Boirunners guide how NOT to play in Spring - Page 2

Boirunners guide how NOT to play in Spring

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Ishach
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Post by Ishach » 05 Feb 2007, 22:20

Boirunner wrote:() DIVERSIFY YOUR ATTACK! When you have a group of units, you don't want them to attack the enemy all at the same time and at the same place, because then if one dies they all die. Instead, attack in single file, or from different directions at once. That way, you spread out - and therefore multipy - your attack!
lol
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flop
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Post by flop » 05 Feb 2007, 22:29

Hahahahaha
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Boirunner
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Post by Boirunner » 05 Feb 2007, 23:03

() PLAY DYNAMICALLY! The speed setting is there for a reason! If the game is slow for a while, do not hesitate to increase speed by pressing the "+" button. Why wait and do nothing when you can fast forward the game until something interesting happens? That's stupid. And if your host decides to .setmaxspeed, that is unacceptable behaviour, and should be followed by a ragequit to demonstrate that it will not be tolerated. Nobody has the right to waste your time! Also, just before an attack, you should pause the game so you have more time to micro all your units. That's what the pause key is there for, after all. The defender gets the same time as you, so it's all fair. Of course if someone else pauses, you should just unpause if you don't have anything to micro. The other guy could do that too, so if he doesn't he's just a n00b who doesn't deserve better!

() CHOOSE YOUR STARTING LOCATION CAREFULLY! This cannot be emphasized enough! Image if you started in front of all your allies, thus dieing first! You would be called a n00b by all your allies! Therefore, set your starting point in front, but do not click ready. After everyone else in your team has readied up, change your starting location to behind the strongest player (besides you of course!!) in your team. This way, he will protect you as you tech to t2 with your four metal spots, and you will survive longest, proving that you are the only non-n00b in your team!

() PLAN WISELY! Before the game has started, you need to plan on what units you will use to crush your n00bish enemy. Under no circumstances should you deviate from your plan. If you do, that proves that your plan wasn't good and that you are a n00b. If you were, for example, to chose hovercraft as your winning strategy, you should never even have to build a shipyard! That is not part of your strategy! Remember: only n00bs ignore their plans!

() SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE! Fast units have almost no hp and do litte damage. Therefore, they are as good as useless in spring. How will you kill a krog with pussy units like the Zipper? That ridiculous! As soon as you can, you need to focus on building Sumos and such. It may take them a while to get there, but at least they will do some damage and take down a HLT or two. After all, that's why you are attacking his base. If your ally runs past the enemies defenses, and tries to get past them into his base, tell them they are n00bs. How could you win a game when the enemies defenses are still there? That's dumb. Remember: always attack the frontal defenses first. Think about it: his fusion reactors can't kill your units. His HLTs can. So you need to attack the HLTs, that's the only sure way to win!!
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1v0ry_k1ng
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Post by 1v0ry_k1ng » 06 Feb 2007, 00:10

this is frightening, its like an insight into the minds of so many poor team-mates I have witnessed
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Uberleechen
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Post by Uberleechen » 06 Feb 2007, 00:54

This really is scary.

I've had so many people focus their assault on, say, my AA structures when they could've just taken out my economy with half the effort.
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LordMatt
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Post by LordMatt » 06 Feb 2007, 01:16

Someone forgot to make one of the posts via his proxy. 8)
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jackalope
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Post by jackalope » 06 Feb 2007, 01:22

Uberleechen wrote:This really is scary.

I've had so many people focus their assault on, say, my AA structures when they could've just taken out my economy with half the effort.
how else will my banshees destroy you?
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Boirunner
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Post by Boirunner » 06 Feb 2007, 01:50

LordMatt wrote:Someone forgot to make one of the posts via his proxy. 8)
I never forget anything, you n00b! Don't try to cover up that we are in fact the same person!

() FOCUS AND CONCENTRATE! Don't go building a few of these units and a few of those! Every unit has its role, and thus once you have a role figured out you should only build units fitting that role. Building different types of units for an attack just means that lots of units wont be ideal for the kind of attack you are planning! For example, don't built arty and tanks, because if you tell your army to frontal attack, the arty will be useless, and if you tell it to attack from range, the tanks will be useless! Only build one kind of unit and stick with it, that ensures victory!
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jackalope
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Post by jackalope » 06 Feb 2007, 04:41

LordMatt wrote:Someone forgot to make one of the posts via his proxy. 8)
Are you a moderator?
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Neuralize
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Post by Neuralize » 06 Feb 2007, 04:45

It's a little weird because he mixes legitimate strategy and retard strategy. So, maybe he's not that good at Spring himself. :P
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hunterw
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Post by hunterw » 06 Feb 2007, 05:14

jackalope wrote: Are you a moderator?
I don't think LordMatt is a Forum Moderator
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Peet
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Post by Peet » 06 Feb 2007, 05:37

Yeah he is...note the little "Forum Moderator" under his name >_>
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jackalope
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Post by jackalope » 06 Feb 2007, 06:23

P3374H wrote:Yeah he is...note the little "Forum Moderator" under his name >_>
He who does violence to creatures seeking happiness like himself does not find happiness after death.
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rattle
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Post by rattle » 06 Feb 2007, 06:33

He's a moderator in disguise...
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hunterw
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Post by hunterw » 06 Feb 2007, 08:18

jackalope wrote: He who does violence to creatures seeking happiness like himself does not find happiness after death.
That's what I'm stressin
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Boirunner
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Post by Boirunner » 06 Feb 2007, 10:52

Neuralize wrote:It's a little weird because he mixes legitimate strategy and retard strategy. So, maybe he's not that good at Spring himself. :P
You are a n00b if you think that. N00b!
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Lolsquad_Steven
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Post by Lolsquad_Steven » 06 Feb 2007, 11:03

What's your name btw?
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Deathblane
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Post by Deathblane » 06 Feb 2007, 11:51

()SPAMMING #MAIN People are unobservent!
If they don't notice the game you've hosted the best way to get them to join is to repeatedly post
"5 MOAR 4 SM JOIN NOW!!!!!!" in #main.
Additionally, the less letters you use the easier it will be for people to read and join your game.
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SwiftSpear
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Post by SwiftSpear » 06 Feb 2007, 12:35

Unlocked with a condition... admitantly that kind of ruins the point of the joke to begin with...

However, I'm gonna require it because of the horrifying thought of someone new actually reading here and believing anything said here is a good idea.
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Ishach
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Post by Ishach » 06 Feb 2007, 14:28

if they read it and they think its serious advice i dont think playing badly in TAS is the worst of their worries
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