Lern2play noob: A hint
Posted: 27 Sep 2008, 06:54
Things you should do as a noob:
1. Declare you are a new player:
In bigger games, you might need to repeat the point several times until someone responds to you, but you should say something like 'I am a new player'.
2. Expect to be bitched at:
As a new player, you should be willing to absorb a certain amount of player-based flak, they will no doubt mock you, call you names or generally piss all over you until you learn your flash from your buzzsaw.
3. Provide support:
So you're new, this means that you are basically 'that guy' when it comes to people who are going to get bitched at for doing something wrong. DO NOT FRET. Most of the time people will bitch at you in a message, but provide you with an alternate strategy that will aid them. For instance:
"STOP ECONNING NOOB" means: "Can you produce some offensive units?"
"ARE YOU AFRAID OF SUBS?!" means: "Reclaim that depthcharge launcher, this is a non-ship map"
"F***ING ADVANCE" means: "Move your forces from where you are towards where the enemy are/ help repel an enemy assault/ the front line"
"NOOB" frequently means: "Stop building that advanced vehicle/kbot/air lab and either send units/resources/prayers to the front line"
"TARD" means that: "You are building a unit that is useless, reclaim it and build something more appropriate to this situation".
4. LISTEN TO THE OTHER PLAYERS:
Frequently, I have been teamed with a noob who has 'DA MASTAR PLAN', which usually means tech-ing up (Building a tech 2 facility without resources to do it), then building a nuclear missile silo (Without the resources to do it) and then expecting everyone else to cover them while they waste 50 minutes building a nuclear missle. DO NOT BE THAT PERSON. If you are teamed with people who seem to know what they are doing, ask them to suggest a particular strategy or suggest that you can feed a frontline player resources while they expand. DO NOT EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO YOUR BIDDING. Frequently the guy yelling 'GIVE ME ENERGY(or E) on the front line actually needs E-energy, and should be given whatever you have spare (H brings up the player list and a resource bar, select the player and then select the resources you want to share by moving the bar and hitting ok). While the backfield (Typically, the player furthest away from the action) player screams 'GIVE ME METAL' while he attempts to build a Vulcan. This leads on to...
5. Don't build noob structures:
Attempting to build a noob structure typically shows how stupid a player is, a short list of high-end noob structures is this:
An:
Advanced fusion (Thanks for building a super-high explosive in the middle of your base)
A Fusion-Moho Metal maker-fusion pile (Thanks for making some super-low health point explosive structures next to a high value target)
A shield near fusions (Basically, a shield protects against plasma (Bertha-Guardian-popup, etc) but not against some bombers. It also explodes, like a penetrator (Arm blue lazer death machine))
A Krogoth (Thanks for spending nearly an hour building a unit that one commander can destroy in less than a second).
A teir three lab (10 grand of metal for nothing).
A Buzzsaw/Vulcan (Every player in Spring should vow that if a player outside of a metal map decides to build this hunk of useless shite that they should be banned from every proper battle until they realise that they're stupid for building it).
Now I don't discount that some of these structures are useful when you are pouring fire on an enemy, but when you are losing, these structures typically paint a big red target on yourself with a sign that says 'SHOOT ME HERE PLEASE'
6. WATCH THE MINI-MAP/ALLIES CHAT
For some games, I have repeatedly relayed that the front will not hold unless someone sends useful units to the front to hold off the enemy, I have frequently seen players continue to build 'econ' while the entire front (And in several cases, the entire game) crumble while I could only watch as they strolled up with no fear as they raped every idiot who thought they're team was best served by going for tech 2 with no energy/metal to back them up.
IF A PLAYER IS ECONNING, YOU MUST PRODUCE OFFENSIVE UNITS.
In a 7v7 situation, at best, you want 2 people econning, anything more weakens the front line and allows the enemy to build up a sufficent force to break through whatever defenses the front line players have erected. As a special DSD note:
IF THE BASIN AS 4 ENEMY COLORS AND 3 FRIENDLY COLORS, YOU HAVE TO BACK UP THE FRIENDLYS.
Frequently I have found myself fighting off four enemy colors while 4 players twirled their fingers and econned. Also I found that once my line broke, they would all start producing units to defend THEIR OWN BASES. This is NOT GOOD TEAMWORK. Spring past a 1v1 is about teamwork, if you fail to realise this go back to quake, because you aren't helpful to anyone.
If a front line player starts to fall, you HELP THAT PERSON, you do not CONTINUE TO TECH UP WHILE THEIR LINE DISINTERGRATES.
That is all for now.
1. Declare you are a new player:
In bigger games, you might need to repeat the point several times until someone responds to you, but you should say something like 'I am a new player'.
2. Expect to be bitched at:
As a new player, you should be willing to absorb a certain amount of player-based flak, they will no doubt mock you, call you names or generally piss all over you until you learn your flash from your buzzsaw.
3. Provide support:
So you're new, this means that you are basically 'that guy' when it comes to people who are going to get bitched at for doing something wrong. DO NOT FRET. Most of the time people will bitch at you in a message, but provide you with an alternate strategy that will aid them. For instance:
"STOP ECONNING NOOB" means: "Can you produce some offensive units?"
"ARE YOU AFRAID OF SUBS?!" means: "Reclaim that depthcharge launcher, this is a non-ship map"
"F***ING ADVANCE" means: "Move your forces from where you are towards where the enemy are/ help repel an enemy assault/ the front line"
"NOOB" frequently means: "Stop building that advanced vehicle/kbot/air lab and either send units/resources/prayers to the front line"
"TARD" means that: "You are building a unit that is useless, reclaim it and build something more appropriate to this situation".
4. LISTEN TO THE OTHER PLAYERS:
Frequently, I have been teamed with a noob who has 'DA MASTAR PLAN', which usually means tech-ing up (Building a tech 2 facility without resources to do it), then building a nuclear missile silo (Without the resources to do it) and then expecting everyone else to cover them while they waste 50 minutes building a nuclear missle. DO NOT BE THAT PERSON. If you are teamed with people who seem to know what they are doing, ask them to suggest a particular strategy or suggest that you can feed a frontline player resources while they expand. DO NOT EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO YOUR BIDDING. Frequently the guy yelling 'GIVE ME ENERGY(or E) on the front line actually needs E-energy, and should be given whatever you have spare (H brings up the player list and a resource bar, select the player and then select the resources you want to share by moving the bar and hitting ok). While the backfield (Typically, the player furthest away from the action) player screams 'GIVE ME METAL' while he attempts to build a Vulcan. This leads on to...
5. Don't build noob structures:
Attempting to build a noob structure typically shows how stupid a player is, a short list of high-end noob structures is this:
An:
Advanced fusion (Thanks for building a super-high explosive in the middle of your base)
A Fusion-Moho Metal maker-fusion pile (Thanks for making some super-low health point explosive structures next to a high value target)
A shield near fusions (Basically, a shield protects against plasma (Bertha-Guardian-popup, etc) but not against some bombers. It also explodes, like a penetrator (Arm blue lazer death machine))
A Krogoth (Thanks for spending nearly an hour building a unit that one commander can destroy in less than a second).
A teir three lab (10 grand of metal for nothing).
A Buzzsaw/Vulcan (Every player in Spring should vow that if a player outside of a metal map decides to build this hunk of useless shite that they should be banned from every proper battle until they realise that they're stupid for building it).
Now I don't discount that some of these structures are useful when you are pouring fire on an enemy, but when you are losing, these structures typically paint a big red target on yourself with a sign that says 'SHOOT ME HERE PLEASE'
6. WATCH THE MINI-MAP/ALLIES CHAT
For some games, I have repeatedly relayed that the front will not hold unless someone sends useful units to the front to hold off the enemy, I have frequently seen players continue to build 'econ' while the entire front (And in several cases, the entire game) crumble while I could only watch as they strolled up with no fear as they raped every idiot who thought they're team was best served by going for tech 2 with no energy/metal to back them up.
IF A PLAYER IS ECONNING, YOU MUST PRODUCE OFFENSIVE UNITS.
In a 7v7 situation, at best, you want 2 people econning, anything more weakens the front line and allows the enemy to build up a sufficent force to break through whatever defenses the front line players have erected. As a special DSD note:
IF THE BASIN AS 4 ENEMY COLORS AND 3 FRIENDLY COLORS, YOU HAVE TO BACK UP THE FRIENDLYS.
Frequently I have found myself fighting off four enemy colors while 4 players twirled their fingers and econned. Also I found that once my line broke, they would all start producing units to defend THEIR OWN BASES. This is NOT GOOD TEAMWORK. Spring past a 1v1 is about teamwork, if you fail to realise this go back to quake, because you aren't helpful to anyone.
If a front line player starts to fall, you HELP THAT PERSON, you do not CONTINUE TO TECH UP WHILE THEIR LINE DISINTERGRATES.
That is all for now.