I just remembered these things while browsing through my gmail account and thought I'd post them here. Yes I wrote them when I was very angry.
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From: Me
To: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
Subject: None
Dear DICE,
The next time you decide to make a game, please be sure it is actually
finished before you release it. Thank you.
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From: Me
To: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
Subject: Please fix your game
Hi,
This is a request that you concentrate on fixing the half-assed game you released, BF2, before you do anything with any expansion packs. I think we both know that you released BF2 50% done at best, barely play-tested and full of crap. PLEASE FIX IT. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO NEVER LOOK AT A DICE-MADE GAME AGAIN BECAUSE OF THIS LET-DOWN OF A GAME.
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From: Me
To: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
Subject: Did you fix your game yet?
Did you fix BF2 yet?
If not, why is it taking so long? Maybe you shouldn't have released it. It doesn't make sense why you'd release a half-assed unfinished game in the first place. Please explain to me why. I payed $65 for this game and it's the worst game I've ever played, hands down. You know, after the Vietnam fiasco I was very wary of BF2 and I didn't expect a lot from it, but this is far below what even I expected.
The one thing I can say about it is that it looks nice. But that's it. The gameplay is completely fucked, I could shit and it would be better balanced than this, and the weapons are badly made (which leads me to believe your research for these weapons probably revolved around buying books about the War in Iraq made for the preteen children).
You want to fix your game? Here's how.
First, fix the fucking M203's and GP-30's and whatever the fuck China uses by increasing its blast radius so that some fucking noob can't run around a corner, pop one off a foot infront of himself and not die. While you're at it, make the grenade launchers REALISTIC by copying their actual real-life counterparts -- which will not explode until airborne for a certain amount of time/range for such situations where one might hit an obstacle within several meters.
Second, fix the fucking Stingers. I understand Stingers not being able to shoot down the most modern planes in the world, they're not supposed to, but fucking helicopters? If a helicopter drops flares I can understand a Stinger missing -- SOMETIMES -- but simply being able to avoid it by jerking left or right or, in the worst example, simply gaining altitude while level? That's utterly childish.
Third, fix your fucking weapon damage collision meshes, or whatever system you use. I don't know how many fucking times I've seen an enemy infantry lying on the ground, facing me, so that his head takes up probably 75% of all I can see of him, and I can shoot him 5 times and he won't die. Miraculously, either none of the bullets hit him in the head, or YOU CAN SHOOT SOMEONE IN THE HEAD AND THEY WON'T DIE?!?! I remember this from BF42, which is why I stopped playing that bullshit game and played its better-made mods (yes, a group of fucking guys who don't even get payed, don't get sponsorship or any income of any kind outside of their real-life work, can make a better balanced and more enjoyable game than your entire fucking Company).
Lastly, if I shoot someone 5 times with the Sniper rifle and they don't die, and they're not being healed, you are going to check your mail and there will be human shit in your fucking mailbox. I will personally fly to Sweden, shit in a fucking paper bag, and put it in your fucking mailbox because that is how much I hate you and this debacle of a fucking game.
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From: Me
To: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
Subject: Refund
Dear Digital Illusions CE,
I would like a refund for the game Battlefield 2. It is a complete disappointment, a disappointment compounded by the fact that instead of answering the thousands upon thousands of complaints, your company has decided to instead charge everyone $50 for content that was supposed to be included in the original game in the first place. You are nothing but crooks and swindlers, who focused more on graphical elements rather than any sort of gameplay depth. This game, I can honestly say, feels like it was play-tested throughout its development by socially handicapped 6th grade Special Education students. If I were a DICE employee I would frankly be ashamed to have anything to do with this debacle of a game. It would make me sick to my stomach to release it, to see the harsh reaction of your entire fanbase, and to then do absolutely nothing about it, instead focusing on another project to make yourselves even more money. Would it kill you to be a responsible game developer and release your game fixes for free instead of jacking up the total price of this game to over $120 dollars? How you expect people to pay such a horrible amount for a single game is utterly beyond me, and that I believe can attest to the kind of Developers you guys are, interested more in lining your pockets than releasing a game for the benefit of your Series' fans.
DICE sickens me. All respect I had for it are gone. Your developing skills have officially ceased to exist. I look forward to hearing about how the last game DICE developed was BF2, before it was forced to shut down or be incorporated into another company because of negative profit margins. Congratulations, DICE. You are yet another failed game developing company.
PS, I would like my refund shipped to the following address. If I do not receive my refund I will be forced to look up whatever phone numbers or other ways of contact I can and pursue this matter further. Thank you.
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From: Me
To: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
Subject: N/A
Several things I noticed today alone.
a) I saw an M1 shoot two places at once. He shot only one round at me; I was near the opening in a metal fence. I saw the round hit the metal fence just to the left of the opening. I was also apparently damaged by the same shot. So somehow, the tank's round hit twice.
b) you are able to see the 3d meshes of tanks farther than you can see APCs. I had an APC shooting at my tank and I couldn't even see it.
c) Today I saw a jet "dodge" about a dozen air-to-air and surface-to-air missiles consecutively.
Please fix your game. Thanks.
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From: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
To: Me
Subject: Re: N/A
Hi,
Thank you for your report. Your mail has been forwarded to the BF2 team.
Best regards,
Digital Illusions
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From: Me
To: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
Subject: Please give me my money back
I've asked you before. Please refund my money for this shitty horrible game you've created, "Battlefield 2". I will continue to email until I get my refund. This game, in my opinion and in the opinions of countless others, isn't worth $10. It is second-rate, something I'd expect from some half-assed start-up company who's previous game-making experience revolves around children's interactive storybooks. I can not imagine how you have managed to fuck this game up so much. I can only assume that there has been some sort of massive loss of employment over at DICE, and to complete this game you had to re-hire highschool kids from street corners.
I would like to end this email by informing you that if I ever see a DICE software product I will turn around and walk away. I want you to personally know, you have completely ruined any respect your company's name ever had. And I do not speak for myself alone. If you guys had done your job properly and actually put some effort into reading the community's comments you'd realize that this game has failed every expectation held to it by your claims. There is literally nothing good I can say about this game, other than the fact that it looks good. Is that what you were going for? A shiny-looking game with absolutely no gameplay depth, half-assed scripting and no foundation for any real success? And how about the simple fact that the number of people playing this game is falling dramatically?
Again, please refund my money. Do not bother giving me "DICE credit". I am not interested in any other shitty games you people have managed to squeeze out of the recesses of your ass cheeks.
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From: Me
To: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
Subject: The world according to DICE
Well, since you guys won't even bother replying your ex-fans, I'll just have to keep emailing you 'til you do.
In the meantime, I've created compilation list of how DICE apparently sees the world we live in.
A) In the world of DICE, gravity is so weak, that any vehicle can simply "slide" down a 100-foot tall near vertical cliff and survive mainly intact.
B) Human beings apparently have enough stamina to repeatedly leap 4 feet straight into the air again and again, indefinately, but do not have enough stamina to run more then 10 meters before tiring.
C) In DICE's world, the laws of physics when it comes to kinetic and explosive power is reversed. For instance, the 25mm Bushmaster on the Bradley Linebacker, the 20mm anti-aircraft guns of the Tanguska, the 25mm Bushmaster of the LAV-25 (which is actually supposed to be the exact same gun as on the Bradley) and the 25mm cannon on the BTR (which is supposed to be the exact same gun as on the Mi-28 Havoc Attack Chopper) somehow do less damage to helicopters than a 12.7mm machinegun, like fielded on a small dune buggy.
D) Somehow, the 120mm-esque high explosive unguided rockets on attack helicopters have about the same, if not less, power than man-carried Eryx/SRAW anti-tank rockets. Even though in real life, a barrage of 12 of those 120mm rockets has the capability of levelling an entire small town, in DICE's world, you have to hit infantry dead smack in the chest to kill them, and killing a tank takes 6 fired at point-blank range.
E) A telephone pole is apparently so strong, it can survive being smashed into by a 70-ton tank travelling at full speed, which would be the equivilent of roughly 20 average cars slamming into it simeltaneously on the highway.
F) If a person is shot directly in the head, he can be brought back to life by pumping electricity into his heart. However, if a person dies by being bumped by a jeep or tank, he is incapable of being revived.
G) Human beings can survive being hit in the chest with a .50 caliber bullet. .50 Cal bullets are capable of penetrating an inch of solid steel.
H) Despite the fact that human beings seem to have skin stronger than an inch of solid steel, they can be instantly killed by stabbing them in the foot or hand.
I) Helicopters are capable of surviving direct impacts from 120mm-125mm tank shells which themselves are slated to be capable of penetrating 20-30 inches of solid steel... which is approximately how thick an AH-1Z is.
J) Despite the fact that the anti-tank rockets on the LAV-25, the stationary anti-tank missile, and the TV-guided anti-tank missiles on attack helicopters are actually in reality the exact same weapons, all 3 of them do different damage.
K) A standard chain-link fence is capable of stopping a tank round.
L) You are more likely to be shot huddling behind a solid piece of cover with only your head and your gun sticking out than you are leaping and jumping around in the middle of an open, empty field.
M) If you fall 10 feet onto the ground, you will die. If you fall 1000 feet into water, you won't have a scratch, despite the fact that you'll be travelling roughly 150 mph and land face-first.
N) Laser-guided bombs aren't actually laser-guided. They'll head for the nearest occupied vehicle, friend or foe, using magic.
O) Speed-bumps have the ability to destroy tanks.
P) For $50, you'll be able to drive a forklift at night.
I didn't make it to Z, but I'm sure I'll get there after playing a bit more.
Where's my refund, btw?
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From: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
To: Me
Subject: Re: The world according to DICE
Hi,
Thank you very much for your feedback.
Your mail has been forwarded to the BF2 team.
Best regards,
Digital Illusions
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From: Digital Illusions CE (DICE)
To: Me
Subject: Re: Please give me my money back
Hi name removed,
Thanks for your email. To our knowledge this is the first email we get from you. Who at Digital Illusions have you been in contact with before?
We are of course very sorry you are not happy with our game Battlefield 2. As we are sure you know it has an average score at 91 percent of 100 possible at Metacritic. Since you don├óÔé¼Ôäót specify what disappoint you about the game we cannot give you any clear answers. Regarding refunds you will have to contact the seller. Digital Illusions develop games but we have publishers that market, sell and distribute the game. Please contact Electronic Arts should you have any support questions.
Kind regards,
Digital Illusions
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About this time I learned that they were developing BF2142 (yes, these emails are from over a year ago) and I completely gave up, smashed my BF2 CDs and called it a day. Atleast they (eventually) responded (their replies are in blue.)
My hate mail to DICE
Moderator: Moderators
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SpikedHelmet
- MC: Legacy & Spring 1944 Developer
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El Capitano
- Posts: 156
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SpikedHelmet
- MC: Legacy & Spring 1944 Developer
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El Capitano
- Posts: 156
- Joined: 13 Oct 2006, 10:48
So should he rather write a mail saying something like "I love your game and all of it's features. Can I have my money back now?"...LOrDo wrote:I think people are less likely to respond to your problems if you continually harrass them on how much thier game sucks. Oo
"omfg dude ur game sux gimme back my money pls????"
Go sell it to some dumbarse on ebay, there's always some spoiled kid with too much money...
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BlackLiger
- Posts: 1371
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SpikedHelmet
- MC: Legacy & Spring 1944 Developer
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