post by **BlackLiger** » 23 Jan 2007, 01:50

No no no. What that poster implies is there are "Eh" Tabloids and "OH GOD, IT BURNS. THE PRINTER PUT HIS ARSE IN THE SCANNER, DIDN'T HE?" tabloids.

Kixxe · Post by **Kixxe** » 23 Jan 2007, 23:10

I saw it long time ago, but the ending was reversed (he had not sleept with her, and that one sounds false compared...). it's on bash for decades.

Spring RTS Engine

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT