Caydr: A chronicle of attempted drunkenness.

[Caydr]

Drank 2 beers.

Drank 2 overflowing shots of Jack Daniels.

Just stated another beer. It's 7.1% Labatt Maximum Ice.

I shallst quoteth from my other posts:

Over the last 10 minutes I've had 2 beers, still nothing. The offensive words flow a little more easily but that's it. After watching Kotaku's "GTA4 drunk driving" video I'd have though I'd be feeling something by now.... I guess my samsonlike self is truly immune to all forms of attack. Who would dare stand against me, I, who dual-wield.

Will be back in a few minutes, going to do 4 shots and see what that does for me.

Still nothing.

No, wait, I can't feel my tongue or throat.

...Damn this would be a bad time to find out I'm allergic to Jack Daniels.


Edit: Nah, I'm fine.

This is all on an empty stomach, I should mention. Haven't eaten since 5:20 AM, it is now 5:29 PM.

Edit 2: Opening ANOTHER Labatt Maximum Ice (7.1% alcohol)
That puts me up to 144 mL of alcohol just from the beer, then another 4 overflowing shots of Jack Daniels (40%)... What a rip.

Edit 3: Aha! My head just got heavy. What else you got, alcohol? Seriously, you better make me see pink elephants or something at least.

Crap, left my supper in the microwave... gotta go grab it.

Just started that third beer now... it's about half gone.

To give some backstory, I'm a person who feels that he is mostly immune to alcohol. I've drank an entire 1.5L bottle of 12% wine without feeling the slightest bit woozy.

After that, I drank an entire good-sized (700mL?) glass of 40% alcohol... all it did to me is make me unable to move, not sick. Like, I was on my bed, but I still ate 4 slices of pizza. More like a headache, not the stereotypical "drunk".

So here I am... drank 2 high-percent beers, then 4 shots of Jack Daniels (40%) and now the third beer.

I noticed as I was coming upstairs that I seemed to be able to jump up the stairs without any of my normal difficulty... drunkenness?

Furthermore, as I am typing this, my vision grows a litttle wobbly. However, as you can see, I am still quite capable of rational thought, as I can type this without typo with ease.

Let's see how far this goes.

Why am I posting this on a forum? I guess it's become almost a trend around here to make drunk posts, and I've wondered for a long time if I can even become drunk.

Wow my arm just moved fast.

Gotta go down and retrieve my supper (was supposed to be my lunch).

[Caydr]

I endeavour to think straight, convinced that I am unable to become drunk. I'm not laughing or being crazy, but for some reason I was unable to type "laughing" correctly for about 7 attempts there.

I must not become intoxicated. I cannot become drunk, that's impossible.

[Caydr]

Shit, I just spilled beer on my chin. Still it could've happened to anyone, it's meaningless.

Maybe I'll watch Gundam, that's bound to distance me from reality.

edit: Damn I gotta go get my supper, it's getting cold.

See, no typos yet, I'm not drunk.

[Caydr]

Found my lunch. It was not in the microwave.... or rather.. no, it was, but I went to the shitter before I went to get it. I'm feeling something right now, however I am still fully in control of my actions. Not drunk.

[Caydr]

*has conquered the third beer, gone to get fourth*

Matthew Good - Weapon is an excellent song.

[Caydr]

Did not hold the railing on the way back up, drunkenness I challenge you to a duel. I choose the guy from Soul Calibur with a long pole who has that one long-range move that kicks ass.

[Caydr]

Eating food. Drinking fourth beer. However I just spelled "Fourth" "Forther" and "Spelled" "Spelt"....

Could it be I'm down to the average intelligence level of the world? I'd often wondered what it was like to be mediocre.

[smoth]

aww, when drunk you think of gundam and by extension ME! you know you loev meh!

[AF]

Cabbage?

[Acidd_UK]

Good luck Cadyr! I ofen wonder what a video diary of myself out on a bender would be like....

PS No homosexual jokes pls

PPS Ok ok, only if they're really funny tho.

[SwiftSpear]

From my experience. Becoming intoxicated decreases your IRL FPS, and makes trivial motor skills require more concentration. "Drunk posts" are simply the result of drunk people being amused by their lack of coordination and not being assed to fix their spelling mistakes as they make them. That's the emotional end of getting drunk, you care about pretty much everything alot less, and think things that are not funny are.

[TheBigPK]

If you drink alone at your computer I would guess you would not act/feel half as drunk as if you were drinking with tons of people. Try going through at least half of a fifth of cheap vodka at a party, you'll be drunk. If there are no nearby parties, find a college campus. If there are no nearby college campuses ... ... drive to one. Usually going randomly to parties you don't know anyone at works kind of well as long as you get drunk enough and blend in a bit.

Going solo, just drink a bit more than 4 beers and 2 shots. Though it appeared you felt it near the end there...

[manored]

If I remember well you need only 0,7% of alcohol in your blood to die

[SwiftSpear]

If I remember well you need only 0,7% of alcohol in your blood to die

The absorption rate of toxic alcohol into the bloodstream is less than 100% vs the quality listed on the bottle. In order to produce a blood alcohol of 0.7% you would need to drink in the area of 3 Mickies of vodka within a 2 hour period, probably more. 6 Beers will put most people at only 0.2% still too drunk to drive, but far from life threatening. Also, alcohol metabolizes at a rate of about 2 beers worth in 4 hours, so you not only have to drink alot, but you have to drink it fairly fast.

[Sleksa]

From my experience. Becoming intoxicated decreases your IRL FPS

This is by far the best explanation i've heard!

[Michilus_nimbus]

Fufnakel

[Cabbage]

Take some MDMA, go clubbing for a bit then make a thread, more interesting that way

[I2:Isaacment_Day]

Take some MDMA, go clubbing for a bit then make a thread, more interesting that way

this idea rules

[I2:Isaacment_Day]

mdma posting would be the opposite to drunk posting

you'd type really quickly and be nice to everyone

edit:

I drink about 2 cartons of beer a week, and on top of that I go out to the pub 2-4 nights a week.

My alcohol tolerance has gotten to the point im out of money before I feel more than a little buzzed.

[Cabbage]

mdma posting would be the opposite to drunk posting

you'd type really quickly and be nice to everyone

Yup, but the problem is you end up wasting so much time typing nice messages to people etc you regret spending so long doing it the next day, i've learnt from my mistakes ^^