Boirunners guide how NOT to play in Spring - Page 4

Boirunners guide how NOT to play in Spring

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jellyman
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Post by jellyman » 07 Feb 2007, 10:11

FOUR DOOMSDAY MACHINES IS NOT ENOUGH - You may feel safe behind four doomsdays. But if your opponent builds 15 krogs, you will be in big big trouble. Better build a couple more to be safe.

BUILD A NUCLEAR POWER PLANT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE - Its got the word nuclear in it. And its one of the more expensive level 2 units in the game. It is obviously a very important usefull structure and should be the first level 2 unit built once you have level 2 constructors.

BUILD AN ARMY OF 30 FARKS - You want to be able to build 6 Annis faster than your opponent to win right? Well you need lots and lots of farks to do this effectively. Who cares if you don't have enough metal to match your build power. Your hugely superior build power will help make up for this.

LOOK DOWN ON PLAYERS OF SPEED METAL - You played this map once. And were beaten by someone with lower rank than you. Obviously the skills that you need to do well on this map are different from the skills to play a normal map. These makes these skills worthless and not real skills at all.

PLAY GREENFIELDS A LOT. Normal maps mean you have to fight after as little as a minute or two. Fighting is stressful. Stress is a leading health problem in this modern age. Think about soothing green. And peacefull fields. And endless windmills surrounded by tulips. What could be more stress relieving. By the time somoene has built enough economy to consider attacking you most likely will safely asleep and stress free anyway.

BECOME A MODERATOR - Anyone who is a moderator is better than all the other Noobs out there. Plus you can have fun banning people at muting them for no good reason at all. Of course there is a nasty conspiracy to keep sensible people like you from being mods, and only allowing the jerks to be mods (*)

JOIN A CLAN - anyone with a [ and a ] in their name must automatically be a better player than everyone else. You can start your own clan to really impress the noobs. You can choose a serious sounding name that makes you sound impressive. Like [PPG] - Pwning Players Group. However this makes you sound like a boring power gamer with no sense of fun. So maybe go for something funny. Like HHAM - Happy Hamster. Everyone will think you are really funny and want to be your friend. But then if they play you and find you have unbelievable micro skills in 1 vs 1 on a map like Coopers Hill say, they will hate you because they were expecting something fun from the game.

GET THE RIGHT NAME FOR YOUR ACCOUNT - An impressive name will make you sound like you know how to play. The first players to join spring could pick simple sounding names. Like Brocilli. Or NightRunner. Or George. But many of the obvious names are now taken. So newer players tend to have to use less obvious names like Max4MatZ. A name like that makes you look like a noob. If you try hard enough you can probably find a more obvious sounding name, and sound like a veteran.

MAKE SUGGESTIONS ON THE BA THREAD - Everyone has a favourite unit. And you need to spam lots of that favourite unit as its the unit you know how to use the best. So you need to regularly post requests to buff your favourite unit. And nerf everyone else's favourite unit. This may seem sneaky and unethical. But everyone else does it. So that makes it allright.

TELL JOKES ABOUT 'YOUR MUM' OVER AND OVER AGAIN. This is really funny. And no one ever gets tired of it. Everyone will marvel at what a funny guy you are and everyone will want you in their clan.

(*) I hope the moderators see the funny side of this and not ban me :D I don't really mean it..... honest.......
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Deathblane
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Post by Deathblane » 07 Feb 2007, 11:17

()NEW MODS SUCK After all it took you a while to learn the quickest path to tek to krog or nuke in BA, do you really want to have to learn to do that again?
Not only that but there's a good chance you might get beaten by some n00b who obviously wasn't good enough to win on BA and probably made this mod just so they'd know how to tek to nuke quickest.

()FLAGSHIPS ARE KINGS OF THE SEA They're like an oceon going krog! If you elect to go sea on a map don't bother with all those weak ships in between. Get that L2 shipyard out and flagship on the go as soon as possible.
Once you've finished it you will be sure to dominate the high seas!
If this strat doesn't work it's probably because your n00b allies didn't give you enough support while you undertook this game-winning project and you should probably ragequit to show your disgust.

()WHEN RAGEQUITTING ISN'T ENOUGH If your allies are a particuarily retarded bunch of n00bs a ragequit might not be severe enough.
Instead you should give all your units to your enemy and spec the game, alternately telling your allies what a bunch of faggots they are and giving the enemy intell.
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Uberleechen
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Post by Uberleechen » 07 Feb 2007, 17:06

()FLAGSHIPS ARE KINGS OF THE SEA
Actually...this strat works.
Adv shipyard->Adv consub->Millennium->Cruise missile ship->AA ship->Flagship has won me every game I've tried it on (Tropical).

BUILD AN ARMY OF 30 FARKS
Well, I'm not sure of the exact calculations, but I'm under the impression that the Spring resource system gives you extra resources while stalling due to rounding up to 0?

MAKE SUGGESTIONS ON THE BA THREAD
Unfortunately, I'm afraid this may work. One would hope not, though.

USE THE DRAW FEATURE
Well, yes. Not in the manner described of course, but boundaries are useful to delineate responsibility. Particularly if there are inexperienced players on your team. Also markers are ridiculously useful.
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Deathblane
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Post by Deathblane » 07 Feb 2007, 18:08

Dude, by time you've got a flagship out one would hope the game would be over. Not only that but if you're putting all those resources into a flagship whats to stop your oponent from spamming you with lurkers or corvettes or hovers and destroying the half built ship.
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drolito
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Post by drolito » 07 Feb 2007, 18:30

jellyman wrote:FOUR DOOMSDAY MACHINES IS NOT ENOUGH - You may feel safe behind four doomsdays. But if your opponent builds 15 krogs, you will be in big big trouble. Better build a couple more to be safe.
15 dommsday and 20 anti nuke is better
jellyman wrote: BUILD A NUCLEAR POWER PLANT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE - Its got the
word nuclear in it. And its one of the more expensive level 2 units in the game. It is obviously a very important usefull structure and should be the first level 2 unit built once you have level 2 constructors.
reclaim your T2 plant, blow up your com and reclaim all not neccessary building to have the nuclear plant more quickly
jellyman wrote: BUILD AN ARMY OF 30 FARKS - You want to be able to build 6 Annis faster than your opponent to win right? Well you need lots and lots of farks to do this effectively. Who cares if you don't have enough metal to match your build power. Your hugely superior build power will help make up for this.
30 fark for each constructor
jellyman wrote: LOOK DOWN ON PLAYERS OF SPEED METAL - You played this map once. And were beaten by someone with lower rank than you. Obviously the skills that you need to do well on this map are different from the skills to play a normal map. These makes these skills worthless and not real skills at all.
Speedmetal is the worse map i ever play it's only make the bigger army as soon as possible and only a noob can do that
jellyman wrote: PLAY GREENFIELDS A LOT. Normal maps mean you have to fight after as little as a minute or two. Fighting is stressful. Stress is a leading health problem in this modern age. Think about soothing green. And peacefull fields. And endless windmills surrounded by tulips. What could be more stress relieving. By the time somoene has built enough economy to consider attacking you most likely will safely asleep and stress free anyway.
Green Field suck : if u make a little army at beginning u always win because destroy all buildings that opponents have construct :(
jellyman wrote: BECOME A MODERATOR - Anyone who is a moderator is better than all the other Noobs out there. Plus you can have fun banning people at muting them for no good reason at all. Of course there is a nasty conspiracy to keep sensible people like you from being mods, and only allowing the jerks to be mods (*)
Modo are the best players i have ever seen ^^
jellyman wrote: JOIN A CLAN - anyone with a [ and a ] in their name must automatically be a better player than everyone else. You can start your own clan to really impress the noobs. You can choose a serious sounding name that makes you sound impressive. Like [PPG] - Pwning Players Group. However this makes you sound like a boring power gamer with no sense of fun. So maybe go for something funny. Like HHAM - Happy Hamster. Everyone will think you are really funny and want to be your friend. But then if they play you and find you have unbelievable micro skills in 1 vs 1 on a map like Coopers Hill say, they will hate you because they were expecting something fun from the game.
join the EEE clan, he is better than the PPG clan !!!
jellyman wrote: GET THE RIGHT NAME FOR YOUR ACCOUNT - An impressive name will make you sound like you know how to play. The first players to join spring could pick simple sounding names. Like Brocilli. Or NightRunner. Or George. But many of the obvious names are now taken. So newer players tend to have to use less obvious names like Max4MatZ. A name like that makes you look like a noob. If you try hard enough you can probably find a more obvious sounding name, and sound like a veteran.
take a noob account can avantage u when it is a bot host ... because of balance ... so make a new account every time !!!
Last edited by drolito on 07 Feb 2007, 18:31, edited 1 time in total.
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Pxtl
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Post by Pxtl » 07 Feb 2007, 18:30

@jellyman - I know you're joking, but for a while building a fusion was the first thing you _needed_ to do when you hit L2, since the fusion was critical to your economy - and the fusion was much, much more efficient than other engergy sources. Then Caydr nerfed it.
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drolito
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Post by drolito » 08 Feb 2007, 10:47

no ... the first time u have to make is an army to explose fusion of opponents ! If u always want to stuff u may loose lot of time ... attack first give the win 9/10 times !
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rattle
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Post by rattle » 08 Feb 2007, 17:31

Stop discussing working strategies in this thread please or SwiftSpear will have to rename it again. I, as an unexperienced and new player, am confused now! :P

I think this thread should be for Boirunner alone, the others just ain't funny.
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Boirunner
Kernel Panic Co-Developer
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Post by Boirunner » 08 Feb 2007, 17:46

rattle wrote:Stop discussing working strategies in this thread please or SwiftSpear will have to rename it again. I, as an unexperienced and new player, am confused now! :P

I think this thread should be for Boirunner alone, the others just ain't funny.
Thanks, but I'm fresh outta ideas. Also, I found RogerNs stuff hilarious. I might take the best "advice" out of this thread and put them on the lighter side of spring.
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rattle
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Post by rattle » 08 Feb 2007, 20:33

some of the others just ain't that funny.
Corrected, was in a hurry. Yes indeed they're quality.
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Renofox
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Post by Renofox » 12 Feb 2007, 02:45

This thread is great, I'll just have to contribute to it...

()FIGHT TO WIN - Your objective is to destroy the enemy completely, so a small attack is nothing but a waste of resources unless it wipes out the entire enemy army. It is better to avoid contact until you have amassed an unstoppable army that is enough to wipe out the enemy in one swoop.

()INFORMATION DOES NOT KILL - While radars reveal the presence of enemy units, they have no practical use for the battle. Simply knowing where your enemy is does absolutely nothing to hurt him.

()SUPERIOR RANGE = INVULNERABILITY - The perfect strategy is to hit your enemy so he cannot hit you. Big Berthas and intimidators can slay the enemy without giving them even a change to retaliate. Only a fool would try to attack a BB with a bunch of lowly Flashes.
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manored
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Post by manored » 12 Feb 2007, 03:28

Renofox wrote:This thread is great, I'll just have to contribute to it...

()FIGHT TO WIN - Your objective is to destroy the enemy completely, so a small attack is nothing but a waste of resources unless it wipes out the entire enemy army. It is better to avoid contact until you have amassed an unstoppable army that is enough to wipe out the enemy in one swoop.
This one its not so wrong. Making small attacks give your enemy metal, so you shouldnt attack unleash you are almost sure your arm can push the front line a little forward.
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knorke
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Post by knorke » 12 Feb 2007, 03:55

lol who reclaims metal on speedmetal? if the krog is finished just nuke the trash off the bridge so he can walk out the base!

Pushing back frontlines is boring tbh.
Games where the bordes change like in Liquid Wars are much more fun.
-> http://www.ufoot.org/liquidwar


Oh and the Commanders Dgun can kill EVERYTHING, just walk in the water and get those submarines!
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Boirunner
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Post by Boirunner » 12 Feb 2007, 11:35

() SKILL PERSISTS! Gameplay on basically every map is the same, if you are playing the same mod. That's obvious: the same units, the same balance equals the same game. So why should you play differently? Just memorize a building order and two strategies or three, and use them on every map. If the map happens to have a bit more metal, that only means that the building will go faster, and if it has a bit less metal, it will go slower. Chokepoints or planes, no matter. If a strategy works on one map, it will work on all others, too!
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KDR_11k
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Post by KDR_11k » 15 Feb 2007, 22:39

() YOU MAKE THE RULES! Tired of being attacked by a bunch of T1 units before your Annihilator is online? Your next game will be 20 minutes no rush because those rushers are just skillless noobs that don't understand the importance of teching. The only counter to LRPCs is attacking? No, just make a NoBB rule and all is well.

() METAL SPOTS ARE POINTLESS MICRO! Real men play on metal maps because having to place the mexes on actual metal spots is just a waste of time. Drag a box of them and your ressource needs are fulfilled.

() SPRING IS NOT STARCRAFT! Flame anyone who thinks otherwise. Especially flame those pesky modders who want features that would turn Spring into Starcraft. Spring is designed to be OTA, suggesting anything like "fuel" just means they're out to ruin your favourite mod! In fact, all feature requests are just attempts to ruin your favourite mod with Starcraft features so make sure you flame any and all requesters into submission.

() NEEDS MOAR TA! There aren't enough TA mods out there. In fact there are none that play JUST the way you want them to so you HAVE to make your own. Make sure it has at least 400 units grabbed at random from various websites and remember, more tiers = more fun! In YOUR mod Krogoths will just be small fry, everyone will be in awe as they see your tier 4 and 5 units that can destroy an entire base in one shot!
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Comp1337
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Post by Comp1337 » 24 May 2007, 21:44

i was promised free porn
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manored
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Post by manored » 24 May 2007, 21:52

write "porn" or anything else remotly similar on google and you will see.
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Quanto042
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Post by Quanto042 » 24 May 2007, 22:06

where's my porn? >_<
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TradeMark
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Post by TradeMark » 24 May 2007, 22:17

Porn is for noobs.
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TradeMark
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Post by TradeMark » 24 May 2007, 22:21

OH this was real topic? :D
Then i gotta quote something.
And if your ally is having trouble holding his chokepoint, then he's obviously a n00b and you should first capture his comm and use it to commbomb
I have done that many times :) But i didnt capture his/theirs commanders, i just used atlas. Its fun to combomb enemy with allies commanders, and then reclaim the metal fast XD
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