"A Remarkable Obituary:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons such as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't
spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults,
not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned
but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a
six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after
lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only
worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to
get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but could
not inform the parents when a Student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in
her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and
Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his
son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers, My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was
gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on; if not, join the majority
and do nothing."
