Nice guys do not get girls... [contains immature language]

[hoijui]

edit: also, just for the record, my gf finds my software very impressive. But I don't think we would of been together if that was the only thing that I could impress her with

i KNEW there could be no technical reason to get that huge intertubes of yours. anyone knows that ADSL is sufficient!

Z, he got himself fibre.
zzzzz... "car"! :D

[zwzsg]

Before we theorise about the cause of a phenomenom, we must first assess its existence.

So before we go any further, I'd like to get hard data on:
- Percent of married men per income slice.
- Percent of married men per IQ slice.
- Percent of married men per geekitude slice.
- Percent of married men per niceness slice.
- Percent of married men per violence slice.

The penultimate one might be tricky as I'm not aware of any standardised measure of niceness. Geek tests, while not standards, are on the other hand plentiful. For the violence measure, I suppose we could use number of criminal records.


And since "getting" a girl doesn't equate marrying her (indeed, some argue only insecure lousers surrender to marriage, in the vain hope of securing at least one girl), we also need data on:
- Average number of women fucked per men income slice.
- Average number of women fucked per men IQ slice.
- Average number of women fucked per men geekitude slice.
- Average number of women fucked per men niceness slice.
- Average number of women fucked per men violence slice.

Where we might need to make a distinction between paid fucking and free fucking. Though seeing where that topic is going, it won't be long before it gets said that all girls are always after the money.

I'm also supposing that gay men are a small percentile enough to not screw the figures. Might need to check that.

Only after that data is gathered will we be able to continute this discussion on healthy basis.

[dizekat]

good analysis, i would propose to also include count and duration of sex into the statistics (someone could have 10 one night stands a year and do it for 20 years and have 'got' 200 girls while having relatively very little sex).
regarding gay men: as long as the figures are female, gay men won't screw the figures much.

[knorke]

good analysis

Noooot, you need to go derper.

Average number of women fucked per men niceness slice.
What if the not-nice fuck a lot, the a-little-nice-ones are average and the ultra nice ones alot again?

I was going to use violence as example at first but figured maybe thats not so good.

[dizekat]

good analysis

Noooot, you need to go derper.

thats what she said.

[Johannes]

PM me how you rate on the various scales, I'll process the results v scientifically

[Neddie]

I haven't read most of this thread, but I'd like to note something...

Being a kind, considerate person never hurt. There is a disconnect between being "nice" and being kind, considerate and worthwhile.

[dizekat]

Suppose 2 guys are dating a hot girl and both find her hot and are interested in sex. Both are not too ugly, and not too unfit.
Guy 1 is being nice - does not show his sexual interest (because he thinks it's un-nice to show it) , does all the nice stuff like holding the door open buying flowers, etc.
Guy 2 , after sufficient small talk, asks her (politely) if she wants to have sex, whispers how he's wants to be kissing on her neck and gently touching all the parts that are normally covered by clothing, etc, you get the idea.
Now, what do you think usually happens?

(edit: and yes its late and yes i'm trolling but it is a legitimate thought provoking question)

[Wombat]

guy 1 listen to her life drama, problems at school etc (she treats him as a friend )

guy 2 gets bitchslapped or scores, worth a risk

if guy 2 gets bitchslapped, guy 1 may score or he got served another life drama

[smoth]

guy 2 would likely get slapped 2/3rds of the time.

[Wombat]

i think if they both try to bang her together, they got same chance to score, but difference is they BOTH will score :D

[Johannes]

Really just depends on the girl and the exact way the guys present themselves.

[dizekat]

Note: guy 2 asks a question nicely, he's not actually grabbing her, and he's not being dishonest. Just a bit blunt.

[MidKnight]

Note: guy 2 asks a question nicely, he's not actually grabbing her, and he's not being dishonest. Just a bit blunt.

It's really a question of how suave somebody can be in expressing that, or who the girl is. Something else to consider is that the reaction could be different if you look like this, as opposed to this.


Something that this thread seems to miss almost entirely is that women are people, too. It's actually kind of stupid to assume that all girls are the same and acting a certain way will get you all the the girls, while acting differently will get you none.

Just think about it: if you were a girl, and some guy presented themselves to you that way, how would you react? Depending on who you are (and who that imaginary guy is), your conclusion will likely be different.

[dizekat]

well the point is that with the first guy, you see, for girl to score the girl has to ultimately get the nerve to ask this kind of question, which is none of you ever even thought of, not even the declarative 'girls are people too' person. Do you understand it is hard to ask this kind of question? Do you even know that it is *polite* for the guy to be the one having to get the nerve to risk potentially humiliating rejection? (edit: scrap that, it's not even gender-biased. It's simply *nicer* to take that kind of risk yourself rather than go round and around and force other person take that risk)

Also, the point of the question is that everything else is mostly equal. They are equally handsome, equally charming, equally witty, etc.

[MidKnight]

well the point is that with the first guy, you see, for girl to score the girl has to ultimately get the nerve to ask this kind of question, which is none of you ever even thought of, not even the declarative 'girls are people too' person. Do you understand it is hard to ask this kind of question? Do you even know that it is *polite* for the guy to be the one having to get the nerve to risk potentially humiliating rejection?

Also, the point of the question is that everything else is mostly equal. They are equally handsome, equally charming, equally witty, etc.

Ah! I think I see what you mean.

And yeah, of course, there's a point where the guy could/should try and escalate things. The really hard part would be judging when and how.

[dizekat]

yea my point is that guy #1 is NOT in fact nice, because for anything to happen either the guy or the girl has to ask that question and risk rejection and associated feelings, and it is just plain nicer to take that kind of risks yourself (it isn't even gender biased, and it goes not only for sex, for business negotiations as well).

[BaNa]

eh, if you find someone attractive, ask them out. That about covers it.

Also:

There is no "special one" who is your soulmate, meaningful relationships develop over time but you will not get anywhere by obsessing over any given girl.

There we go.

Edit:

This is relevant shit too.

[smoth]

Guy #2 is a douche, I don't care how you try and wrap that strawman he has a popped collar.

Guy #2 doesn't know the girl or her reason for being there and is essentially just trying to push his way in by a show of sexual aggression. Maybe she didn't come here for that? That is why I say 2/3rds of the time the guy is getting slapped or a drink poured on.

Maybe if they had been talking for a while but honestly not some complete stranger. Sure she might be on the prowl as well but really the only reason strat 2 works is because the question gets out there. Fact of the matter is that I propose a 3rd guy.

guy 3, sees the chick is dealing with nice guy and dude with boner. Realizes she is having a rough night and just talks to her. Guy 3 feels her out and gets an idea of what she is into then drops cheesy line or just lets her get sloshed. if the goal is to bone her the guy who actually fishes a little bit would have better luck.

Simple as that, a true player understands the game has rules and you have to feel out the other person. Sure guy with dick out his pants will get more than the dude who fumbles with his zipper but the suave motherfucker will get the girl more often than either of these two hormonal idiots.

[nightcold]

i know that spring threads(especially on the none game related) are filled with tolling and unseriousness, but i'll comment anyway

it is impossible for someone to know that you are "nice" when they first met you...people's characters generally bubble up after many many encounters.
so i think that it is safe to assume that by "nice guys" you mean people who are doormats/lack of social skills/shy. so if that is what you mean by "nice guy", no...you dont want to be a "nice guy". generally the things i mentioned above can be overcome...and if ur putting up a frount(in some desporate attempt to get laid beause you lack confidence) people can generaly see through you(i think, personaly i smell these people a mile away...or at lest i think i do)


and next time, dont look for advice from the internet