How to tell if you're a noob at CA

How to tell if you're a noob at CA

A dynamic game undergoing constant development and refinement, that attempts to balance playability with fresh and innovative features.

Moderator: Content Developer

luckywaldo7
Posts: 1398
Joined: 17 Sep 2008, 04:36

How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by luckywaldo7 »

I was a bit bored between classes so here's something I came up with. And no, I'm not planning on quiting my day job. Mostly a combination of tips, for CA and in general, and some humor.

And yes, this is a minute of your life that you will never get back.
You know you are a noob at CA if:
  • 18. You look for the metal makers in the build list but can't find them.

    17. You wonder where your com's dgun went.

    16. You try combomb.

    15. You tech.

    14. You nanofarm.

    13a. You start by boosting a fusion.
    13b. You have 4 fusions and no army.
    13c. You have more fusions then you have metal extractors.
    13d. You make a fusion where there are a lot of trees. (this is not the time and place to worry about the environment)

    12a. You don't know what overdrive is.
    12b. You know what overdrive is and you think its a gift from God.

    11a. You make no llt in your base and get pwned by a jeffy.
    13e/11b. The fusion you just boosted gets pwned by a jeffy.
    13f/11c. The fusions you stacked right next to each other chain explode from a jeffy.
    11d. You make too many llt's in your base.
    11e. You make lots of any kind of defenses in your base.
    11f. You make lots of pop-ups everywhere.
    11g. You make a depthcharge launcher anywhere. (assuming its a land map)

    10a. You look for shields on an arm con's buildlist and can't find them.
    10b. You look for cloakers on an core con's buildlist and can't find them.
    10c. You get pwned by arty because you couldn't find which of the two above you wanted.
    10d. You don't know what arty is.
    10e. And now your beautiful porc is dead.
    10f. You don't know what porc is.

    9a. You spam only penetrators.
    9b. You spam only snipers.
    9c. You spam only cloggers.
    9d. You spam only flash.
    9e. You spam only multirole fighters.

    8a. You throw your raiders against riot units.
    8b. You charge your riot against assault.
    8c. You use your assault to defend against raiders.
    8d. You think that assault micro means moving them just inside defensive range and then running back away.
    8e. You think that skirmisher micro means charging into defenses.

    7a. Your team calls you a noob.
    7b. The spectators call you a noob.
    7c. Your opponent calls you pro.

    6. You don't use "L" view because it makes everything too dark.

    5. You are worried about hotkeys because that would mean your laptop is overheating.

    4. You play on a laptop and use the touchpad instead of a mouse.

    3. You wish the wrecks on the battlefield would go away like the bodies in GTA.

    2a. Your think that flat balance is awesome because you can nuke rush so much faster now.
    2b. You're mad because your teammates didn't protect that nuke for you.
    2c. Or your Krogoth. Which is actually a Saktoth.

    1. You don't think any of the stuff on this list is really all that bad.
Everyone is welcome to throw out some more examples if they want. Don't be shy, they can't be as bad as some of mine :lol:
Google_Frog
Moderator
Posts: 2451
Joined: 12 Oct 2007, 09:24

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Google_Frog »

13a. You start by boosting a fusion.
Thats a viable start.
9c. You spam only cloggers.
You've got Carrepairer covered.
User avatar
CarRepairer
Cursed Zero-K Developer
Posts: 3359
Joined: 07 Nov 2007, 21:48

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by CarRepairer »

Google_Frog wrote:
9c. You spam only cloggers.
You've got Carrepairer covered.
Clogger spam cannot fail and is guaranteed to win every time!

(Not a guarantee)
User avatar
Otherside
Posts: 2296
Joined: 21 Feb 2006, 14:09

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Otherside »

You get trolled by otherside

You dont use the sprint button on zippers and get trolled for it
User avatar
Jazcash
Posts: 5306
Joined: 08 Dec 2007, 17:39

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Jazcash »

You play BA.
User avatar
Neddie
Community Lead
Posts: 9406
Joined: 10 Apr 2006, 05:05

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Neddie »

You play CA.
User avatar
Acidd_UK
Posts: 963
Joined: 23 Apr 2006, 02:15

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Acidd_UK »

You play Starcraft
User avatar
1v0ry_k1ng
Posts: 4656
Joined: 10 Mar 2006, 10:24

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by 1v0ry_k1ng »

you post here
User avatar
Neddie
Community Lead
Posts: 9406
Joined: 10 Apr 2006, 05:05

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Neddie »

You post anywhere.
Caradhras
Posts: 381
Joined: 31 Jul 2006, 21:49

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Caradhras »

You scratch your head?
Raxxman
Posts: 40
Joined: 05 May 2008, 15:33

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Raxxman »

you think comet catcher is underplayed.
User avatar
Pxtl
Posts: 6112
Joined: 23 Oct 2004, 01:43

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Pxtl »

You build only one factory. Seriously, they're only 500, and if you really need to save up for the switchover you can reclaim the old one.

edit: I play Logos, but want to try Nova soon. What's the command for "Sprint" so I can bind a keybind to it? Do other units have that besides the Zipper?
Ashnal
Posts: 104
Joined: 24 Jun 2008, 00:57

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Ashnal »

Only the zipper has it.
Saktoth
Zero-K Developer
Posts: 2665
Joined: 28 Nov 2006, 13:22

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Saktoth »

I suspect that, if its possible, it would just be 'sprint' the same way jump is 'jump'.

Probably bind it to the same key as jump is.

Its not all that useful, the zipper isnt all that useful in general.
User avatar
Blackdutchie
Posts: 71
Joined: 12 Mar 2009, 20:41

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Blackdutchie »

i tried using zippers against core infantry raiders, zippers were a bit stronger, but they could use a tad more range imho.
User avatar
Acidd_UK
Posts: 963
Joined: 23 Apr 2006, 02:15

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Acidd_UK »

You play one race exclusively.
User avatar
CarRepairer
Cursed Zero-K Developer
Posts: 3359
Joined: 07 Nov 2007, 21:48

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by CarRepairer »

Zippers do more damage than they appear to. Their laser looks like a pathetic Jeffy-type when it's really not. Unit Guide
User avatar
Pxtl
Posts: 6112
Joined: 23 Oct 2004, 01:43

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Pxtl »

CarRepairer wrote:Zippers do more damage than they appear to. Their laser looks like a pathetic Jeffy-type when it's really not. Unit Guide
imho, the zipper's little pew-pew beam should be changed out for a more impressive weapon-effect. Personally I've always fantasized about them getting some sort of armor-buster weapon like a short-ranged rocko-rocket to cement their role as raiding only sluggish targets (instead of fighting other raiders)... but either way, a more powerful-looking weapon would be nice.
User avatar
1v0ry_k1ng
Posts: 4656
Joined: 10 Mar 2006, 10:24

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by 1v0ry_k1ng »

Acidd_UK wrote:You play one race exclusively.
well, thats the entire BA community noobified
User avatar
Jazcash
Posts: 5306
Joined: 08 Dec 2007, 17:39

Re: How to tell if you're a noob at CA

Post by Jazcash »

You use 1's instead of I's.
Post Reply

Return to “Zero-K”