Crane Flies
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- unpossible
- Posts: 871
- Joined: 10 May 2005, 19:24
Crane Flies
anybody else being driven to distraction by the little bastards this summer?
favourite strategy: from 7pm onwards sneak into the house through open windows, find a spot on a wall and sit there until somebody switches a light off and goes to bed. then fly around the room like crazy! key objectives include:
1: show how good you are at flying into those paper globe lampshades from ikea.
2: make incredible noise for your small size, bashing wings against walls/ceilings/floors inspite of having ludicrously long legs that should preclude wings from said actions.
3: when being hunted instinctively hide on top of cupboards, behing wardrobes or anything large enough to be a fuss to move.
4: if missing legs fly maniacally at high velocity in a spiral - they'll never catch you!
5: if at any point lights come back on it's musical chairs - the last one to stop is for it! Under no circumstances give away your location while the lights are on - but give 'em hell as soon as they go out!
death to all craneflies!
favourite strategy: from 7pm onwards sneak into the house through open windows, find a spot on a wall and sit there until somebody switches a light off and goes to bed. then fly around the room like crazy! key objectives include:
1: show how good you are at flying into those paper globe lampshades from ikea.
2: make incredible noise for your small size, bashing wings against walls/ceilings/floors inspite of having ludicrously long legs that should preclude wings from said actions.
3: when being hunted instinctively hide on top of cupboards, behing wardrobes or anything large enough to be a fuss to move.
4: if missing legs fly maniacally at high velocity in a spiral - they'll never catch you!
5: if at any point lights come back on it's musical chairs - the last one to stop is for it! Under no circumstances give away your location while the lights are on - but give 'em hell as soon as they go out!
death to all craneflies!
My Hint- Wax into the Ears - and nothing will awake you again.
My little personal favourite "Hate Bastard Insect" is still unknown to me. I just know, that after it has its hit on me (which i never`t felt) usual the Skin starts to swell, for example in the Face - till one Eye is completely closed. 2 Dimensional Sight for about 2 Days. It is pretty cool having such a Sting into the Arme (at least it looks cool) but in the Face, and thre hours later i look even more from Mars than usual. Oh, how i envy you for your Noise making Bastars...
My little personal favourite "Hate Bastard Insect" is still unknown to me. I just know, that after it has its hit on me (which i never`t felt) usual the Skin starts to swell, for example in the Face - till one Eye is completely closed. 2 Dimensional Sight for about 2 Days. It is pretty cool having such a Sting into the Arme (at least it looks cool) but in the Face, and thre hours later i look even more from Mars than usual. Oh, how i envy you for your Noise making Bastars...
In saying taht filling a Dyson entirly with cran flys is very fun (and looks amazing, just remeber to empty it befor you start so that its just cran flys)
Or, for the more portable opton use a Dustbuster (though you have to be alot closer to get them sucked in).
If you can't be arsed to move get a high watt lamp with an upsidedown shade ... then just empty the shade out every 20 mins or so (as burning cran fly stinks to high heven.
And no... I dont liek teh little buggers at all.
aGorm
Or, for the more portable opton use a Dustbuster (though you have to be alot closer to get them sucked in).
If you can't be arsed to move get a high watt lamp with an upsidedown shade ... then just empty the shade out every 20 mins or so (as burning cran fly stinks to high heven.
And no... I dont liek teh little buggers at all.
aGorm
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