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Womans
Posted: 12 May 2006, 21:56
by PauloMorfeo
As a note, i once knew how to write the plural form of the english word «woman» but it is now lost in time and space.
Woman - A Chemical Analysis
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discover: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
Occurrences: Copious quantities in all urban areas
Physical Properties:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
Chemical Properties:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
3. Should you experience itching, burning or rash, discontinue use immediately and seek medical treatment.
Received this on my mail a long time ago, in portuguese. I figured out that the oracle Google could enlighten me, once again, this time with a english version.
Posted: 12 May 2006, 22:08
by PauloMorfeo
Some more concerning understanding womans.
I once heard, on the radio, some results of a study made on great britain to 5K womans about lying.
- - The average lying rate was every day.
- The persons to whom they would lie the less was they're bosses followed by coluegues of work.
- The persons to whom they lied more, following friends, were they're romantic partners (boyfriends, husbands, etc).
- Among the top ten lies, there was the «it was just a drink».
- Among the top three lies, there was the «you are great in bed».
- The single most frequent lie was «i love you».
I have no reason to think it is any diferent here in Portugal and i would guess it is basicaly the same in all western countries.
It is especially interesting to think or interpret regular behaviours of womans considering this.
Posted: 12 May 2006, 22:44
by Machiosabre
well to be honest I lie constantly and wouldn't expect women to do otherwise
Re: Womans
Posted: 13 May 2006, 00:04
by FizWizz
Woman - A Chemical Analysis
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discover: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
Occurrences: Copious quantities in all urban areas
Physical Properties:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
Chemical Properties:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
3. Should you experience itching, burning or rash, discontinue use immediately and seek medical treatment.
Funny you posted this, there's a poster of that same thing in the Stockroom of the Chemistry Department @ my college.
Posted: 13 May 2006, 13:18
by unpossible
and we wonder why they don't want to play games with the rest of the 'community'...
Posted: 14 May 2006, 02:27
by Neddie
My woman also has an affinity for those women that make her turn green, though she doesn't know that she's superior to all of them.
Posted: 14 May 2006, 03:19
by Min3mat
its 'women'
bit of a silly thread, you cannot hate 'womens' without loving them...
Posted: 14 May 2006, 04:54
by mongus
Machiosabre wrote:well to be honest I lie constantly and wouldn't expect women to do otherwise
there we go again.
Posted: 14 May 2006, 04:58
by SwiftSpear
mongus wrote:Machiosabre wrote:well to be honest I lie constantly and wouldn't expect women to do otherwise
there we go again.
You catch the hypocracy on that one too mong?
Posted: 14 May 2006, 06:02
by Sheekel
Women.
Women piss me off. A lot.
Its the constant bombardment of mixed messages, the lies of rape and sexual harassment that they can get away with, the greed (or Gold Digging), getting out of work by faking cramps, or even the whole "princess" state of mind. Not to mention using sex as a reward instead of an expression of affection has totally messed up society.
That and about 90% of the women I know have NO common sense. At all.
Posted: 14 May 2006, 07:29
by Zoombie
You, my friend, sound very unlucky. That sounds like pretty much every horrible stereotype possible in woman kind, and with a 90 percent concentration too! Ugh.
My spread is more a 74%-26%-10%, with the lesser number being the idiots, the largest number being normals, and the second smallest number being truly intelligent, nice people.
Mabey your normal and I'm bizarrely lucky.
Or i have lower standers
Posted: 14 May 2006, 11:24
by Comp1337
Sheekel wrote:Women.
Women piss me off. A lot.
Its the constant bombardment of mixed messages, the lies of rape and sexual harassment that they can get away with, the greed (or Gold Digging), getting out of work by faking cramps, or even the whole "princess" state of mind. Not to mention using sex as a reward instead of an expression of affection has totally messed up society.
That and about 90% of the women I know have NO common sense. At all.
Agreed.
Posted: 14 May 2006, 17:44
by PauloMorfeo
Min3mat wrote:...
bit of a silly thread, you cannot hate 'womens' without loving them...
What the hell? Where have i writen in this thread i started that i hated women or that the thread would be about anything like that?
I like having fun and what i posted is fun (at least to me) and that is the only reason i posted it.
Sheekel wrote:Women.
Women piss me off. A lot.
...
Yet, you keep searching contact with them... Like i said in the other thread, it's not like you can't chose your friends. Either learn to accept that it is you who searches contact with them or stop mingle with people who annoys you (seeming to be women).
Although i understand the resentments towards women, i started this thread for fun and for fun stuff. I do not like to see it degenerate into «i hate women» stuff nor to have my posts interpreted as «i hate women» stuff wither.
And since i recently found out that i am a moderator for quite some time now (
), i am giving it the lock now
.