What are Canadian troops doing in Afghanistan? Gettin' high.

SpikedHelmet · Post by **SpikedHelmet** » 13 Oct 2006, 01:48

OTTAWA, Canada (Reuters) -- Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of marijuana plants 10 feet tall.

General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defense staff, said Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response, the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana.

"The challenge is that marijuana plants absorb energy, heat very readily. It's very difficult to penetrate with thermal devices. ... And as a result you really have to be careful that the Taliban don't dodge in and out of those marijuana forests," he said in a speech in Ottawa, Canada.

"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said.

Even successful incineration had its drawbacks.

"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those [forests] did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hillier said dryly.

ROFL. Only in the Canadian Army would such a horribly Monty Python-esque thing occur...

Snipawolf · Post by **Snipawolf** » 13 Oct 2006, 01:52

Hahahaha, lol

Post by **Tim Blokdijk** » 13 Oct 2006, 01:54

Make love not war

Neddie · Post by **Neddie** » 13 Oct 2006, 02:05

I am reminded of History Of The World Part One... to a minor degree.

SwiftSpear · Post by **SwiftSpear** » 13 Oct 2006, 05:55

Man, join the Canadian army FTW.

Zoombie · Post by **Zoombie** » 13 Oct 2006, 06:18

This seems like something that should happen more often.. just in general...

nobody2u · Post by **nobody2u** » 13 Oct 2006, 06:33

I doubt this is a good idea; once that pot start burning the crew might do get high and start running into the forest naked

LOrDo · Post by **LOrDo** » 13 Oct 2006, 07:08

Best political post ever.

KDR_11k · Post by **KDR_11k** » 13 Oct 2006, 08:57

Hey, that's an assault plan: Light the edges of the forest on fire, some of the smoke is definitely going to go inwards.

rattle · Post by **rattle** » 13 Oct 2006, 11:39

Or use napalm. Napalm doesn't care if the plants are wet.

LathanStanley · Post by **LathanStanley** » 13 Oct 2006, 12:22

FORESTS OF WEED!!!

WE'RE THERE DUDE!!!

rattle · Post by **rattle** » 13 Oct 2006, 14:44

... or just send latahan over, he'll take care of it.

j5mello · Post by **j5mello** » 13 Oct 2006, 16:44

if you want it done faster just ship a good portion of US high school students over there. there'll be nothing but open ground in under a week.

SpikedHelmet · Post by **SpikedHelmet** » 13 Oct 2006, 16:54

If WP isn't going to burn it (WP is used to, among other things, melt metal) I doubt napalm would...

rattle · Post by **rattle** » 13 Oct 2006, 18:06

I'm pretty sure napalm would do the job. You can't extinguish it with water IIRC.

j5mello · Post by **j5mello** » 13 Oct 2006, 20:38

you are correct

KDR_11k · Post by **KDR_11k** » 13 Oct 2006, 21:21

Yes but you can't start a self sustaining fire like that, the napalm would burn up and that's it. In order to burn it down you need to make the plants themselves actually burn (otherwise you've only got depleted napalm sludge on the plants).

BlackLiger · Post by **BlackLiger** » 13 Oct 2006, 21:49

I vote high explosive shelling.

1v0ry_k1ng · Post by **1v0ry_k1ng** » 13 Oct 2006, 22:23

why not just spray the area with nuclear and acidic industrial waste? gaurenteed victory in the least ethical way possible ^^

rattle · Post by **rattle** » 13 Oct 2006, 22:39

Use nerve gas instead, you wouldn't want the poor plants got to waste now would you.

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What are Canadian troops doing in Afghanistan? Gettin' high.

What are Canadian troops doing in Afghanistan? Gettin' high.