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What are Canadian troops doing in Afghanistan? Gettin' high.
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 01:48
by SpikedHelmet
OTTAWA, Canada (Reuters) -- Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of marijuana plants 10 feet tall.
General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defense staff, said Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response, the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana.
"The challenge is that marijuana plants absorb energy, heat very readily. It's very difficult to penetrate with thermal devices. ... And as a result you really have to be careful that the Taliban don't dodge in and out of those marijuana forests," he said in a speech in Ottawa, Canada.
"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said.
Even successful incineration had its drawbacks.
"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those [forests] did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hillier said dryly.
ROFL. Only in the Canadian Army would such a horribly Monty Python-esque thing occur...
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 01:52
by Snipawolf
Hahahaha, lol
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 01:54
by Tim Blokdijk
Make love not war

Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 02:05
by Neddie
I am reminded of History Of The World Part One... to a minor degree.
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 05:55
by SwiftSpear
Man, join the Canadian army FTW.
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 06:18
by Zoombie
This seems like something that should happen more often.. just in general...
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 06:33
by nobody2u
I doubt this is a good idea; once that pot start burning the crew might do get high and start running into the forest naked

Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 07:08
by LOrDo
Best political post ever.
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 08:57
by KDR_11k
Hey, that's an assault plan: Light the edges of the forest on fire, some of the smoke is definitely going to go inwards.
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 11:39
by rattle
Or use napalm. Napalm doesn't care if the plants are wet.
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 12:22
by LathanStanley
FORESTS OF WEED!!!
WE'RE THERE DUDE!!!
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 14:44
by rattle
... or just send latahan over, he'll take care of it.

Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 16:44
by j5mello
if you want it done faster just ship a good portion of US high school students over there. there'll be nothing but open ground in under a week.
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 16:54
by SpikedHelmet
If WP isn't going to burn it (WP is used to, among other things, melt metal) I doubt napalm would...
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 18:06
by rattle
I'm pretty sure napalm would do the job. You can't extinguish it with water IIRC.
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 20:38
by j5mello
you are correct
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 21:21
by KDR_11k
Yes but you can't start a self sustaining fire like that, the napalm would burn up and that's it. In order to burn it down you need to make the plants themselves actually burn (otherwise you've only got depleted napalm sludge on the plants).
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 21:49
by BlackLiger
I vote high explosive shelling.
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 22:23
by 1v0ry_k1ng
why not just spray the area with nuclear and acidic industrial waste? gaurenteed victory in the least ethical way possible ^^
Posted: 13 Oct 2006, 22:39
by rattle
Use nerve gas instead, you wouldn't want the poor plants got to waste now would you.